Will They End Up Together?
by mckennaa
Summary: Megan has been found after years of being missing, and Nathan had moved on and found someone new. What is in store for Meredith and Nathan now that Megan has been found alive? Post 13x24
1. The Accident

**A/N : This is my first fanfiction, so sorry in advance if it sucks! It's set after 13x24.**

 **It will focus on Merthan, but you will see other ships also :)**

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I stood there on my porch digging through my purse trying to find my keys. I literally just had them, but I guess being up for over 24 hasn't helped that. Between the no sleep and helping with the fire at the hospital last night, I'm exhausted. I had only gone to find and tell Nathan the news about Megan, but when I saw the corner of the hospital blow up, I knew it was going to be a long night.

"Mer?" Maggie said touching my shoulder, causing me to jump.

"I, I can't find my keys." I stammered, getting frustrated as I just had them.

"Here, I've got mine." She unlocked the door, and we both went inside and immediately put our stuff down. She gave me a concerned look, probably wanting to know if there was another reason why I was frustrated other than the keys. I figure I'll end up telling her after we see the kids and grab some food.

I follow her into the kitchen and see that the nanny had ordered pizza for lunch. Zola and Bailey are sat at the table eating, so wrapped in their own conversation, that they to not even notice me. I gave them both a hug and kiss before sitting down and grabbing my own slice.

We sat in silence for a while just eating our pizza until the nanny came in. "I put Ellis down for a nap a few minutes ago, she may still be up."

"I'll just let her sleep for now. Thanks for ordering lunch. I'm going to sleep for a couple hours, seeing it's been too long since I've seen my bed. Maggie can watch over the kids while I sleep, and you can go home. Oh, and you will probably have a good couple days off seeing as the hospital blew up and caught fire last night. I'm also probably going to being helping Owen and Amelia with whatever the need." I sighed, knowing that she had to help Owen, even if that meant bumping into Riggs a couple times. Seeing as I don't know where Nathan and I stand relationship wise, I know it will be very awkward.

The nanny nodded and walked into the living room to gather up her stuff, and I started out the kitchen but Maggie caught my arm.

"Help Owen and Amelia with what? Is she finally pregnant? Are they breaking up?" Maggie questioned.

In a serious tone, I said "Come to my room and I'll explain everything, I don't want to confuse the kids until we know for sure what's going on." She gave me a concerned look before following me up the stairs and into my room. I shut my door and just fell back onto my bed, with Maggie sitting next to me. God, I needed some sleep, hopefully sleeping on the whole Nathan and Megan thing will make it easier. I know Maggie is going to have a lot of questions so it might be a while before I sleep.

"I will probably need to help Owen and Amelia because they found Owen's sister Megan. She is alive. They are on their way to Madgon Army Medical Center, where she is being transferred and treated. Nathan knows, and he is also on his way there." I looked over at her, trying to read her expression.

"She is alive? How many years has she been missing and where has she been all these years?" I could all ready feel her prodding me with questions, some that I just didn't know the answers to.

"Yeah, she is alive, and has been missing for like 10 years. Where she was, I don't know."

"Wow." Maggie looked like she was trying to process what I just told her. "So Nathan knows, who told him and how is he?"

"I told him actually. I told Amelia I would go and find him and tell him, that's why I was looking for him at the hospital. After I told him he asked me a ton of questions I didn't know the answers too. When he was walking to his car he got caught up in his excitement and picked me up and spun me around. He felt bad afterwards when he realized he was leaving me, but I told it was fine and that I would have already been gone if it was Derek. He assured me he could drive and left." I let out a big yawn while waiting for Maggie's response. Hopefully that was enough for her for now so I could get some sleep.

Maggie looked over at me and was just silent. She was probably trying to come up with a way to comfort me. "He wouldn't just leave you, you know that, right?"

"I don't know that." I started to laugh, and Maggie gave me a very confused look. "I've been in a situation somewhat like this before actually, and the person left me, at least for a little while."

"What do you mean you have been in a situation like this before?"

"When I met Derek, he was married and I didn't know about it. We started off as just a one night stand like Nathan and I did. I told Derek that I wouldn't date him because he was my boss, and I told Nathan that I wouldn't date him because of you. Then they both chased me, and then we got happy together. Then Derek's wife showed up. Now it's Nathan's fiance showing up." I just giggled at the fact I got stuck in the same situation twice.

Maggie laughed then added "Wow, I didn't know that. Derek eventually picked you, and I think Nathan will do the same." She reassured me with a smile.

"I just hope I don't end up begging like last time." I smiled at the memory of Derek and I in the scrub room, and me telling him to "pick me, choose me, love me." Maggie looked more confused than before, and I said, "That's another story for another time."

"Uh, well you look exhausted so I'll keep an eye on the kids so you can get some rest." Maggie got up, walked to the door, and before walking out said, "Thanks for telling me about Owen's sister and I hope Nathan stays with you, you have been happier since you two started dating" She smiled and shut my door.

I have been happier since we started to date, but that was about to change. I didn't even bother to change into comfy clothes, I just wanted to sleep. Kicking of my shoes, and laying down, I instantly drifted into a peaceful slumber.

* * *

I was jarred awake after sleeping for about an hour and half when my phone rang. Damn it, I meant to turn it off so no one woke me up. Not even bothering to look at who was calling, I picked it up and sleepily said "hello."

After a moment, the person calling me spoke up. "Meredith, are you there?"

"Y-yes, is uh is Owen alright?" Amelia calling hopefully meant good news.

"Uh yeah, he is alright. He is with her now, in her room. She is still asleep, they sedated her for the flight and should wake up soon, then we will know more." Amelia sighed, knowing this wasn't easy for him.

"Thanks for the update Amelia, I'm going back to sleep now." I yawned hoping that was all she had to tell me as I wanted to go back to sleep.

"Wait, Meredith! That isn't what I called you about." She sounded more serious than before.

"It's not? Then why are you calling me?"

"Yeah, um, I needed to tell you something." She got quieter, and I got more annoyed.

"Amelia, spit it out already, I want to go back to sleep!" I snapped.

"It's, it's" She paused, making me curious as to what she had to tell me.

"Amelia, seriously tell me already."

"It's about Nathan." She replied, and silence was followed as I already know he knows about Megan, since I told him, and I told her I would tell him.

"I did tell him about Megan, he knows. He is actually on his way to you guys and should be there soon." I sighed, not really in the mood to argue with her.

"No Meredith. That's not what I was talking about. I was calling to tell you that he," She paused, sounding like she was trying to come with the right words, "he was in an accident."

"N-Nathan was in accident?" I froze, trying to process her words.

"Meredith, he was involved in a car accident on his way here." Amelia had just confirmed my fears.

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 **A/N : Please leave a review :)**

 **Yes, I ship Merthan, Mer deserves to be happy. Merder will always be my fav though.**


	2. To the Hospital

**Thank you guys for all the nice reviews :)**

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"It's about Nathan." She replied, and silence followed as I know he knows about Megan, since I told him, and I told her I would tell him.

"I did tell him about Megan, he knows. He is actually on his way to you guys and should be there soon." I sighed, not really in the mood to argue with her.

"No Meredith. That's not what I was talking about. I was calling to tell you that he," She paused, sounding like she was trying to come up with the right words, "he was in an accident."

"N-Nathan was in an accident?" I froze, trying to process her words.

"Meredith, he was involved in a car accident on his way here." Amelia had just confirmed my fears.

"is he okay?" I questioned as I got up and began looking for my shoes. There was about a minute of silence from both of us before I spoke up again "Amelia, answer me. Is he okay?"

"He is still in the trauma room, so I don't know exactly how he is."

I had probably a million questions racing through my mind but the only one to come out was "Where the hell are my shoes?"

"Meredith- "

"I'm fine. I'll be on my way as soon as I find my shoes." I cut her off. I know she was going to ask if I was okay, and I honestly don't know. I will talk to her when I get there to find out exactly what happened, and everything she knows.

"Meredith, please have Maggie or somebody drive you, okay?"

"Okay, bye." I hung up, not wanting to argue with her, since I'd rather drive. I still needed to find my shoes, and Maggie might know where they are.

I ran down the stairs, and started to look for Maggie. I found her in the living room watching tv with Zola, and Bailey asleep on the other side of the couch. "Hi guys. Maggie, have you seen my shoes?" I say softly, not wanting to wake Bailey.

"Uh, hi Mer. I think they are in your room" Maggie and Zola looked at me, both looked surprised to see me up.

"Thanks." I started up the stairs and heard footsteps not far behind me. I got in my room and waited for her to get there before resuming looking for my shoes.

"Mer, you look a little freaked out, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I just need you to watch the kids while I run Owen and Amelia some clothes." I didn't feel like telling her and having her ask me a million times if I'm okay, and I just need her to watch the kids seeing as Alex is who knows where and I just sent the nanny home. I just hope she'll be okay with me lying to her yet again.

"Uh okay and your shoes are right there." She pointed beside my nightstand, and there they were. I must have over looked them when I was freaking out, I still am, I just managed to calm myself a little bit. It's like a two-hour drive, so no way I could stay calm the whole time, but I could try.

I grabbed my shoes and quickly threw them on, got up and grabbed my keys off my nightstand. "I'll call you when I get there, but call me if you need me." I walked out of my room, just leaving Maggie sitting on my bed. I walked down stairs and grabbed my coat and purse. As I was putting my coat on, Zola came over to me.

"Hey ZoZo, what's up?"

"Mommy, are you going to the hospital?"

"No honey. I'm going to see Owen and Amelia."

"Ooh! Can I come Mommy?"

"Not now ZoZo, maybe in a couple days, alright?" Zola nodded, but looked disappointed. "If you behave and listen to Aunt Maggie while I'm gone, we will go on an ice cream date, just the two of us. How does that sound?"

"I'll be a good girl, I promise." She smiled, which made me smile.

I walked out the door, and as I was locking the door I heard a creaking noise that startled me. I looked over at the swing, and there was Alex, hugging an unopened bottle of tequila.

"I'm guessing that's for the both of us?" I asked as I walked over to him, but making sure not to sit down since I wanted to get on the road already but I have to make sure he is okay before I go.

"Uh, yeah. Mainly me, but I was hoping you would drink with me." He smiled, knowing I hardly ever turn down a drink with my person. Him saying "mainly me" make me think he doesn't know about the whole Nathan and Megan situation. I understand though, since he has been dealing with his own stuff.

"Normally I would say yes, but I've got a two-hour drive ahead of me, so I should probably get going."

"Two-hour drive? Where are you going?"

"I'll explain more later, but they found Owen's sister, Megan. She is alive. I'm going to bring Owen and Amelia some clothes and stuff." I bit my tongue, not wanting to tell him anything else till I knew more. I also wanted to go alone, to hopefully figure what I would say to Nathan. That's if he is alright.

"Oh. Call me with updates on how she is." He didn't even seem to realize or remember that Nathan and Megan were together and engaged, and what that could possibly mean for Nathan and I's relationship. I didn't even know what it means, but hopefully I'll figure out soon 'cause I definitely hate thinking about what could happen.

I smiled at Alex and then walked to my car, and got in. I sat there for a minute or two and let the tears I had been holding back fall down my face. After a few minutes, I quickly wiped my face, pulled out my phone and looked up the address of the hospital, and got directions. I took a deep breath and began pulling out of my driveway.

* * *

I finally could see the hospital. I let out a deep breath, not knowing what to expect once I got there. Amelia hasn't called to update me, which only makes me worry more. I did call Maggie to check on the kids and got an earful on how I should have told her before I left. Maggie said a few minutes after I left Amelia called her and told her what had happened. Amelia also called Alex, who I got an angry and sympathetic phone call from. They both are mad at me for lying to them, but oh well.

I pulled into a parking spot not too far from the entrance of the hospital. I looked in the rearview mirror at myself to make sure I didn't look like a total wreck. I hadn't brushed my hair, so I just pulled it back into a messy ponytail. I had some bags under my eyes from lack of sleep the past couple days, so I fug through my purse to find some concealer and put it on. Now instead of looking exhausted, I look like I just woke up.

I sighed, and got out of the car. I walked toward the entrance of the hospital and thought of a million possibilities of things that could be wrong with Nathan, everything from a brain bleed to just some scratches and bruises. Of course, my mind wondered to the worst things that could happen, seeing as only those things happen to me. I pushed those thoughts away as I walked in the hospital doors and walked to the receptionist's desk. "Hi, I'm here to see Megan Hunt." I didn't want to be taken to Nathan without talking to Amelia first.

"Megan Hunt is on restricted visitors, you have to be on the list." The older lady on the right stated.

"Doctor Meredith Grey." I understood why they have the list, who knows how she will react when she wakes up or how she'll react when she sees people she knows. I doubt I would be on the list but it's worth a try.

"I'm sorry ma'am, your name isn't on the list." The receptionist said. The lady on the right looked me up and down, probably deciding whether I was crazy or just a wreck.

"Um, can you tell me where Owen Hunt and his wife is, I would like to talk to them." I forced a smile, hoping not to look too crazy.

The lady on the right raised an eyebrow at me and said "I'll take you to the waiting room where Owen Hunt's wife currently is. Follow me." She got up a started down the hallway, and I followed closely behind. I followed her into the elevator, and watched as she pressed 3. There was silence until the doors opened on 2, and a couple people who looked like surgeons stepped on. They whispered about this patient "that had been lost for 10 years" and the lady taking me to Owen and Amelia shot them a "you better shut up" look and glanced at me. Then the doors opened and I followed her to the waiting room.

"Hey Mer." Amelia gave me a hug which was very awkward. "Nathan- "

"How is Megan doing? Any injuries?" I cut her off, delaying the inevitable news about Nathan.

"She is still sedated, and she will stay that way till after her surgery tomorrow. She has a couple breaks that didn't heal properly, and they are going to fix them. Physically, she seems alright. Mentally, we won't know till she wakes up. Owen is in there with her, if you would like to see her."

"I would actually but, she is restricted on visitors, and I'm not on the list." I didn't really want to see right now, but it would seem rude to say no.

"Oh. I'll have Owen fix." She sat down in one of the waiting room chairs and motioned me to come sit next to her. "Maggie said you were bringing Owen and me some clothes?"

I scoffed, of course Maggie would tell her that. "That was kinda my coverup so I didn't have to tell her that Nathan was in an accident, and that was the reason for coming here, not for you guys."

Amelia laughed. "I kinda figured since you don't have a key to my house or know where the spare is."

"If I wanted too, I could have brought you all the clothes that are at my house from when you "crashed there", so don't laugh at my coverup."

"Fine, but I do want those back."

"Of course, come and get 'em." I took in a deep breath knowing that I had put off knowing about Nathan for long enough. "How did you find out Nathan was in an accident?"

"Some ER doctor heard I was a neuro surgeon, and asked me to consult on John Doe that was in a car crash." I could feel the tears coming, but for the moment I held them back. "When I got there, I saw it was Nathan. After I finished the consult, I called you."

"Oh." Was all I could say. He had a head injury, of all things.

"Meredith, it was just a bad head lac and a concussion. The CT was clear, but he hasn't woken up yet. When he does, I'll give him a full neuro exam."

I just looked over at her and she grabbed my hand and held it. "Anything else?"

"A broken ankle and a couple broken ribs. He is intubated, seeing as he crashed in the trauma room."

"He crashed?" His heart had actually stopped beating, but they got him back. I would definitely have to find out who the doctors were that worked on him and thank them.

"Yeah, follow me." She got up started down one of the many hallways. We stopped in front of a room, I could see him, intubated and still sleeping. A big piece of gauze and tape covered what I assume is his head lac. On his right foot and leg there was a cast. Everywhere else had little scratches and bruises.

"Do they know why he crashed? Was he distracted?" I knew it was my fault for letting him drive, but I wonder if they had figured out that he was distracted.

"Yes and no. As far as they know, he wasn't distracted, but they do know why he crashed." Amelia quieted her tone and looked at me.

"Then how did he crash?" I had to know before I walked into his room, I just had too.

"A drunk driver swerved into his lane and hit him on the driver's side. He was lucky he wasn't hurt worse actually."

"A drunk driver did this?" I could once again feel the tears coming, but I stopped them. One managed to slide down my cheek but I quickly wiped it away. I had to be strong.

"Mer, you aren't going to like this." Amelia looked at me before glancing into Nathan's room. "The drunk driver wasn't hurt, didn't even need a stitch."

I felt another tear slide down my cheek and didn't bother to wipe it. Some irresponsible bastard did this to Nathan, and didn't get hurt. I don't understand why the universe is so screwed up and mean at times, it just doesn't make sense. "Is he being charged?"

"I think so. You should go in there and sit with Nathan till he wakes up. I'll tell a nurse to take out his intubation, since it looks like he is breathing over it." I nodded and walked into his room as Amelia walked to the nurse's station.

I pulled up one of those chairs right next to his bed, and took his hand in mine. A nurse came in and removed the tube, changed the fluids in his IV since they were running low, and left the two of us alone. I decided to let the tears fall, better while he is asleep so he doesn't see them. I don't want him to see me really upset and that influence his choice, since it is his choice. If he chooses Megan, I'll be happy for him, his miracle dream came true. I decide it's probably bot the best idea for him to wake to me holding his hand either. I sat back in the chair and watched him sleep for a few minutes before I began to drift to sleep. Just as I was almost asleep, I heard someone say my name.

"M-Meredith." It was his voice, weaker than usual but it was there. I opened my eyes to see his staring back at me.

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 **Hope you guys liked it. ;)**


	3. What Happened?

**A/N:** **Thank you guys for all the lovely reviews!**

 **I don't own Grey's Anatomy.**

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"M-Meredith." It was his voice, weaker than usual but it was there. I opened my eyes to see his staring back at me.

"Nathan?"

"Meredith, why I am in a hospital?" He looked around the room then back at me.

"Uh, let me call Amelia." I needed her to do the neuro check, and answer the questions he might have about Megan. I picked up the phone and called Amelia, while Nathan watched me carefully. "Hey Amelia, Nathan is awake." I hung up the phone and focused my attention on Nathan.

"Meredith, please tell me what's going on."

"Uh okay. Do you remember-"

"Hey guys! Nathan, how ya feeling?" Amelia walked into the room and sat in the chair on the other side of Nathan's bed.

"Um, a slight headache and my leg hurts. Will one of you two tell me why I am here?" Amelia and I glanced at each other, then back at Nathan.

Amelia cleared her throat and stood up. "Okay Nathan, I'm going begin your neuro check now. Can you follow the light with your eyes?" Amelia pulled out her pen light and moved it across his face as his eyes followed. "Can you move your hands and feet for me?" My hand was on the bed next his, and he took my hand into his gave it a squeeze. The foot that wasn't in a cast moved slightly. "Good, good. Alright, can you tell me what year it is?"

"2017."

"Do you know where you are?"

"Um, I'm obviously in a hospital, and it is definitely not Grey-Sloan. Why are you giving me a neuro check?"

"I'll get to that in a minute. Do you remember what happened at Grey-Sloan yesterday? You were there when it happened, take a minute if you need to." He was in the OR, in the middle of a surgery. I remember finding him there and helping him finish so he could get out of there.

"No, what happened at Grey-Sloan yesterday? Should I remember it?" His eyes met mine and I looked over at Amelia, trying to avoid eye contact.

"Nathan, I know this is going to be hard to understand but you may have some temporary memory loss. We don't know how much, but we can try to figure out where your memory leaves off. So, what is the last thing you remember?" I stayed silent, unsure of what to do if he doesn't remember last night. That would mean we would have to tell him about Megan all over again, I don't know if I could do that again.

Nathan glanced at me, probably wondering why I was so quiet. Then he got a guilty look on his face that confused me. "I, uh, the last thing I remember is," He got quieter like he needed to hide something. "The last thing I remember is being in bed with you Mer, after we did you know what and you had fallen asleep. I remember laying beside you to go to sleep, then I woke up here."

I looked to Amelia not sure what to say. The last thing he remembers is something Amelia really didn't need to know. "That was uh, Tuesday night Nathan. It is Thursday evening now, and a lot has happened." I sighed, not sure really what to tell him. If that truly is the last thing he remembers, then he doesn't remember us waking up in bed together and me kicking him out. Or me inviting him to dinner to meet the kids, which could actually be a good thing.

"Well, tell me everything. I'm ready. First tell me why I am here and needed a neuro check."

"Well, uh, you were involved in a car accident on your way here, that's what the neuro check is about. The police are probably going to come in later to get a statement from you, even though they are almost positive is wasn't your fault." Amelia stated, glancing over to me.

"Why was I coming here?" Nathan looked confused, so he obviously didn't remember.

"Let me tell you how the whole day went, and what happened at Grey-Sloan you understand why you were coming here." Nathan nodded his head, and gave my hand a squeeze, urging me to continue. "Well, I'll skip over the little stuff and tell you what happened at Grey-Sloan." I decided to skip over me inviting him to dinner to meet the kids, maybe another time I would tell him. "I was on my way back to the hospital to tell you some news that I had just found out, and when I was in the hospital parking lot, I saw the corner of the hospital a few floors up explode."

"Wait, the hospital blew up?"

"Yeah. I went looking for you and found you in an OR, and helped you finish up the surgery so we could get out of there. Once outside I helped you get oxygen 'cause of all the smoke, and you sat in the back of one of the ambulances for a while. I came to check on you, and tell you the news I learned before the hospital blew up." I paused, taking a breath. Nathan nodded his head, wanting me to continue. "I asked you to breathe for me so I knew you could. I asked you if you remembered the miracle dream, where Derek forgets his keys and Megan goes for coffee." I pulled my hand away from his grip and crossed my arms, hugging myself tight like I was cold. I looked to Amelia for help, and when she caught my glance she understood.

"Nathan, what Meredith had told you was that Megan is alive, and she is here." I stared at floor by my feet, unsure of what to do.

"What?"

"She is alive, and still is asleep."

Silence filled the room as Nathan processed what he was just told. After a few minutes, he spoke up. "C-Can I see her?"

"Uh I'm sure you can, but she is about to go into surgery so probably not right now." Amelia hadn't told me when her surgery was, and since it is tonight, she will probably be awake in the morning.

"She is going into surgery? For what? Is she okay?" Nathan questioned. I could tell by tone that he is worried about her, and maybe even still loves her.

"She has a couple of old brakes and fractures that didn't heal correctly, they are going to fix them." I just stayed silent throughout this conversation and kept looking at my feet. I was holding back the tears, but occasionally one fell. I wanted to be happy for Nathan, but it is so much harder than it looks.

"Oh, okay. Meredith?" I didn't know whether I should look up or not. I decided I'm going to have to eventually, right? I wiped my face and looked up at him. I wasn't really sure what to say, so I just put my hand on the bed and started messing with the sheet. "Meredith, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, and this is about you, not me." I sniffled a little, and Nathan took my hand in his. This surprised me a little, but I wasn't going to object.

"I know this can't be easy for you, being here for me, it's going to be hard on all of us but we will get through it." I smiled a little, and squeezed his hand back. When he said "we", did it mean him and me, or him and Megan?

"I'm going to go back to hotel and wash up, give you guys some time alone." Amelia stood up, dropped her purse and it split everywhere. I walked over to the other side of the bed to help her clean it up, but I noticed some pill bottle I did not recognize. I gave her a concerned look, and she gave me one of those "I will explain later looks back." She better, 'cause now is definitely not the time to be falling off the wagon. Owen needs her right now. I went to stand up, and didn't make it all the way to my feet before falling over.

* * *

I awoke in a hospital bed, with an IV in my left arm. The last thing I remember was helping Amelia pick up her purse, falling over, and I think I heard Amelia and Nathan call my name before I blacked out. I looked over to the couch by the window, and there was Amelia, on her phone.

"Amelia?"

Amelia looked up from her phone and smiled. She walked over to me and started checking my vitals before saying anything. "Mer, how you feeling?"

"Uh, tired and confused."

"When was the last time you had eaten?"

"After I got home this morning, why?" I was running through my head a million different scenarios for why I could have blacked out.

"Hmm, that's odd, cause your blood sugar was a little on the low side but it's alright. If you don't remember, you passed out. It was a mixture of low blood sugar and exhaustion. You are getting IV fluids and you are to rest." Amelia sat back down on the couch, pulling out her phone again.

"Does Nathan know I am okay?"

"Yes, I texted him with an update just a few seconds ago. He texted me probably every five minutes till you woke up, he really cares about you Mer."

"I know he does." I paused, wondering how this whole Nathan, Megan, and I's relationship would work out.

Amelia interrupted my thoughts. "Mer about those pills you saw, they are prenatal vitamins."

"Did you pee on the stick this time?"

"Yes, and I found yesterday actually. I think I am about five weeks along."

"Well congrats. Can I rest from the comfort of my own bed?"

Amelia smirked at me. "I figured you would want to, but not quite." She walked over to me, took out the painful IV and put some gauze on it. She helped me out of bed and down the hall. We walked into a room I had been in earlier. "I'm going to give you guys a minute before I drive you home Mer. Nathan wanted to make sure you were alright." She walked out, shutting the door behind her leaving Nathan and I alone.

"Meredith, how are you feeling?" I walked over to the edge of his bed and stared at him for a moment, looking at all his cuts and bruises he had everywhere.

"I'm fine, and you are the one that is hurt." I replied softly.

"Look, I just wanted to make sure you were alright since you passed out right in front of me. I still care about you Meredith, and probably always will." The last part made smile, and I looked away. "Can I at least get a hug?" He asked, and how could you say no to someone who was just in a car crash and just found his ex-fiancé is alive. I wrapped my arms around him, resting my head on his shoulder. He pulled me closer, and I ended up sitting in his lap. He squeezed my tight, like he was afraid to let go. He was warm, so I stayed in his embrace enjoying the warmth. I nestled my face in the crook of his neck, and started to fall asleep in his arms.

All of a sudden, Amelia burst in in causing me to jump and quickly free myself of him, as if nothing happened, but I was stilling sitting in his lap. "So y'all got your time. And yes, I did just see that." She winked before walking out of the room. I got off the bed and grabbed my purse.

"Bye Nathan, if you need anything, call me." I didn't even wait to hear his response before walking out of the room to catch up to Amelia.

"Do I need to be discharged?" I was never put into a hospital gown, so was I ever admitted?

"Uh, you were never admitted. They gave you an IV and let you rest in an empty room." Amelia admitted.

"Oh. Where are the doctors that worked on Nathan in the trauma room?" I still wanted to thank them.

"We can go by the ER and see if they are still there." I nodded, and we got onto the elevator and she pressed 1. All you could hear was the hum of the elevator, and the ding when we reached the floor. I followed her to the ER, and she looked around for familiar faces. "Doctor Shaw, do you have a minute?"

He looked around the ER to see that there weren't many patients, and walked over to us. "Whatcha need Doctor Shepherd?"

Amelia looked to me, so I spoke. "I wanted to thank you for working on and saving Nathan Riggs' life."

Doctor Shaw looked at Amelia and asked, "The John Doe patient?" She nodded. "Oh, so you must be the wife. I was just doing my job but you are welcome."

"I'm not the wife, just the girlfriend." Probably ex-girlfreind now.

"Oh sorry. I'm Doctor Chris Shaw." He extened me his hand.

"Doctor Meredith Grey." We quickly shook hands.

"Pleasure to meet you Doctor Grey, but I gotta run. Incoming traumas." He replied and ran off to the ER doors.

"Let's get you home, it's getting late." Amelia pulled me toward the exit and into the parking lot. "Gimme your keys, we are taking your car but I am driving." I quickly dug through my purse and handed her my keys. It wasn't long before I was settled in my seat and we were on our way back to Seattle. I got my coat from the backseat and used it as a blanket. I was snuggling down in my seat when Amelia decided to be her talkative self.

"So, you and Nathan, do you know where you guys stand?" Probably not together, but I still don't know.

"I don't know Amelia."

"He was worried about you when you passed out, and y'all seemed pretty cozy earlier."

"I don't want to talk about it, I just want to sleep." I was getting annoyed, so to avoid any more questions I acted like I was asleep till there was silence and I could actually sleep.

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 **A/N: I gave y'all some Merthan scenes, but it still isn't going to be easy for them. And Nathan doesn't remember anything from 13x23 or 13x24.**

 **Tell me what you guys think and leave and suggestions :)**


	4. The Awkward OR

**Thank** **you for all the reviews :)**

 **FYI : This is in Nathan's point of view, about a week later.**

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I took a breath in, and let the breath out. I scrubbed my hands and arms all the way to my elbows, getting ready for this surgery while the scrub nurses prepped the patient. I should not really be doing surgery, but seeing as I am the only cardio attending here, I kinda have to. I know I'll regret it later and probably be in pain, but oh well. I had to push through and save this guy's life. I just listened to the water as it fell, wondering how bad the damage to this guy was.

My thoughts were interrupted when DeLuca came bursting through the doors that lead to the OR. "The patient's stats are dropping." I glanced through the tiny little widow above the scrub sink at the monitor, and sure enough this guy's stats were dropping. I quickly rinse my arms, grab a towel and half run half walk into the OR.

The scrub nurse helps me into a gown and some gloves, while another one ties on my surgical mask. I move quickly to the side of the table, the adrenaline making me completely forget about my broken leg. "Scalpel."

The scrub nurse hands me a scalpel, and I immediately begin the incision. This guy is going to die if we don't move fast enough and begin to repair all the damage he has suffered. "Is Doctor Bailey on her way, we need general now!" I stood on the side of the table where I was unable to see into the scrub room.

"I'm here to help and Bailey is on her way." Kepner said, now entering the OR. I hear some shuffling as the nurses help her into gown in gloves, until Kepner is at my side helping me pack him. "More packing!" Her voice boomed as the patient stats were getting worse.

"Clamp!" I yelled, and seconds later there was a clamp in my hand. I clamped the bleeder that I saw, but there were plenty more where that came from. "More packing!" We continued packing for about a minute, until I heard her voice and I stopped.

"Quickly, gown and glove me." I heard the nurse once again shuffling to gown and glove someone. "What do we got?" She asked as they helped her into the gown and tied it.

I didn't really know what to tell her. I know I have to focus on the patient but my mind wondered to the last time I saw her, which was about a week ago.

 _I was struggling with my crutches, trying to learn how to use them and balance my weight and everything. I was trying to get to the waiting room to meet up with Amelia. I wanted to talk to someone before I saw Megan for the first time since she woke up, and it would feel weird to ask Mer. I was nervous, and Amelia said she could help me. I stumbled a little, catching the wall next to me. I regained my balance when I was almost to the waiting room. I didn't walk in, because I heard her voice, and I wasn't sure what I would say or tell her. She acted so happy for me when she told me about Megan, but I could tell deep down she was hurt. I looked around the corner just to see if it was her, and sure enough, it was. I could see her tiny frame and wavy blonde tresses falling over her shoulders. I heard her laugh at something Amelia said, which only made me smile seeing as she has the cutest smile and laugh. I would kill to hear that laugh or see that smile for the rest of my life. I was so focused on Mer, I jumped when a nurse put her hand on my shoulder and asked how I was doing._

 _"I'm doing just fine, thanks for asking." The nurse smiled and continued down the hall doing whatever she was doing before she stopped to talk to me. I thought I was quiet, but I guess not. Mer and Amelia both were looking at me. As soon as my eyes met Mer's, she turned and looked away. She reached down and picked up the bag next to her, handing it to Amelia. "Here is some clothes for the both of you for like 4-5 days." She said softly, but loud enough for me to hear it._

 _I started to walk towards them, but as soon as I did, Mer gave Amelia a quick hug before disappearing down the hallway closest to them._

 _I got to Amelia and asked the obvious. "She was running from me, wasn't she?" Amelia nodded, knowing it was true._

 _"She has been through a lot, and I think she probably wants to know where you guys stand, or maybe how long till you think you'll figure it out. But don't give her hope if you don't plan on getting back together with her, 'cause I might kill you." She stated, obviously wanting to protect her sister, which is understandable. She started looking through the bag Mer had brought for her and Owen._

 _"I definitely don't want to hurt her. I just don't know what to tell her until after I see Megan." I paused unsure if I should tell Amelia this. "I-I didn't plan on falling in love with her. I really don't know what I'm going to do. Someone will probably get hurt either way, and I don't want to make the wrong choice either._

 _"Oh, it's definitely not going to be easy. Just don't going telling her you love her before you make a decsion, that would make everything messy and confusing. Make it special, if you decide to stay with her." Amelia grabbed her bag and motioned me to follow her to Megan's room._

"What do we have?" She asked yet, interrupting my thoughts.

All I could think was breathe. I'm going to be stuck with her in this OR for a while, so I had to breathe. I was hoping Kepner would fill her in, but she looked at me, not knowing anything about the patient other than he had a traumatic diaphragmatic hernia. "Male, mid-thirties, multi-car MVC. He has got a traumatic diaphragmatic hernia, with the spleen and some of the large intestine. There is also a liver lac that needs to be taken care of.

She moved to the other side of the table, directly across from me. "This guy was hit pretty hard, wasn't he?"

"Yep." There was usually some talking in the OR, but at the moment it was awkward silence. The silence was broken by DeLuca coming to help with the surgery, and asking where he was needed.

"Right here. Suction. Lap pads." Meredith spit out orders like she owned the OR, which at the moment, she did. That is just what the OR sounded like for a while, everyone yelling out orders.

Suddenly the guy's heart stopped beating. Meredith immediately jumped on it. "Get a crash cart! Pack him! Push one of epi and DeLuca, start cardiac massage!" DeLuca started to massage the heart while she got the internal paddles. "Charge to 20. Clear!" It shocked him, and we all paused to watch the monitor to see if his rhythm was back. After a couple second DeLuca began cardiac massage. "Push another of epi! Charge to 30. Clear!" Everyone removed their hands from the patient. Nothing. "Push one more of epi and charge to 50! Clear!" Once again, nothing. Kepner ripped off her mask and let out a big breath of air.

"We lost him." Kepner stated the obvious.

"No, no we didn't." Meredith stated. We all looked confused until we heard the heartbeat return on the monitor. "Bohkee, get Kepner a new mask and DeLuca let's find that damn bleeder."

I continued what I was doing, which was just checking the chest and repairing any injuries I saw. I looked up at the beautiful woman standing in front of me, focused on her work. I feel bad for not knowing where we stand, and the fact that we haven't talked in over a week until today. I stared at those amazing emerald eyes, remembering back to when I told her I joked to make her eyes do that thing they do. I didn't really notice that I had stopped what I was doing until those emerald irises were staring back at me.

"Riggs, do you have a problem?" She questioned.

"I'm fine, just thinking." I looked back down to the patient in front of me.

"Well, I do have a question for you."

I swallowed, uncertain of what she meant by that. "Uh, go for it."

"Aren't you supposed to be resting that leg and not putting any weight on it?"

Not really the question I was expecting, but it shows that she is still thinking and cares about me. "Yes, actually. But I'm sure you know that there was only one of every specialty's attendings here, seeing as we weren't supposed to perform surgeries till later, and the ER isn't even open yet. This guy was in an accident right around the corner, so they brought him here knowing that there were a few surgeons here. I'm here, because I wanted to get my mind off things before Megan comes home this weekend. I might take a few days off next week to spend with her. So no, I'm not supposed to be putting weight on that foot but I'm saving someone's life. Now, your name wasn't on the list of attendings that would be here, so the real question is why are you here?" I let another breath, and looked around to see that everyone had stopped what they were doing to listen to me.

"I, uh, don't really have a reason why I am here other than I love my job." She looked down her feet, obviously hiding something. "So, Megan is coming home this weekend?"

"Yeah, she is going to stay in the guest bedroom at Owen and Amelia's house. She is pretty healthy, remembers most things. She is very strong, stronger than I would be." I guess that's a trait I like in women, seeing as Meredith is very strong. "She is going to therapy 3 days a week, to make sure she is doing alright. We have to slowly start introducing her to new technology, seeing as it has changed so much in ten years. She has already said she want to get back into medicine as soon as possible." Medicine has also changed a lot, it would be like she was an intern again.

"Oh, well that's nice. You'll get to spend some quality time with her, which is good." You could hear the jealousy in her tone. I don't know what to tell her, Megan and I hadn't really discussed our relationship.

"Yeah." We had saved this guy's life, and now it was finally time to close him up and scrub out. Also, time to put my feet up, seeing as the adrenaline rush was gone and my foot felt like someone was stabbing it. "Kepner, can you close?"

"Sure." She hadn't really spoke much the whole time we were in the OR, probably could feel the tension between me and Mer, or just wanted to find out if we were still together.

Mer immediately walked away from the table, and quickly pulled off her gown and mask, throwing it away before walking into the scrub room. I struggled a little, wobbled over to the medical waste bin, unable to bear much weight on that foot. I stumbled into the scrub room, where Mer was already scrubbing out, and I joined her.

"You look like you are in pain, you should take some medicine and rest that foot." She looked over her shoulder and gave me a soft smile. Her smile could literally melt my heart. It made her one hundred more times beautiful than she already was. I couldn't help smiling back before she looked away.

"I will." She finished rinsing off her hands and reached for a towel, and I quickly finished mine and grabbed a towel. "Meredith, I-I…"

"I have to go Doctor Riggs." She was quick to interrupt me, probably not wanting more small talk. She reached for the door, turned back and gave me a smile.

"Meredith, wait." But she already out the door. I decided I was going to talk to her, so I followed her down the hallway. Once I caught up to her, I wrapped my arm around her waist, causing her to jump, but I pulled her into an on-call room anyways. She didn't resist once she realized it was me.

She waited until the door was shut before saying anything. "What, Nathan"

"Meredith, I just wanted to talk to you." I said softly. I knew what I was going to do.

"About what? Me and you?" She snapped back.

"Meredith, this isn't easy, for either of us." I continued talking softly, hoping to keep her calm.

"Are you… are you breaking up with me?" Her voice got quieter, realizing what was happening.

"Meredith, this isn't easy. I want to spend time with Megan, and that would take time away from you. At the moment, we are just friends and I don't know if it will stay that way."

"Oh." She said with her voice breaking, and it was obvious that she was holding back tears. "Well uh, I think I'm going to go know."

She turned and started toward the door, but I grabbed her wrist, pulling her into me. Her eyes met mine, trying to figure out what was going on. I filled the space between us, leaving my lips inches away from hers. My hands moved to cup her cheeks, but she pushed me away.

"We are broken up, we shouldn't be doing this." Her eyes moved to the floor.

"Meredith." I took a step back, wanting her to be not as close and less awkward.

"I-I got to go check on a patient." She quickly turned and left, leaving me alone in the on call room.

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 **I'm not a doctor so there are probably mistakes :(**

 **I love reading your guy's reviews, so review please :)**


	5. Lunchtime

**Thank you guys for the reviews :)**

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It was our usual car pool, with me driving, Alex in the passenger seat and Amelia and Maggie in the back seat, except we aren't going to the hospital. I had suggested last night that we should all go out to lunch since we never have the same days off. I glanced up to rearview mirror and could Maggie on her phone and Amelia touching up her makeup. Alex just sat there, looking out the window, lost in thought.

Amelia and I both wanted some wings, so Alex suggested we go to Beef 'O Brady's. As soon as I parked, Alex was the first to get out and head toward the restaurant. I got out and waited for Amelia and Maggie to hurry their butts up and get out. The three of us walked in together, immediately running into Alex who was waiting just inside the door. He must have already told the hostess, as she was already grabbing menus and started to walk toward the far corner of the restaurant. We followed, and were seated in a quiet corner. I sat next to Alex, on the end seat of the booth. I sat across from Amelia who had Maggie sitting toward her right.

Our server immediately came and gave us the specials menu, but I already knew what I wanted.

"And what would you guys like to drink tonight?" The chirpy waitress said, I hadn't caught her name when she said it earlier. Quickly I looked for her name tag, and it read "Amanda"

"Sweet tea with lemons please" Amelia was the first to up. The waitress quickly scribbled on her look at me.

I quickly glanced over the alcohol specials section, and decided just to order tea. "Tea also, no lemon though."

Maggie looked from me to Amelia, realizing why I didn't order any alcohol. "Um, just water please."

Amelia furrowed her brows, now noticing what just happened. "You guys know you can drink around me. I do have some self-control." She said with a just a hint of annoyance in her tone.

"Uh, I'm planning on eating hot wings, so tea usually works best to take away the burn." I quickly explain myself, and let out a little chuckle.

"Okay then, I'll have a margarita please." Maggie smiled as the nurse scribbled some more.

"I'll have a beer." Alex said without looking up from the menu in front of him.

"I should be back with those in a minute, would you guys like an appetizer?"

"Spinach and artichoke dip!" Amelia said excitedly.

The waitress raised her eyebrows a bit, but Amelia didn't notice. "I'll put that order in for guys, I should be back soon to get the rest of her order." She smiled and walked off.

"Well damn Mer, that's a first." Alex said nudging me.

"What's a first?" I quickly ask, unsure what he was talking about at first.

"Turning down a drink." He laughed, and Maggie nodded her head in agreement.

"Uh, someone has to be able to drive and I have a whole unopened bottle of tequila waiting for me at the house with my name on it." I smirked.

"Driving isn't an excuse, I could drive if you guys got wasted." Amelia shot back, sounding offended.

"Can we trust your driving?" Alex said, causing all of us to burst out in laughter and Amelia to blush. She could be a little reckless at times, and it's my car so I would rather not.

We all stopped our laughing when the appetizer and our drinks were placed in front of us. The waitress pulled out her notepad, and asked what we would like to eat.

"10 medium wings, with a side of hot sauce." I was first to respond, since I've been wanting wings for a couple of days now.

"Can I get a T-bone steak with a loaded baked potato and a side of sautéed mushrooms?" Alex ordered next, as the lady wrote it down I look to Amelia who had a mouthful of the chips and dip, and looked as if she had been starving by how many and how fast she ate them. Especially since no one else has touched them yet.

"I want a double cheeseburger with lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, and onions. I would also like a side of fries." Maggie quickly ordered.

We all looked to Amelia, who still had a mouth full of food. She started talking and some food fell out her mouth onto her lap. She decided to wait till she was finished eating. "I would like the 10-wing platter, medium, with a side of mac & cheese."

"Sure. You know the platter comes with fries, right?" The waitress asked, probably not wanting to mess up our order.

"Ooooh, can you make those cheesy fries with bacon pieces on top?" Amelia asked while licking her lips.

"Yes, I can do that for you. Can I have the menus?" We all passed her the menus and she left.

We now all were eating the chips and dip, and Amelia was still stuffing her face like no tomorrow. Alex gave me look like he suspected something, but I just shrugged my shoulders, not really sure if she was ready to tell everyone.

"So, did I tell you guys what happened the other day?" Maggie said it loud it enough to get all of our attentions. I shook my head, not remembering her telling me anything out of the ordinary recently. "Well, after the hospital blew up, that next morning I was in the ER, and April said that she knows Jackson, and that he has feelings for me. I tried to say he doesn't, but she cut me off and told me that I probably felt that way toy." Maggie paused, waiting for a response.

Alex started laughing, and I joined him once I realized what he was laughing at. Amelia looked confused so just kept eating the chips. "What is so funny guys?" Maggie said, looking between me and Alex.

"That is not going to happen. April lost her freaking virginity to Jackson, and as far as we know, she hasn't been with anybody else. I mean, there was Mathew. They were waiting till they were married to have sex, but April left him at the alter for Jackson." Alex stated. I let out a little giggle, thinking back to the wedding and how shocked we all were. Amelia raised her eyebrows and let out a little laugh.

"I mean, he is definitely man candy, but he does have a young child" I giggled.

"Oh. Why the hell can't I find anyone good for me?" She said, taking a big sip of her margarita.

"You and DeLuca were pretty good together." I quickly stated, forgetting Alex was next to me and that was a sensitive subject for him still. I got the evil eye.

"She is right. You should go back to him and try and work things out, because you guys were definitely cute." Amelia spoke up.

"I will think about it guys. He did hurt me though. Anyway, what about you guys? Got any relationship problems you would like to spill?" Maggie looked to me and I just shrugged my shoulders. When she locked to Amelia, she just shoved another chip in her mouth.

"Well, Megan is coming home this weekend and is staying in our guest room. It is still awkward between me and Owen, and probably will only get worse once she come home. He hardly leaves her bedside, and he blames himself for her being missing that long. His mom is also going to stay at our house, I'm not sure where yet." Amelia sighed.

"I'm sure Megan is nice once you get to know her, and as she gets better it won't be so bad," Maggie added.

"Maybe. I hope so. I really don't want any more tension in the house as I just started staying there again."

"At least you guys are talking. Jo and I don't talk. We just see each other and don't say anything 'cause neither of us know what to say. We both avoid be put on cases together. I want us to be us again and be happy." Alex told us before taking a big gulp of his beer.

"Why don't you instead of avoiding her, try talking to her and see if you guys can kinda start over?" Amelia suggested.

"I mean, I could I guess. It probably would be better than avoiding each other/ But what if she doesn't want to, I don't want to lose her!" Alex raised his voice a little at the end, but got quiet when he realized people were now staring at our table.

"You won't lose her. You had a very similar childhood and have both survived this long. It might take longer to get through this fight." I added, trying to be hopeful for him since he seems to have lost all hope. I don't know if he could survive another one leaving or going crazy on him.

"But it's not a fight. We just aren't talking."

"Sounds like a fight to me." Amelia stated before taking a sip of her drink and looking at the rest of us. "So uh, Mer. We all have spilled our guts about our relationships, what about you?"

I looked over to Alex and he just shrugged his shoulders. What do I tell them? That Nathan broke up with me yesterday and I have been avoiding thinking about it? The three of them look at me, waiting for me to spill. "I, uh, we um, we broke up yesterday." Instantly their looks changed from eagerness to pity.

"I'm so sorry Mer. Are you okay?" Maggie quickly asked.

"I'm fine. Just trying to process it. And I have been thinking a little bit about what happened, or what was going to happen." I realized after I said that last part, that it probably wasn't the best idea. Amelia and Maggie raised their eyebrows, wanting to know what I meant. "After he told me that he was breaking up with me, he pulled me close to him. I could feel his breath, and we almost kissed, but I pushed him away. I just wonder where it would have gone, I mean we were in an on-call room."

"Oh. Well other than that, how do you feel?" Before I could answer, our food was being placed in front of us. Everyone except me got their food.

"Um, excuse me miss. I didn't get my food."

She quickly looked at the table and realized she forgot my food. "I'll go check on that right now.' She said and scurried away. I took a sip of my tea, and just hoped it wouldn't be long as I am starving. I just watched everyone eat while I waited. Amelia inhaled her wings, and by time I got my food, she was half way finished, which was about five minutes later.

"Hungry much?" I asked before taking a bite out of one of my wings. She glared at me, obviously not ready to tell anyone about her pregnancy. I don't even think she has told Owen yet.

By the time we were all finished eating, the waitress came by to collect the dishes and trash and asked us if we would like any dessert. Amelia immediately spoke up, saying she wanted a hot fudge brownie with vanilla ice cream.

I looked to the others. "I want my own, what about you guys?"

Maggie and Alex exchanged looks before agreeing that they would share one.

"I guess that means we would like three hot fudge brownies with vanilla ice cream." I told the waitress.

"Alright, I will put that order in and it should be done in about five minutes." We waited till she walked away before talking.

"I'm paying, who is leaving the tip?" Alex asked. The three of us looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders.

"I'll do it I guess, let me check if I have any cash." I quickly grab my purse and dig through it till I find my cash. BY the time I found it, our desserts were being brought to us. I thanked the waitress and asked her to bring us the check. We all enjoyed our dessert, with prego Amelia finishing first. Both Maggie and Alex kept giving questionable glances, knowing something was up.

* * *

It wasn't long before we all were back in the car, on our way back to my house. Amelia sat behind me, and I saw her hand in the rearview mirror fly to cover her mouth.

"Eat too much there Amy?" Alex snickered.

"No, just car sick. And it's Amelia to you." She shot back. "Mer, do you think you could go a little faster, I really don't want to puke in your car. I could see Maggie shift herself as far away as she could from Amelia. Luckily, I was pulling into the driveway. Before I could even stop the car, Amelia jumped out and threw up in the yard.

I got out of the car and helped her to the porch. "At least it wasn't in my car, or you would have had to clean it up." I joked. I got my key out and as I unlocked the door an uneasy feeling came over me. Once in the house, I out my stuff down and darted to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet.

I went to the kitchen and washed off my face and to get a drink of water, but as soon as I entered Alex and Maggie raised their eyebrows at me. "I'm fine, I probably just ate too much." I quickly moved to the sink and rinsed my face, and grabbed me and Amelia a glass of water. We all sat on the living room couch and turned on Netflix to watch a movie. About 2 minutes into the movie, Maggie darted to the bathroom. Alex was last to throw up, about a half an hour into the movie. Whenever he came back into the room I made an obvious statement. "I think we got food poisoning guys."

"No kidding Mer.' Alex said and joined us back on the couch.

"I thought mine was just the pregnancy, but I guess not." Amelia stated, her eyes not leaving the TV.

"What?" Alex and Maggie said in unison.

"I'm pregnant guys. That is part of the reason I don't want to go home, Owen already has enough on his plate already." Amelia looked at me, causing the others to look at me.

"Why don't you look surprised?" Maggie quickly asked.

"Because I already knew." I said softly.

Maggie looked to Amelia with sad eyes. "You told Mer and not me?" She sounded disappointed.

"She wasn't supposed to know. She accidently found out." Amelia answered.

"Oh. Well congratulations!" Maggie got up and gave Amelia a big hug. The hug lasted about two seconds before Maggie was running to the bathroom.

"Well, this is going to be fun tonight." I giggled.

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 **This was kinda a filler chapter, but it sets up for more stuff later.**

 **Reviews make me very happy :)**


	6. Didn't See You There

**Sorry this update took so long, but enjoy :)**

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Leaning against the nurse's station, I grab one of the tablets to update my patients chart and to add notes. I put the tablet down, and shoved my hand in my right pocket of my lab coat, hoping to find a snack before my next surgery, which was in 45 minutes. I felt around the pocket and felt two wrappers, both from the candy I ate earlier. I am hungry, I just need something to snack on before I can make it to the cafeteria. I spun around to head towards the vending machine down the hall, but I don't even take a step before I see him.

He was not in scrubs, rather jeans, and a shirt. I know he is off, he took off a week or so to be with Megan. Right now he was pacing up and down the hall, with a limp as he didn't have his crutches, not noticing me at the nurses station staring at him. He continued walking, and every time he passed a certain room, he would peer into quickly before returning walking down the hall and looking at his shoes. I watched for a minute, wondering if he was going to stop. I pull out my phone to look at the date. Saturday. Megan was supposed to come home today, I wonder if something happened.

They had decided to keep her at Madigon until they released her, wanting her to adjust to having family around and not have to adjust to a new hospital and staff. They also wanted to do a psych evalve, to make sure she was even okay enough to leave the hospital. She did fine from what I heard.

jumped and whipped my head around when someone touched my shoulder. "Don't just stare, or the rest of the nurses are gonna start talking. Go talk to him." One of the nicer nurses, Jamie, said.

"Thank you." I gave her a soft smile and handed her the tablet before taking a deep breath.

I am a strong person, I can do this, I thought to myself. We are eventually going to have to talk, maybe we will get stuck on a case together or just run into each other. We work at the same hospital and we both are surgeons. It might be awkward at first, but everyone says I'm all "dark and twisty", and I could help people going through hard stuff. I mean, I have been through a lot. My mom, Susan, George, Lexie, Mark, and Derek all have died. Izzie, Callie, Cristina have all left. I've survived a bomb, drowning, a gunman, a plane crash, giving birth in a superstorm, and a patient attack. I think I can talk to an ex and help him through the trauma he is going through. The question is, how do I start the conversation?

I walk toward him, as he is walking the other way. He suddenly turns around, running right into me a knocking me down. I caught myself with my hands, but my left wrist immediately begins to hurt, seeing as it caught most of my weight.

"Meredith?" He asked, pulled out of his daze by me saying "ow".

"Yeah, uh, hi." I respond, still on my butt and holding my left wrist in my right hand.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" He questions.

"Fine." I respond, clenching my teeth not wanting him to know that he hurt me.

"Want a hand up?" He asks, sounding unsure of what to do in this situation.

"Uh, yeah that would be nice." I let out a giggle as I grab his hand and he yanks me up to my feet.

We stand there awkwardly for a moment, till he looks down and notices me holding my wrist. "Meredith, seriously. Did I hurt your wrist?"

We lock eyes for a moment, and I almost get lost in his icy blue eyes. I quickly look down to my feet, not sure what to say.

"Meredith, your wrist is swelling up and bruising already. We need to get you an x-ray to make you didn't break or fracture your wrist." He said in a worried tone.

"I'm fine." I assure him. A tear falls down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away, hoping he doesn't notice.

"Well I'd rather be safe than sorry, so you are getting that x-ray." He puts his hand on the small of back and begins to lead me toward the nurse's station. Whatever he was pacing about he seemed to forget about as we walked toward the nurse's station. Whenever we got to the nurse's station, a few of them gave us some confused looks.

I saw Nurse Jamie walking this way, with a concerned look on her face. "Meredith what happened? Are you okay?" She quickly asked.

"Uh, I'm fine. Page Wilson, she is our best resident and she spent some time on ortho." I leaned up against the nurse's station, hoping Nathan would leave me be now but instead he stayed right where he was and his hand stayed on my back, like he was protecting me. Did he feel bad that he couldn't protect Megan and feel the need to protect me?

"I'll page her right away." Jamie said, still watching me knowing I wasn't okay.

"Nathan, you can go now. Wilson can take care of me." I said softly, barley loud enough for him to hear.

"No. I hurt you. I'm staying right here." He whispered back. I swallowed hard, because it sounded like he wasn't just staying because he hurt my wrist. He probably didn't mean it that way anyways. I'm just crazy and I miss him.

We stood there for a minute or two in silence, until we saw Wilson walking up to us. "Dr. Grey you paged?" She asked, then raised an eyebrow noticing how close Nathan was to me.

"Yes she did, she fell and hurt her wrist. She says she is fine but I think she should get an x-ray to be sure." Nathan answered before I had the chance to talk for myself.

Wilson looked toward my hand, that was definitely swollen and starting to bruise. "I, uh, why didn't you page ortho?"

"Well, you spent a bunch of time on ortho, you are our best resident, and I didn't want to busy an attending for nothing." I glared at Nathan. "It's just probably bruised, but he wanted to get a scan to be sure."

She blushed a little at the "best resident" part. She took my hand to look at it closely. I winced when she applied so pressure. "Well, I will say that you do look like you need a scan." She gave me a reassuring smile and gestured me to follow her to x-ray. Of course, Nathan wouldn't leave my side. He was still in a boot for his broken leg and hobbled a little, so we ended up getting there a few minutes after Wilson.

* * *

After the x-ray, Wilson said to go wait in an exam room while she looked over the scans. Nathan was still by my side as we walked toward the exam room she told us to go to. As I was walking to sit on the table, I stumbled a little, and grabbed Nathan's arm to steady myself. He furrowed his brows but helped me to get onto the table.

I soon as I sat down, I felt his eyes on me. "Mer, seriously are you okay? You look a little pale."

"I, uh, am a little dizzy." I whispered back.

"Did you hit your head?" He fired back at me, getting a little frustrated.

"No, no. I had got food poisoning at lunch yesterday and haven't really eaten anything today. My blood sugar is probably low and the last time I threw up was this morning. Maggie and Alex are both fine now, just me and Amelia were still throwing up this morning."

"Are you sure it's just food poisoning? You should do a blood test to sure."

"A blood test won't be necessary. I know my body, and I know I am fine." I said in an annoyed tone.

"Then why did you come in to work?" He questioned, growing concerned.

"Webber had the day off, and Bailey pushed off her patients on me because of the the fire. She has had a lot of paperwork to catch up on and plenty of meetings discussing what happened and how to prevent it and stuff like that."

"Still, you shouldn't have came in if you were sick." He stated. He took his hand and felt my forehead. "Well, you don't have a temperature, you still feeling nauseous?"

"Nope. I'm fine, just like I told you. I just haven't eaten thing all day and should probably do that." I smiled to make him more convinced I was fine.

"Well, after we find out about your wrist do you want to go to the cafeteria and grab some lunch?" He asked softly, sounding unsure if it was okay.

"Sure." I gave him a reassuring smile.

Just as I was about to say something else, Wilson came through the door with my scans and a smile on her face. "Meredith, you are lucky. It's not fractured or broken. But you will have to abstain from surgeries for a couple days, depending how fast it heals. It's sprain so I just want to wrap it a little, and to also make you less tempted to use it till it heals."

"Oh, that's good. Wilson, I'll wrap her wrist, so you can actually go and learn something." Nathan smiled to her. I just looked up at him, unsure why he still wouldn't leave me.

"Alright, then. Here is the wrap, you do remember how to do it right?" She asked jokingly.

"Of course." He smiled back. She quickly left the room, leaving the two of us alone again.

As he started to unwrap the wrap, I decided to question him. "So, I saw you pacing for several minutes and looking into a patients room. Is there something going on?"

He stopped for a moment and looked at me. "It is uh," He paused, "Megan's room." He bit his bottom lip and started to wrap my wrist.

"Megan?" Is all I say, not wanting to bring up a hard subject if he doesn't want to.

He stopped wrapping my wrist once again, and looked to the floor. "Megan was going to be released today. She supposed to go home." His voice broke on the word "home", and I just reached out to touch his arm reassuringly with my right hand.

"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. It alright." I whispered.

He looked up at me, and into my eyes. I bit my lip to stop myself from thinking about jumping him right here. He needed someone to talk to, not sex. That would only make things way more confusing and messy.

"She uh, had a really bad PTSD attack. Really bad. Someone dropped a food tray in her room, her last food tray, and it scared her. She locked herself in the bathroom and wouldn't let anyone in. Once they got the door open, she threw everything she could find at them. She also broke the mirror in the bathroom, and went after them with the pieces of broken glass. She kicked, punched, and screamed. They had to sedate her, and decided it was best not to send her home just yet. She got a bunch of cuts and bruises. They want re-evaluate her mental status before sending her home. Owen wanted her closer to home, so she was brought here. Right now, she isn't in psych, but she could end up there by the end of the day." A tear fell down his face as he finished talking. He clipped the wrap so it would stay on and took a step back.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" I asked, and tried to read his face. I couldn't tell if he was upset, angry or what.

"I'll be fine once she is better." He responded, now sitting in one of the chairs.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, until I was paged to the ER for a consult. Some how Nathan ended up with my phone, and read aloud that it wasn't emergent. He got up and walked toward me before I could get off the table. He smirked a little, and I could tell his mood changed.

He looked at my wrist, and took my hand in his. "Now, be careful. This is the best wrapping of a wrist that I have done." He smirked again.

"No, I think I'm going to walk on hands to my consult." I responded sarcastically.

"Well, you better get going, don't want to be late." He smiled, and let go of my hand to help me down. He pulled me close to him and kissed my forehead. I immediately pulled away and gave him a confused look.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"Well, they say if you kiss something it will make it better." He smiled. I missed the flirty side of him, but now wasn't the best time to be all flirty with what's going on with Megan.

"Well, you are supposed to kiss the spot that is hurt." I smile and slapped his arm, flirting anyways.

He leaned in right next to my ear, so close I could feel his breath on my neck. It gave me goosebumps. "There are so many other places I'd rather kiss." He quickly spun around and left the room. Leaving me with my mouth open, and even more confused about our relationship.

After a minute or so of just standing there, I decide to go to Bailey's office and tell her that I will have to push all of my surgeries unless she wants to take them. I knock softly on her door, and hear her respond with a "come in."

Without looking up from the papers she was reading she said "What Grey?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I am pushing all of my surgeries back because I sprained my wrist."

She looked up and I could instantly read her face. She was giving me a "what happened" look.

"I fell and landed on my wrist. I just wanted to let you know." I said softly.

"You did this in the hospital didn't you?" She quickly asked. I just nodded, not sure where she was going with this. "Oh Grey, you are filling out the accident report, not me. I've got enough paperwork." She smiled, and quickly looked through her drawer for a piece of paper before handing it to me. "Bring this back to me by the end of the day, and you can take the rest of the day and tomorrow off." She said before shoeing me out of her office. With the paper in my hand, I ran to the nearest bathroom. I just looked in the mirror at myself, and wondered, did this day really happen, or was I dreaming? I turned on the water and splashed some cold water in my face. I looked back up at the mirror.

No, I am not dreaming.

* * *

 **Reviews make me happy :)**


	7. It's Official

**Thank you guys for the nice reviews :)**

* * *

I opened my eyes slowly to the sound of my alarm. I reached to the left of me only to hit a wall. It took me a moment to realize I wasn't in my bed. I blinked a few times, trying to gather my surroundings. I notice that I am in an on-call room, and it's not an alarm going off, it's my phone ringing. I sleepily grab it and say hello.

"Meredith?" I hear the familiar accent on the other line.

"Nathan?"

"Um, you said we were going to meet up in cafeteria at one thirty for lunch. It's two o'clock now, did you bail on me?" I forgot that I said we should have lunch and talk. We were going to have lunch the other day when I hurt my wrist but something came up with Megan, and Zola got the flu. That was about five days ago, and I had texted him last night wondering if he still wanted to grab lunch.

"Oh crap. I overslept. I'll be there in five." I get off the bed and grab my lab coat and quickly shrugged it on.  
"Alright. See you soon." He said before hanging up.

I walked to the bathroom first, as I had to pee and wanted to straighten up my hair a little before I headed down to the cafeteria. I looked in the mirror, and saw a very tired looking woman staring back at me. I splashed some chilly water on my face, waking me up. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, seeing as I have bed head. I took a deep breath in and out. I could do this.

I jumped when a dark-haired woman came flying into the bathroom and into one of the stalls. After a moment, I heard a faint "I'm alright" before Amelia emerged from the stall.

"Morning sickness still?"

"Yeah, and it sucks." She replied and she rinsed her face and hands. "I feel like Owen is gonna guess it before I find a way of telling him." I just looked at her, assuming she already told him. "Things still have been tough because of Megan. I'm waiting for the right time." She said before leaving the bathroom. I followed her, both heading to the elevators.

"What floor?" She asked once we got on.

"Cafeteria."

"You meeting up with someone or are you eating alone? 'Cause I'm done for some food." She smirked at me.

I laughed a little. "Of course you are hungry, you are probably hungry all the time. But yes, I am meeting with someone."

"Basically and who? Riggs?" She questioned. I just nodded my head, not really wanting to get into the details of what was going on between us. "Well, I'll leave you guys to it." Amelia said as I got off and headed toward the cafeteria.

I spotted Nathan almost immediately, but decided to grab my food first. I quickly just grab a salad and drink and join Nathan at the table. I give him a soft smile once I sit down, knowing that this was going to be awkward.

"So uh, how have you been?" She asked before pulling out his sandwich.

I honestly did know how to answer that. So many things were going on right now. I just took a bite of my salad and said, "Fine."

He raised an eyebrow. "You are fine? What is that your favorite word?"

I laughed a little, which made him smile. "I guess so, I always seem to say it."

We sat and ate in silence for a few minutes before I caught a whiff of his sandwich. It smells disgusting, and is making me a little nauseous. "What kind of sandwich you got there?"

"A tuna sandwich. What do you want some?" He asked jokingly.

"Uh, no. It smells really disgusting." I giggled, once again causing him to smile. "But anyways, how are you?"

He took another bite before answering. "Alright. Some days are better than others. I just wish she could get better, it sucks seeing her like this. I miss the upbeat, always laughing and joking, playing pranks and friendly Megan. It just hard, it's like she is a whole different person."

"I'm sorry, I really do hope she gets better." I say while putting my hand on his, before awkwardly pulling it way and putting it in my lap. I bit my lip, and met my eyes with his. I could sometimes read him. Right now, you could see sadness in those icy blue eyes. That was about it.

"Yeah me too. We still haven't discussed our relationship, and I'm not sure how to do it. I feel like if I bring it up she will begin hating me again."

"She won't hate you. You are harder to hate than you think. Remember I tried it once, and it didn't last." I smiled.

He smiled a little, and then went back to the upset face. "Meredith." He waited till I looked at him before saying anything. "I'm sorry you are in this situation. I will always care about you, know matter what."

"I know." Was all I could reply. I was still a little hurt over the situation, but I know there is nothing I could do about it.

"We can still be friends, right?" I sighed, and nodded my head.

"Of course." I replied before we returned to eating in silence.

After a while, I decided to talk again. "So, uh, had you and Megan ever talk about kids?"

"Yeah, a little bit but-" He was cut of by my pager going off, from Alex.

"I gotta go, sorry." He nodded his head, knowing the life of a surgeon. I threw away my trash and headed to the peds floor. A few minutes later, I found Alex at the nurse's station.

Out of breath, I said, "You paged 911?"

He turned around and started laughing at me. "I didn't page 911, and you are so out of breath that it's funny. Anyways, I wanted to know if you would scrub in on a kidney transplant with me, seeing as we never do surgeries together anymore."

"Oh. Of course. Where's the chart so I can get familiar?" He handed me a tablet with the chart pulled up.

"The surgery is at 3, so you don't have long, but you should be fine." He said before walking off. I put the tablet down and sighed, not really in the mood for reading through a chart.

I just walked down the hall for a minute, before seeing Nathan. Something came over me, I'm not quite sure what it was. I bit my lip and pulled him into the on-call room. As soon as the door shut, I put my lips on his, and pushed him up against the door. He was hesitant at first, but eventually started to kiss me back. I wasn't sure what I was doing, although at this moment, I knew I wanted him. It wasn't long before our tongues were fighting for dominance, and my hands were exploring, just as his were. My hands found the bottom of is his shirt and started to pull on it before he pushed me away.

"Meredith, we can't be doing this. I said friends, not friends with benefits." He said sternly. I pursed my lips, unsure why I just did what I did.

"I-I..." I trailed off, having no explanation as to why I wanted him in that moment. He raised an eyebrow, but I still didn't know what to say. "I-I gotta go. I have a surgery." I said as I pushed past him and rushed out the door toward the scrub rooms. I put my fingers to my lips, remembering what just happened. I got to the scrub room and started to scrub in, not long before Alex joined me.

"You okay Mer? you look like you have seen a ghost." He stated as he put his mask on.

"I, uh, I'm not sure what just happened." I stuttered.

"What do you mean you are 'not sure what just happened'?" He asked, as a concerned look came over his face.

"I just jumped Nathan in an on call room, and I don't know why." I whispered, somewhat embarrassed.

"You had sex with him? I thought y'all were broken up?" He questioned.

"Um, we are broken up. It was just a kiss, he didn't let it go any farther, even though I wanted too. I don't know what came over me, I probably looked pathetic and desperate. Ugh."

"You probably just miss him, it's okay. Now it's time to save this little boy's life, so go get that kidney and I'll get started on the boy." Alex said before walking out of the scrub room to a different scrub room.

I just let out a sigh before walking through the threshold of the OR. The nurse's move to help me into gown and gloves, and then I'm standing by the table. "Scalpel."

* * *

Alex came in the OR to check on progress right as the brother started to flatline. Everyone was shuffling around, getting set to shock him and bring him back. I was doing compressions, and Alex was dealing with the defibrillator. He started toward the patient with the paddles so I moved my hands. "Clear!" He yelled, and a thump was soon followed as the electricity followed through this kids body. The was still no rhythm. I began compressions again, and Alex yelled "Charge to 200! Clear!" I once again moved quickly, and heard a thump then a consistent heartbeat on the monitor a few seconds later. I was out of breath, and not feeling well. Alex could see it in my face.

"Somebody grab my mask!" I said, and within seconds a nurse was pulling the mask of my face. She didn't move in time, I puked right on her shoes. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I immediately felt really bad, but she didn't say anything. She just grabbed a towel and helped wipe my face. "Alex, I think you are going to need to take over." I stated before she helped me out of the OR and into a chair in the scrub room.

"Are you alright honey?" She quickly asked while helping take of my gown and gloves that had some puke on it. I just nodded my head. "Let me get you some water, you stay right here." She walked out of the scrub room, leaving me to sit there alone.

I sat there for a minute before Nathan bursts through the door, scaring the crap out of me. "Meredith, I heard what happened. Are you okay?"

I bit my lip, thinking about how we had last seen each other and how awkward it was. "Yeah, Zola has got the flu, she probably gave it to me." I just look to floor, not really wanting to talk to him right now. He put his hand on my forehead, and grabbed my wrist to get my pulse.

"You don't seem to have a fever but your pulse is a little high, so you need to rest." He smiled, and I remembered how bossy I was when he was hurt, but I still am though.

I mouthed thank you and just looked back down at the floor. A couple seconds later, Alex came through the door with a worried expression. "You alright Mer?"

"I'm fine. You have a patient to take care of."

"I got Bailey to take over for me. I'm going to take you home so you can get some rest, okay?" He said in more of a way that he was going to do rather than asking. I looked to Nathan, who was awkwardly standing there.

"I'm fine. You can go back to Megan now." I say as I get up and walk past him toward the door. It wasn't long before me and Alex both were in our street clothes and heading to the parking lot.

"Give me your keys." He demanded.

"No."

"I'm driving, I don't want you to get sick again and then kill us." He stated.

"Fine, but you are going to have to get me a strawberry, banana and mango smoothie. Don't forget the mango." I was craving some mango, so why not get a smoothie? He raised an eyebrow, but grabbed my keys from me anyways.

It wasn't long before we were both back at the house and sitting on the couch in silence. "I want some pizza, do you want some pizza?" I ask, seeing as I was starving.

"Sure, I'll order it." He said before picking up his phone to call the nearest pizza place. He got us a large pizza and some bread sticks. We sat there and waited for the pizza to come, and when the doorbell rang Alex jumped up and ran to the door. "Mer, it's for you!" He yelled. I groaned and got up and headed toward the door, and to my surprise it was Nathan.

"Um hi." I said before stepping outside to talk privately.

"I wanted to talk about earlier."

"Oh." Was all I could reply, not knowing what came over me.

"Are you okay with us just being friends?" He asked.

"Yes, of course. I wouldn't have it any other way." I said optimistically.

"I was just wondering then why you jumped me." He said, rocking back and forth on his toes.

"I don't know honestly. I think I just miss you." I bit my lip and looked to my shoes, scared of where this conversation was going.

"Meredith, it's okay." He reached out and put his hand on my arm. "I miss you too. But now isn't the time."

"I know." I shivered at feeling of his skin touching mine. I saw another car pool up, and I knew this time it was the pizza guy. "Alright, my pizza is here. I gotta go."

"Bye Mer." He let go of my arm.

I leaned in and kissed his check before he turned around. It was very stubbly but I didn't care. "Bye Nathan." He turned and left, and I soon got my pizza and brought into the kitchen.

Alex and I are in silence, but he watched me very closely. I ate 3 and half pieces of pizza and two bread sticks. I left Alex in the kitchen and headed up to the bathroom to wash my face and pee.

When I came out of the bathroom, Alex was sitting on the edge of my bed, giving me that 'we need to talk look.' I sat next to him and sighed, not sure what he was going to say.

"Mer..." He trailed off.

"What?"

"Mer are you..." He trailed off again, obviously not really wanting to ask that question.

"Alex." Was all I could say back. I knew what he was asking, and I was pretty sure I knew the answer. I knew he would pick up on it eventually, but had it been that obvious?

"Alex, I know my body."

"So you are?" I just nodded my head.

"I haven't taken an official test, but I already know the answer." I let out a sob. I got up and walked into the bathroom, and cam back carrying a stick. I knew, but I couldn't look at it. I just couldn't. I handed it to Alex and he just looked up at me. "I am, aren't I?"

He let out a little laugh, and I just looked at him funny. "It hasn't came up yet Mer."

"Oh." I let out a little laugh and sat on the bed next to him. We sat there for another minute before I saw Alex's face change. I looked over and saw two lines. Well, it wasn't official until now. I fell back on the bed, and just laid there. After a minute I got up and started pacing back and forth.

"Mer, are you okay?" Alex quickly sat up and asked.

"How? How did this happen? I though we were careful!" I said, just as the tears started falling.

"Mer, you are going to be okay. There are options you know." I just looked at him. I couldn't do that. "Do you have any idea how far along you are?"

That's when it hit me. "8 weeks."

"Are you sure? That was awhile ago."

"The only times we were careful was the first time and the plane. The plane was 8 weeks ago." I said as another tear fell down my cheek.

"Oh. Well do you even know if he wants kids?" He asked.

"I don't know, by I'm going to find out before I make any decisions." I sat back down on the bed next to Alex.

"You have to tell him." Alex said, stating the obvious.

"I'll find out tomorrow if he even wants kids. Then I will decide whether I want to tell him or not."

* * *

 **Well, that was one hell of a chapter. I really enjoyed writing it. Shout out to Kiwiflea for guessing it! I had been dropping very subtle hints over the last few chapters. Anyways, the drama has just begun, seeing as Teddy will be back next chapter. Also, do you guys think Mer will tell Nathan?**


	8. Peanut & The Affair

Glad y'all liked last chapter :)

* * *

As soon as I opened my eyes I jumped out of bed and darted to the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet. After a minute, I felt someone pulling my hair out of face. I look up to see Alex with a concerned look on his face. He had stayed the night to make sure I was alright and to go with me to my appointment. I went to the sink and washed my hands and rinsed my face.

When I walk back to the bedroom, I find Alex sitting in the same spot he was last night. "Mer."

"What?" I say as I dig through my drawers for something to wear.

"You have to tell him."

"Alex, I know this. I'll tell him when I am ready." I turned around and just looked at him.

He looked me up and down, causing me to scrunch up my eyebrows at him. "Mer, it's starting to get obvious. The constant puking, always hungry, you've got the pregnant glow, and your boobs have gotten bigger." I just look at myself in the mirror, now noticing what he just pointed out.

"And it won't be long till my stomach starts to show." I stated the obvious. "Go get ready. We got to be at Seattle Pres by 8:30." Alex leaves me alone in my room to go get ready. I let my hand fall to my stomach, and just let it rest there. I started to remember what it was like during my other pregnancies. With Bailey, I had Derek to help me through everything. Ellis on the other hand, I did that one alone. I was not going to go through another pregnancy alone. I have to tell him before he guesses it himself. I quickly throw on some jeans and shirt and make my way down stairs. I say hi to the kids and give them all a kiss before I slip out the door to my car.

* * *

Laying on the exam room table I just glance around to see how much the two hospitals are alike. My thoughts were interrupted when the OB came in. "Hi, I'm doctor Johnson, I'll be your OB today."

"Hi." Is all I respond, seeing as I just want to get this over with.

I see her glance over to Alex who was standing right beside me. "Are you the husband?"

I look over to Alex. "No, just friends. The father doesn't know yet, he is going through some stuff right now." I don't give Alex a chance to answer.

"Well okay then. Lift up your shirt and I'm going to put the jelly on your stomach but it might be a little cold." As I raise my shirt up, she notices my scars. You could tell by the look on her face. "Well, by the C, I can tell you have done this at least once before." She squirts the jelly on my stomach and I flinch a little at how cold it is.

"Uh, yeah. I've had two C's." I say as I look at the ceiling.

"From what I can see, you have survived a lot. You have three other surgery scars." She stated the obvious.

"Yep." I feel Alex grab ahold of my hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. After a couple seconds of her moving the wand around on my belly, the heart beat can be heard. Whoosh, Whoosh, whoosh is all I hear but I know it's a strong heartbeat.

"You look to be about 7 and half to about 8 weeks along." She wipes off the jelly with a towel and I sit up.

"I know I am high risk. Should I schedule regular check-ups?"

"Yes, if you know you are high risk that would be an excellent idea." She hands me this picture of the ultrasound. "I have more patients to see, you guys are good to go."

"It looks like a peanut." Alex laughed. I punched him in the arm, but not hard.

"Don't say that about my child." I joke back, since it does look something like a peanut.

"I guess I will have to start to like Nathan now." He smirked at me.

"Yes, you should. He is really nice." I smile back.

Alex scoffed. "Nice enough to get you pregnant and leave you." Alex swiftly walks out of the room, and I quickly shove the picture in my purse and run to catch up to him.

"He doesn't know so I can't blame him for that. I just feel like once I tell him he is going to obligated to come back to me. Not because he wants to, but because we are having a child." I sigh, still not sure how to tell him. With Bailey, I bought Zola a shirt and Ellis, well Derek was dead so there was no way I could tell him. That's something I wish could change. I wish he could have at least known I was pregnant, and maybe things would be different. He might still be alive. But that doesn't matter now, seeing as I can't change it.

On the way to the hospital there is just silence. Once we get there, we part ways and I head to the attending's lounge. I barge in, not thinking anyone was in there. Instead I scare two people that were standing there talking and they both turn to face me. I'm at a loss for words at who I see.

Nathan quickly hobbles over to me, puts a hand on my back and leads me to her. "Meredith, this is Teddy-"

"Altman." I quickly cut him off, confused why she was here.

The look on Nathan's face was priceless as he looked between the two of us. "You two know each other?"

"Yep." We both say.

"Well..." He trailed off for a moment to think about what to say. "Teddy, what I was going to say is I would like you to meet my friend, Meredith." Teddy had a big grin on her face, and let out a little laugh. I guess it was obvious that we were more than friends at some point.

"So, you and McDreamy broke up?" She asks.

"Mc what?" Nathan asks, and the room fell to awkward silence for a moment.

I just look to floor, then back up at Teddy. "Derek died two years ago, MVC accident. They didn't get him a CT, so he was brain dead by time they realized something was wrong."

Her face immediately changed to pity. "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. How is Zola taking it?"

"Pretty well, with the help of Bailey." I smile remembering the two of them together when I told them, and how they comforted each other.

"Bailey, what has she got to do with anything?" Teddy said as she sat down.

"No, my son Bailey. He was born about a year after the plane crash." I sat down next to her, and Nathan sat down in one of the chairs nearby.

"Oh so you did finally get pregnant?" She smiled.

"Finally?" Nathan butted in.

"Yes, twice actually. My youngest, my daughter Ellis was actually born after Derek died, unfortunately." I completely ignored Nathan, not really wanting to go into hat right now.

"Meredith was struggling to conceive." Teddy answered for me. Too late. Now I have to explain.

"We tried for like two years and no luck. Even on fertility drugs." I quickly added. Nathan just looks between the two of us. He opened his mouth to say something but Teddy interrupted him.

"Oh. Where is Cristina? Is she the Cardio god she wanted to become?" Teddy questions.

"Did you keep in touch with anyone from Grey-Sloan the whole time you were gone?" I ask, not really in the mood to answer a bazillion questions. Especially about Cristina, since we haven't talked in a while. It started off talking almost every day, to once a week, and then once a month.

"I stayed in touch with Robbins for a couple months after the crash. Last I heard was about Mark dying and also Arizona losing her leg. One last question, Grey-Sloan Memorial, how did that happen?"

"After the plane crash, we sued the hospital and got 15 million each. We basically bankrupted the place, so they were going to shut it down. We ended up buying it back with the help of the Harper-Avery foundation." Out of the corner of my eye, I see Nathan open his mouth, at the 15 million part, probably 'cause he didn't know how I came to own part of the hospital. I hadn't told him, but I do remember him asking when we first met.

"Oh, well that's nice." She looked down at her watch. "Look, I gotta go, I am meeting Owen for coffee. Bye guys!" She skipped out of the room, leaving Nathan and I in here alone.

"Well, I learned a lot about you today that I didn't know." Nathan said as he came and sat next to me.

"Well I guess it's only fair if I learn a little more about you then." It came out dirtier than I had expected, seeing as this is the perfect time to ask if wants kids.

"Well, I am sure you can." He smirked, inching closer, but I stopped him.

"So, had you and Megan planned on having kids?"

He laid back against the cushion and stared at the ceiling. "Yes. I wanted one or two, and she wanted a house full. We were planning on starting in a couple months and then you know what I did. So, yeah, we had planned on having kids. I love kids." I sighed, knowing this was the easier part, finding out if he even wanted any.

I opened my mouth to tell him, but I decided against it. Megan was still recovering and he was visiting daily. I didn't want to mess with that. "Well, you would be surprised but I didn't really want kids for the longest time. I always thought I would be a bad mother, since my mother was a bad mom. Derek eventually convinced me to at least have one. I did get pregnant, but I had a miscarriage before I could tell Derek. I went to the OB, and they said I had a hostile uterus."

"Hostile?" He laughed.

"Yeah. I went on fertility drugs for a while, but we eventually had to stop them. Derek was treating Zola and thought we should adopt her. Then obviously I did get pregnant, twice. I never thought I would have three kids honestly." I say, and immediately begin thinking, in like 7 months there will be another one. The kids will be excited, they will love another sibling to play with.

"Do you ever see yourself having anymore?" This question took me by surprise. He was basically asking me if we would ever have kids. I bit my lip. I really, really wanted to tell him, but what if he didn't want it? What if he told me to "take care of it"? I swallowed anxiously, wanting to answer this question the right way.

"Um, maybe someday. With the right person, of course. I'm sure Zola and Bailey would love to another sibling, but I don't know. It would just depend on the circumstances."

He nods, and I assume that he is thinking about my answer. We sit there for a minute or two in the silence. "Yeah, if I were to have kids, I would want it to be with the right person. But how would we know if it is the right person or not?"

"Well, we probably won't know. I guess we will just have to trust our gut." I shrugged my shoulders. With Derek, it was obvious he was the one. But now, I'm not sure. I don't even know if I want more kids, seeing as three is a handful. "Do you think she will ever be the same person you once knew?"

Nathan eyes met mine, and just stayed there till he could answer. He looked away before replying. "No. I mean, I hope she does, but probably not. Just working out there changes a person, let alone being locked up in a basement for like 10 years. I just really want her to be more like her normal self ya know?" He choked back a sob. "I miss her. I really miss her. I sit here and just wonder, how I let all these years go by with her missing. I shouldn't have given up on her. Damn it, I shouldn't have even let her on that chopper!" He yelled, and a tear fell down his cheek. "I blame myself every day, Meredith. I shouldn't, but I do. It was my fault she got on the chopper. I didn't stop her. I should have stopped her. I should have never cheated in the first place, and maybe we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. Or maybe I should have kept looking, and I could have found her sooner. Maybe she would be more like her normal self if I had, but I just gave up. I thought she was dead. I really did." A few more tears fell down his face, and he just covered his face with his hands and sobbed. I didn't really know what to do. I felt awful that he put all the blame on himself.

I gently reached over and rubbed his arm. "Sshhh. It's okay. She is alive. She may not be the same person as when you last saw her but she is alive. That's what matters now, right?" He lets out another sob be nodding his head. "Make it up to her. Spend as much time as you can with her, show her that you care and that you are there for her. She will forgive you. I promise." I sat there for a few more minutes comforting him. Slowly his sobs calmed down and became a few stray tears. We sat there in the silence until I was paged.

"Hey. Look, I got to go take care of this patient but I'm serious about what I said. Be there for her, and she will forgive you." I smile softly before getting up. Nathan grabs my hand and spins me around to face him. He pulls me into a soft but friendly hug. I lightly drape my arms around him, with my hands on his back. His muscular arms are holding me close and tight, while his chin is rested on my shoulder. I enjoy the moment, and his warmth. I was about to pull away when he spoke up.

"Thank you, Mer. You didn't have to sit with me today, or give me all this advice." He whispers in my ear. I pull away, but he keeps his hands on my upper arms, keeping us very close to each other.

"I didn't have too, I know that. But I wanted too. It's not easy going through a trauma or a loss, but it is easier if you have some there who has been through one. They can help you through it and give you advice. That's what friends are for." I say, and my phone starts going off again. "Alright, I gotta go. Bye." I say before I speed walk out of the room and to the elevators. I press the button to go to the peds floor.

While I'm waiting to get there, I start to think about what has just happened. I planned on telling him, but now was definitely not a good time. Emotionally, he was a wreck. He did not need a child to make it worse. He is going to have to repair his relationship with Megan before I think he will be emotionally ready to know, but then it could be too late to make any decisions if he didn't want it. What if he wanted it but wanted to stay with Megan? Would he take me to court to fight for custody? The more I thought about it, the more anxious I got, thinking about all the possibilities that could play out. I was pulled out of my thoughts when the elevator dinged, signaling I was on the right floor. I find myself waiting outside a patient's room, patiently waiting for Alex to come out.

Once he came out, we went to an empty patient room to talk about our day.

"Did you tell him about the baby growing in your "hostile" uterus?" He inquired.

"N-No." I stammered. I feel really ashamed that I couldn't do it, but it was obviously not the right time.

"Meredith." He said with disappointment in his tone.

"I couldn't do it okay?" I whined. "I just couldn't."

"Okay." Was all he replied. What else could he say? He didn't know what had happened, and I definitely didn't feel like explaining that one. After a while, he spoke up. "I heard there are donuts in the conference room. Want some cheer me up donuts?"

"Of course." I giggled, as heard a humongous growl come from my stomach. "I guess little baby peanut is hungry too. You want some donuts?" I ask as I touch my stomach. Alex chuckles at me.

"Do you have to ask the baby that probably can't even hear yet?" He lets out another laugh.

"Shut up!" I shouted, and punched him lightly in the arm. "Come on, lets go get us some donuts." I laughed as I pulled him out of the room and down the hall toward the conference room. I stop dead in my tracks when I see two familiar faces in the room through the blinds.

"What?" Alex blurts out after running into me. I move to the nurse's station and sit at one of the chairs, looking like I am on the computer. I can just barely see over it but can see what's going on in the room. "Mer, what's going on?" I put my finger to my mouth to get him to be quiet as I peer through the blinds. His hand is on hers. He could just be comforting her, but for what? Alex quickly notices what I am looking at and joins me as we discretely watch them through the blinds. I bit my lip like I always do when I am nervous as I watch them. I see his hand squeeze hers, and she smiles. The chairs they are sitting in are very close to each other. I watch as he puts a hand on her thigh and smiles. She gets up, and puts her lips on his. It lasts only a few seconds before he pushes her off and storms out of the room, clearly upset.

"Whoah, what just happened?" Alex reluctantly asks.

"I think we just found out who Nathan had the affair with." I choke back a sob. My hormones in full gear, it isn't long before I'm full out crying and Alex is leading me to an on-call room to calm down before people start to ask questions.

Once we are sitting on the bed, he pulls me into a comforting hug. "Mer, it's okay."

"It's not. He cheated on Megan, what if we do get back together and he cheats on me?" I ask, not really wanting an answer.

"Meredith, I'm doubtful he cheated on Megan with Altman. Teddy is one of Owen's friends, and she was in love with him at one point, remember?" I just nod, unsure of anything anymore.

* * *

oooooh the drama! Hope you guys enjoy the longer than usual chapter, and leave a review!


	9. Is It Happening Again?

**Sorry for the delay in the update, I had camp for 5 days and really bad writers block /**

 **Sorry if this looks wierd, my computer wasn't working so I tried it on my phone :)**

After sitting on the on-call room bed for several minutes, Alex finally got me to calm down.

"Look, Mer. We don't know what we saw. The only way we could know for sure is to talk to them. Okay?" Alex asked while still holding me in a tight hug, with my head resting against his chest.

I pull away and just gave him a look. How am I supposed to bring up a topic like that? _Oh hey, by the way I saw you and Teddy together. Is that who you cheated on Megan with?_ Uh, no. He seemed really upset earlier when we were talking about it, so not the best idea. I want him to be in a decent mood, so I can tell him about the baby. But, I also want to know if he cheated with Teddy.

"I want to know. I will feel rude for asking, but I want to know. I still need to tell him about Peanut also." Alex let out a laugh, for who knows what reason. "Why are you laughing?" I say, getting all defensive and crossing my arms.

"You are actually calling it peanut. It's funny, cause you got mad at me the first time I said it." He laughed again.

"Oh. Well, it does look like a peanut, so it seems fitting. At least until we know what the sex is, then we can start calling it "he" or "she"."

"Is there a preference?" He asks, and I am not sure what he means.

"What?"

"A preference of gender. Do you want a boy or a girl?"

"Oh. I don't know honestly. I haven't really thought about it." I pause to think what I would want. "A boy, so Bailey isn't the only boy. But a girl would be nice, seeing as I still have a lot of Ellis's baby clothes."

"True. For my first child, if I ever have one, I don't think I would care. As long as he or she is healthy, it wouldn't matter." I nodded, agreeing with him.

"Have you and Jo talked about babies recently?" I ask, knowing he has been here a lot for me the past couple days and we have talked a lot about my relationship, and not his.

"Maybe soon. We are still working everything out, but maybe soon. I hope."

"Well that's good." I smile, being happy for my person since he might finally be getting the family he has always wanted. We enjoy the silence, which is rudely interrupted within a few minutes by our pagers.

"ER 911, what about you?" I say as I scramble to get my lab coat and stethoscope.

"Yep. Better get down there." He says and we walk together down to the pit. When we get there, the ambulances have already arrived and multiple patients are being wheeled in to trauma rooms. I follow a gurney into trauma room one, and forcing a smile once I see who is in there.

"Dr. Grey, there is bleeding in the abdomen." Jo yelled over all the commotion. Nurses are shuffling around to give us what we ask for and the monitors are beeping like crazy.

As I move to examine the patient, I accidentally elbow him, causing him to give me a look. I shrug it off, knowing it was an accident. "Dr. Riggs, aren't you supposed to not be weight bearing on that leg of yours?"

"Well Dr. Grey, I can put some weight on it. Plus I still would like to operate, so I can pull up a chair, and from the looks of it, you and I are going to be in the OR together for at least a couple hours." He smirked, not even looking up from the patient.

I decide to completely ignore what he just said, and pretend he is a different surgeon. "Wilson, call up and make sure they have an OR ready. Okay guys, let's get ready to move!" We all shuffle around and begin our way to to the elevator. We go by the other trauma rooms, I peer through the window to see an obvious tired Alex. I see his mouth move, but can't hear him. But I knew exactly what he was saying. Time of death. He looked defeated and stomped out of there in enough time to see Riggs and I pushing this patient down the hall. He puts a hand on his stomach, and looks over a Riggs. He wanted me to tell him, I would just not in the OR.

I took a deep breath in, and let it out. I listened to the sound of the water running as I scrubbed in. I don't know why, but the sound of the water calmed me. Or it least it did till the sink next to me was being used, and I knew it wasn't Wilson by how big the arms were. I couldn't bring myself to look up at his face. It wasn't until we were in the OR, standing side by side.

"Scalpel." My favorite scrub nurse, Bohkee, hands me a scalpel and I begin my part of the surgery, with Wilson assisting.

I decided to make small talk, seeing as the OR was to quiet. "So, Riggs. How much longer you got in the boot?" I already knew, but small talk is better than nothing.

"Like 4 weeks. I can't wait honestly, it's annoying."

I smile, which you can't see under the mask. "Yeah, I know that feeling. Except I wasn't aloud to put weight on mine till it healed. Which really sucked, by the way."

"Wasn't that around the time when I first got here?"

"Yep." Much of that time I'd rather not remember.

"I knew after you went through that, that you are a very, very strong person." I blush a little, and Wilson looks up at me.

"Uh, thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome." We return back to what we are doing, in silence again. Nothing is really said till the three of us are scrubbing out.

"Uh, Wilson. Great job today. You can take a break. I'll page you when I need you." I smile, getting a smile in return from my exhausted resident.

"Thank you Doctor Grey." Wilson says, before leaving Nathan and I in the scrub room together.

"So, how well do you know Teddy? I mean, you guys seemed like you knew a lot about each other, and I didn't even know she worked here till after that conversation with the three of us." He questions.

I scoff. "How well do I know Teddy? Really? What about you? How well do you know Teddy?" I fired back.

"I don't know why you seem upset all of sudden, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, and I asked you a question. How well do you know Teddy?" I snatch a towel a begin drying my hands while I wait for his answer.

"We are friends..." He trails off.

"Friends hmm?" I put of the biggest fake smile I can. "Or more like friends with benefits?"

"W-what?"

"The conference room. You call that just friends?" I fire back at him, getting even more upset. I can feel the tears coming.

"You saw that?" He asked, his eyes getting wide.

"Phft, that's what I thought." I say as I brush by him and out of the scrub room. I dash down the hall, barely sliding into an elevator in time. I turn around to see Nathan following not far behind me, but didn't make to the elevator in time. I let out a sigh of relief as we head up to the peds floor.

I go to the nurses station and grab a tablet to update my patients chart while I wait for Alex.

Within a few minutes, Alex appears. "Hey, Mer."

"Hey. Rough day?" The look on his face said it all.

"Yeah. Lost two patients, and had to give another one bad news."

I hand the tablet to one of the nurses to put it up for me. I look down at my watch, and see my shift was going to over in a few minutes. "When is your shift over?"

"I've got an hour or two. Why?"

"I think I am going to go home, seeing as my shift is over, I miss my kids, and I am exhausted." I say, and let out a breath of air.

"Oh okay. I should be home later."

"Alright, I'm going to go get the kids from daycare." I smile, and head for the elevator. As I head to the attending's lounge to get changed, I just hope he isn't in there, seeing as I don't want to deal with that right now. I let out a sigh of relief when the lounge is empty. I quickly change into whatever I was wearing this morning and head for the door. I pick up the kids and head home.

Once we get through the door, I make the kids a quick dinner, and put them to bed seeing as it is late. Usually right about now, I would kick back and relax with a bottle of tequila. But because of little peanut, I can't for several months. As I am cleaning up the kitchen, I become a little nauseated.

"Peanut, seriously now?" I ask, putting a hand to my stomach. It comes in waves as I clean up the kitchen, only getting stronger and a little bit of pain coming with it.

I manage to hold it back, but decide I really should get a shower and sleep. After my shower, I feel a little better. I lay in bed on my side, and look to the side of the bed that is always empty. Gosh, I wish it was wasn't empty. I shrug it off, and turn off my light. As I drift of to sleep, I notice a small pain in my stomach but decide to ignore it.

I awake in severe pain in my stomach. I grab my phone to look at what time it is. 9:26. I have to pee, so I throw the blankets off of me, but before I can get up, I notice the pool of blood I am currently laying in. Immediately tears flood my eyes, as I realize what is happening. I grab my phone and call Alex.

"Alex?" I barley choke out.

"Mer, I'm at dinner with Jo. I'll call you later. Okay?"

"Alex, wait." I cry out this time, barley able to hold myself together.

"Mer? Are you okay?" He voice changes to concern when he hears me crying.

"I-I.." I trail off, not even wanting to finish that sentence.

"Mer, tell me what's wrong. You are worrying me."

"Alex, I-I am having a miscarriage." Is all I can say before I completely break down in tears.

 **Sorry for the short chapter and the awful ending :( I will try to update this weekend I promise you, Mer will tell Nathan :)**

 **Leave a review :)**


	10. Finding Out

**Love the reviews! I am really proud of this chapter, so enjoy!**

 **(Pay attention to the point of view changes too)**

* * *

 _"Alex?" I barley choke out._

 _"Mer, I'm at dinner with Jo. I'll call you later. Okay?"_

 _"Alex, wait." I cry out this time, barely able to hold myself together._

 _"Mer? Are you okay?" His voice changes to concern when he hears me crying._

 _"I-I.." I trail off, not even wanting to finish that sentence._

 _"Mer, tell me what's wrong. You are worrying me."_

 _"Alex, I-I am having a miscarriage." Is all I can say before I completely break down in tears._

 _"Mer, I'm on my way." Is the last thing I hear before the line disconnects. With tears streaming down my face, I grab some clothes to change into later, put on a jacket and head down the stairs. I'm about halfway down when Alex bursts through the doors._

 _"Mer, let's go. I'm taking you to the hospital now!" He grabbed my purse and helped me into his car after putting a towel down. He quickly backed up out of the driveway, and started toward the hospital._

 _"Mer, you and Peanut are going to be fine. We caught it this time." He told my hand and gave it a light squeeze._

 _"No, no." I barley choked out._

 _"No what, Mer?" He looked between me and the road several times._

 _"Go to Seattle Pres." I replied sharply, as a wave of pain came over me._

 _"Mer, Grey-Sloan is closer." He said softly._

 _"I don't care! I don't want people to know my business! We all know that Grey-Sloan is a gossip mill!" I yell, becoming even more upset. Alex just glances at me, and he is also very upset. "Sorry. Can we please go Seattle Pres?"_

 _"If that's what you want, then yes."_

 _"Thank you." I barley whisper._

* * *

 **Nathan's POV**

As I pulled into a parking spot at the hospital, I saw one of the two people I wanted to avoid toady. Meredith. Her and Alex were getting out of her car, at heading toward the hospital doors. I pretend not to see them as I get out, but it's obvious that she noticed me are moved faster toward the hospital, probably avoiding me. I didn't really know why she was avoiding me, but I know I was avoiding her because of the whole Megan and Teddy thing. I hadn't known they were friends, or even that they knew each other, so it was very awkward when she found out.

Once I was through the hospital doors, I saw Amelia coming my way.

"Riggs, how ya feeling?" She asked once she got closer.

"My leg is still a little sore, but I can walk on it now without crutches, if I don't do it for very long."

"No, I meant with M-"

I quickly cut her off, not wanting to talk about it. "I'm fine, really. Great even."

"Okay. Just checking."

I quickly walk away, not wanting to talk to Amelia anymore. Although at the moment, she seemed like my only friend. Owen found out about Teddy and I, and is very upset about it since she was his friend too, Meredith has been avoiding me, and Kepner and I just haven't talked much lately.

I barley step into the attending's lounge before I hear a faint sniffle. Whoever it was didn't hear me come in, and continues crying. I can't quite see who it's is because of how dark it is, but I can definitely tell it's female. I walk softly toward her before saying anything.

"Hey, are you alright?" And she immediately jumps up and spins around 'cause I startled her. That's when I realize who the half-dressed woman is. Meredith.

"I-I was just getting dressed." She reaches for her scrub top, which is laying on the couch next to where she was sitting. I can't help myself but look at her gorgeous body before she puts her shirt on. She already has her scrub pants on, and it looks like she is about to run away from me.

"I see that, but you were also crying. Are you okay?" I ask and take a step closer to her.

She takes a step back, and wipes her eyes. "I'm fine."

"Meredith-"

"You don't need to check on me okay? I am an adult. I told you I was fine. Now I have to go do a consult, so goodbye Doctor Riggs." She snapped and darted out of the attending's lounge.

That stung. She obviously wasn't fine, and I was trying to help comfort her. I try to figure out what went wrong between us. We were fine as friends until the Teddy thing, but she still seemed okay after that. Was there something else bothering her that I should know about? I doesn't matter right now away, seeing as there was a car accident and I was being paged to the pit.

I hurried down there as fast as could, which wasn't very fast since a I was crippled. I look at my pager and see that the trauma is trauma room five. I walk in to Wilson checking him out. I looked to see his stats were normal and he was intubated. I glance over the chart. I look up to and realize there is a shard of glass in his chest, possibly puncturing a lung, and also one in his lower abdomen. I listen to his breath sounds, and wonder how his stats were normal at the moment.

"There is free fluid the belly!" Wilson shouts. His stats won't stay normal for long.

"Page general, and another cardio please." didn't want to be stuck on another case with Meredith, nor did I want to be standing for hours seeing as my leg was already throbbing.

"I paged general and cardio, and there is an OR ready. They said they would meet us up there."

"Alright let's get ready to move!" I yell, getting every one's attention. Once we begin moving, they are moving too fast for me to keep up so I just hop on as they push the gurney toward the elevator. Before the elevator doors shut, Meredith slips in. She now has her hair pulled back and looks like she normally does, not like she has been crying 15 minutes earlier.

"What do we-" She stopped when she noticed the glass shards that were impaling the patient. "We aren't gonna have time to scrub."

"But you are going to have to wait on cardio." Wilson adds.

Meredith turns to look at me. "Riggs is cardio. We are not waiting."

"Well Riggs made it seem like he didn't want to scrub in." Wilson said, crossing her arms.

"Riggs is right here." I but in.

"You don't want to scrub in?" Meredith sounded offended, like she was the reason that I wasn't scrubbing in. I mean, she partly is, but I would never tell her that to her face.

"No. My leg is throbbing, so I don't want to stand for hours and make it worse."

I saw her eyes soften a little. "Oh okay. Well can you start until the other cardio gets here?"

"Of course. I just hope they don't take too long." I smile softly.

It wasn't long before the three of us were in the OR, working to save this man's life. Meredith removes the shard from the abdomen, and all hell breaks loose. Blood is spaying everywhere, and monitors are going crazy. Suddenly, his heart stops.

"Grab a crash cart!" She yells. I start compressions while she goes to the other side and gets the paddles. "Charge to 150!"

I get a few more compressions again before she yells clear. We wait a second to see if the is any change. "No change, charge again!" This goes on for several minutes before I am out of breath and realize this guy is to far gone.

"Doctor Grey, time of death."

"No, charge again!" She snaps, and I can see the tears building in her eyes. I reach across the table and grab her slim wrists.

"Meredith, this guy is already gone." I say quietly, and let go of her wrists. She puts the paddles down and storms out of the OR. "Time of death, 11:53." I say, before hobbling to the scrub room to scrub out. Meredith is already in there, and clearly very upset.

"I can tell the family if you would like." I say softly.

"No, I'll go with you." She replies, and wipes the tears from her eyes.

I just nodded in response, and followed her to the family waiting room. There was one family, a mom with her kids sleeping nearby.

We quickly told them what had happened, and that we tried to do our best to save him but he was to far gone. We decided to leave them to grieve, so Meredith and I walked down the hall. I noticed an open on call room, and put my hand on her back to lead her to it. I wanted to talk to her to make sure she was alright.

Somewhere in the middle of us getting in the on-call room and shutting the door, our lips collided. I wasn't even sure who started, but I sure wasn't going to stop it. I pushed her up against the door and cupped her cheeks with my hands. She put her hands on my chest. My tongue slid along her bottom lip, and she pushed me away.

"Nathan," She said breathlessly. "What's going on?" I wasn't sure, so I just pressed my lips against hers again. One thing I did realize when she pulled away, was how much I missed kissing her. My hands fell down to her hips, bringing them closer to mine. This time she didn't push me away, she just broke the kiss. "Nathan?" She asked.

I just looked at her beautiful features, and now swollen lips and wondered where I went wrong. "Megan and I," I paused, wanting to say the right thing. "She wants a break from me." I say, and I see Meredith eyes full of pity. I once again bring my lips to hers, being a little rougher this time. She didn't object either. I didn't want Meredith anymore. I needed her. My hands moved her hip right next to mine, once again. I deepened the kiss, surprised she actually let me. I begin to tug at the bottom of her scrub top. Once I did that, she shoved me off of her.

"I-I can't do this." She stutters, putting her hands to her lips to cover the fact that they are swollen. She quickly runs out of the on-call room, too fast for me to keep up. So, I decide just lay down in the on call room, and think about how I messed every relationship I've had up.

* * *

It wasn't until I was back in the attending's lounge did I see Meredith again. I ran right into her, knocking her purse out of her hands and everything spilling out of it. I mutter an "I'm sorry" and she just ignores it as I help her clean it up. I had her the last of what fell out, she says thank you and scurried out of the lounge. I notice another piece of paper that flew under the couch, so I pick up. I try not to be nosy, but I notice it's an ultrasound photo. That could be why she has been so upset. She probably is missing Derek like hell right now. I wouldn't blame her for reminiscing about the good ol' days before everything got crappy, and I assume her pregnancy was one of the good things. I shove the picture in my bag, a decide I will give it to her later.

* * *

 **Meredith's POV**

"Alex, we kissed. Like kissed, kissed. We could have done things if I hadn't stopped it." I rant to Alex.

"Well why didn't you then?" He questions, even though he already knows the answer.

"Because I still haven't told him." I bite my lip. I had been meaning to tell him, but it turned into me avoiding him instead.

"Well, was the kiss any good?" He asks.

"I don't even know how to explain it. I don't even know who started the damn kiss!"

"So it was good?" He smirks.

"Shut up." I say, crossing my arms.

"You still want him." He says back.

"I know."

"So, you have to tell him." Alex insists.

"I know."

"Stop saying I know, and go do it!" Alex said sternly.

* * *

 **2 Days Later ...**

 **Nathan's POV**

Meredith had successfully avoided me for two days. I really didn't know what was with her. Here I was, sitting in the attending's lounge, waiting for her to come in. But she never did. I decide I will just leave the picture in her little locker thing. I grab it out of my bag, but something catches my eye. The date. It was dated for four days earlier. It took me a second to piece it together. Her moodiness, avoiding me, the throwing up for a while, were all because she is pregnant? I felt tears come to my eyes. I was going to be a father! I looked at the little picture, and how tiny the little baby was, and the fact that it didn't look like a baby at all. I also notice where she wrote on the corner "8 weeks along". Then it hits me again. The only time recently when we weren't careful. The plane. A smile came across my lips. I couldn't believe it. I was going to be a father! I just wonder when Meredith was going to tell me. Or how long has she known? I decide to have a nurse page her to the attending's lounge, but not tell her why.

A few minutes later, an out of breath Meredith comes rushing through the door. "I was paged 911-" She paused when she noticed me. "Are you alright? Did you page me?"

"Yeah, I did." I stepped closer to her, so we weren't yelling across the room.

"Um, why? Are you alright?" She questions.

"I'm fine." I try not to smile.

She stares at me for a moment. "I have patients Nathan, you can't page me for no reason."

"I know."

"So, why did you page me then?" She asks, and had finally caught her breath.

"I uh, think I should give this back to you." I held my hands behind my back, not wanting to give it to her just yet. I wanted to see if she would say the words first.

"Give me what?" She asked, and you could see the curiosity on her face.

"Something that I found under the chair two days ago, after you dropped your purse. You left so quickly or I would have given it back already."

She steps closer. "Well give it to me then."

I decide to give it to her anyways. When I pull my hand from behind my back, her eyes instantly get huge.

"N-Nathan..." She trails off before grabbing it from my hands.

"When were you going to tell me that you are pregnant?" I ask, getting serious now.

"I don't know, honestly." She says in barley a whisper.

"You are pregnant." Is all I say.

"Well not anymore..." She keeps her eyes glued to the floor.

"Not anymore? Is that what you said?" I ask, unsure if I heard her correctly.

"Y-yes." Is all she responds.

"YOU GOT RID OF IT? YOU GOT ROD OF IT WITHOUT EVEN TALKING TO ME FIRST?" I screamed, causing her to jump. My heart started to race. I was going to be a father. Going to be. Then she got rid of it. I felt tears coming to my eyes.

Meredith looked up to say something, but before she could say anything I pushed past her and went as fast I could down the hallway. I could hear her calling my name, but I just ignored it. I have never felt so betrayed by her before. That's why she took off two days of work, and avoided me for two more. Because she had an abortion and didn't tell me. I quickly made it to my car, and started driving to the nearest bar.

* * *

 **Ooo, Nathan assumed stuff. But hey, he did find out about the pregnancy...**

 **I started school, so the updates are going to be slower. Sorry! :(**


	11. The Gossip

**So, here is the long awaited chapter. A lot of you wanted flashbacks to the miscarriage, so I tired my best to make it realistic. Enjoy :)**

* * *

"When were you going to tell me that you are pregnant?" Nathan quickly asks in a serious tone.

"I don't know, honestly." I whisper.

"You're pregnant."

"Well not anymore..." I look to the floor, not wanting to see the hurt in his eyes.

"Not anymore? Is that what you said?" He questions.

"Y-yes." Is all I can say, considering I still couldn't believe that it had happened again.

"YOU GOT RID OF IT? YOU GOT RID OF IT WITHOUT EVEN TALKING TO ME FIRST?" He screamed, causing me to jump a little. I was fighting back the tears, seeing as I had never seen that side of him. I look up to say something, but he pushed past me before the words could come out of my mouth. I stood there for a couple seconds, unsure what to do.

I basically ran to the door of the attending's lounge, and started yelling his name down the hallway. But he ignored it, and kept going. I didn't have the energy to chase after him. What happened the other day had drained all my energy.

 _"You are going to fine Mer."_

 _"I've already lost too blood for the baby to survive."_

I go back into the attending's lounge and plop down on the couch, and call Alex.

"Hey Mer. What's up?" He answers cheerfully, making me want to punch him since I was currently holding back tears.

"Alex, I need you."

"Meredith, where are you?"

"Attending's lounge." I feel a tear fall down my cheek.

"I'm on my way." Is all I hear before the line disconnects.

I sit back against the back of the couch, and try to figure out where I went wrong. Not telling him? Letting him find out the way he did? Or was it the way I said I wasn't pregnant anymore? I wouldn't know till he cools down enough to talk to me. That's if he would talk to me. I had never seen that side of him, nor did I want to see it again. All I can hope for, is that he would forgive me for not telling him.

I am still holding the ultrasound picture. I look at what could have been. I feel another tear fall down my face just as Alex comes running through the door.

"Meredith, what's wrong?" He immediately noticed I was crying.

"I-I..." I trail off.

He sits next to me and pulls me into a comforting hug. "Shh, Mer. There was nothing you could do."

 _"I'm sorry ma'am, there is nothing I can do at this point."_

"I know, it just feels like I could have prevented it."

"I know if you could have, you would have. You will be alright Mer. Just let the tears out." He tried to comfort me.

"That's not the really the reason why I am so upset," I pause, and Alex pulls away from me and gives me a questioning glance. "He found out. Riggs found out. I didn't even tell him he saw this picture and the date..."

"Where is he? I will kill him for making you this upset!" Alex states as he gets up.

"Alex, no."

"He doesn't deserve you if he isn't here to help you through the pain."

"Alex, listen to me! He saw the picture and the date on it and knew I was pregnant. When he asked, I told him I wasn't. He assumed that I got rid of it, and stormed away before I could explain." I explain, and Alex sits back down.

"Oh, I'm sorry Mer. Still, I could kick his ass for not letting you explain."

"It's fine, really. I'm going to let him be for a while, and then I will explain what happened." I sigh, unsure if he would even try to talk to me again.

 _"How am I supposed to tell Nathan now?"_

"Do you know where he went?" Alex asks.

"No. I don't know if I could talk to him now. I have seen a whole different side of him that I didn't want to see." I bit my bottom lip, trying to figure out what exactly am I supposed to say.

"You will figure it out Mer. You always do." Alex says as he pulls me into another hug.

 _"Alex, I don't think I can survive this." I barely whisper._

 _"Meredith, you'll survive. I don't know how, but you always do."_

"It's just hard. Ugh, why did this have to happen?"

"Because the world is seriously freaking messed up. That's why." Alex looks at me, and I can tell he feels seriously bad for me right now. No one ever wants to be in a situation like this.

"Would you trade places with me if you could?"

"I don't think I could survive it. Most of the time I don't know how you are still standing, or even smiling, when you do. You are one of the strongest people I have met, and I don't freaking know how you do it. I know I wouldn't be able to." Alex's little encouragement speech makes me smile.

"Thank you. I needed that." I whisper. We sat in silence for a while, until my stomach started to make some weird noises. I tried to hold on my laughter, hoping Alex hadn't heard it. As soon as we look at each other, we burst out laughing.

"Well damn, someone is hungry." He says while nudging me with his elbow.

"I haven't eaten today, so of course I'm hungry." I laugh.

"Come on, let's go get some wonderful hospital food." He says sarcastically as he gets up.

"Shut up." I joke as we walk out of the attending's lounge.

I was laughing but it quickly stopped when Alex put his hand on my back and made us walk faster. I turned to look at his face and it was full of something I couldn't quite read. I follow along, speed walking beside him hoping he would tell me what's going on. It's not till we pass a group of nurses that hits me what was going on. The hushed whispers and stares I was getting, wasn't a good thing. The gossip mill in this hospital is ridiculous, and I bet someone overheard Nathan when he was yelling at me. I bite my lip and try to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. I keep my head down until Alex pulls me into a supply closet.

"Meredith, are you okay?" He grabbed my shoulder and gave it a squeeze, but I didn't respond. The whole hospital knows now. It won't be long before I get an earful from Maggie and Amelia about not telling them. "Meredith!" He shook me a little harder this time.

 _"I don't want anyone to know."_

"Y-yeah?" I choke out.

"Don't listen to them. All they do is gossip. It's not the truth, only you know the truth." Alex tried to comfort me.

"I know. I know. Can't I just not be talked about for once?" A tear falls down my cheek. I haven't even talked to Nathan about the truth yet, but the hospital thinks they know exactly what happened.

"Ignore them Mer."

"I know." This time it's Alex's stomach that growls, causing me to smile a little. "We should still go get some food. I'll just ignore whatever ignorant person decides to talk about me."

"Alright, let's go."

* * *

We made to the cafeteria with only a few people staring at us, well at me. Word obviously travels fast, because barley a minute after I sit down and start to eat I notice Amelia and Maggie whispering and walking my way. Maggie plops down with her food on the chair next to me, and Amelia next to her. I continue to eat my food, ignoring the elephant in the room. I could see them out of the corner of my eye just watching me, like they would figure something out.

"What?" I say, getting frustrated.

"Well, Amelia and I heard the rumors and were wondering if they were true?" Maggie asks softly.

"You literally just called them rumors, so they are more than likely not true." I snap.

"More than likely?" Amelia chimes in.

"Well, what have you heard?" I ask, and gave them a look.

"We heard from some of the nurses that you and Nathan had a little bit of a fight." Maggie started, and looked to me to see if I would continue.

"Wrong. We didn't have a fight. It was a misunderstanding, and he yelled, then stomped away." I paused, to see if they would elaborate on what our supposed fight was about. "Hear anything else?"

"Meredith, we heard you..." Amelia trailed off.

Maggie continued with, "had an abortion."

I took a deep breath, I tried to think of the fastest way to explain this whole thing. "Once again, a rumor that is not true."

"So, you were never pregnant or you still are?" Maggie asked, and took a glance at my stomach.

"Look, Nathan found out because an ultrasound picture fell out of my purse. When he asked me about it, I told him that I wasn't pregnant anymore, and he assumed that I had an abortion. He ran off before I could tell him..." I trailed off, not wanting to say this part. I bit my bottom lip, and tried to stop the tears from even forming. "He ran off before I could tell him..." I just couldn't say it.

"before she could tell him that she had miscarried." Alex helped me out, and I just looked to my hands in my lap.

"Oh Meredith." I heard Maggie whisper. "Are you okay?"

"Not really. He still thinks I got rid of it. I need to tell him that I miscarried, but this whole hospital thinks I had an abortion." I tried to stop it, but a tear fell down my cheek. Within a couple seconds I felt Maggie's arms wrap around me.

"It's okay Mer. We can tell him if you want us too." Maggie said softly.

"It's fine, I can handle it. I just don't know where he went or when he'll be back."

"Mer, just give him some time, and he'll come back. I swear he is in love with you." Amelia states, and I smile a little. I know it's not true, he has Megan, but it was a little comforting anyways.

"Was it those two days you missed a couple days ago, and you wouldn't leave your room till we left?" Maggie said with a hint of curiosity in her voice. I nodded my head in response.

"You could have told us. We would have helped you." Amelia adds.

"I know. Just this one, I wanted to be alone for. I didn't know how to tell you that I was pregnant, when some days I still feel like I belong to your brother. I thought you would be mad at me for moving on, even though I wasn't sure I was ready. When I found out, I wasn't sure I would keep it, so what was the point of telling you?" I ramble.

"It's fine Mer, it's your decision anyways." Maggie said, hugging me again. "Alex?"

"Yeah?" He said, finally joining the conversation.

"Let me guess, you knew." Maggie said in her knowingly way.

"Yep." He replied, not wanting to mix in with the sister drama.

"Okay, I'm ready to go home honestly." I say, to avoid and feuds between Alex and my sisters.

"Ooooh! We should have a girl's night!" Maggie says out of nowhere.

"Uh sure. Alex, can you watch the kids tonight?" I ask him, so I know I can easily get out of this girl's night if I need too. He just nods in response.

"Alright, good. I'll see the two of you later, I have one more surgery." Maggie says before getting up and rushing off to her surgery.

I get up to go grab my stuff, seeing as my soft was almost over. I would find Nathan later, right now I just wanted to go home and see my kids before Amelia, Maggie and I's girl's night.

* * *

 **The Next Day**

I walk in to the hospital exhausted. Maggie, Amelia and I stayed out late last night, and I was the only one with an early shift. I have a big cup of coffee in my hand to hopefully help me through the next hour or so. I barely get changed into my scrubs before I'm paged down to the ER.

I enter the trauma room, and of course it's going to be awkward. I've got Nathan, who is trying his hardest to avoid me. Owen, who is still mad about Nathan and his sister's situation, and Amelia who was obviously trying to get me to tell him. As we assess the patient, it's just dead silent besides the heart monitor. Nathan leaves the room for some reason, and Amelia uses that time to jump on me about telling him.

"Meredith, you have to tell him." Owen raised his eyebrow at me, so I assume Amelia hadn't told him what had actually happened.

"I will, I swear. I just need to get him alone, when we aren't working on a patient."

"I'm paging Webber and Pierce to take over for you guys." Amelia smiles.

I give her a fake smile, and snap my gloves off, running into Nathan as I was walking out.

"Can we uh, talk please?"

"Doctor Grey, we have a patient." He blankly says back, and tries to push past me.

"No, they paged someone else for us. I need to talk to you." I say, and grab his arm pulling him to the nearest on call room.

He crosses his arms as soon as he closes the door. "What is there to talk about? You killed our baby without talking to me first."

I bite my lip, waiting for anything else he has to say. "If you would listen to me, I would tell you that I didn't have an abortion."

His mood immediately changes, he looks more relaxed and less pissed. "You didn't?" He asks, wanting to confirm it.

"No, Nathan, I didn't." I say and look to floor, not ready to say the next part.

"But you said you weren't pregnant anymore, unless you were lying..." He trails off.

"Nathan, I had a miscarriage." I take in a deep breath, not wanting to cry.

 _"Mer, let's go. I'm taking you to the hospital now!" He grabbed my purse and helped me into his car after putting a towel down. He quickly backed up out of the driveway, and started toward the hospital._

 _"Mer, you and Peanut are going to be fine. We caught it this time." He told my hand and gave it a light squeeze._

 _"No, no." I barley choked out._

 _"No what, Mer?" He looked between me and the road several times._

 _"Go to Seattle Pres." I replied sharply, as a wave of pain came over me._

 _"Mer, Grey-Sloan is closer." He said softly._

 _"I don't care! I don't want people to know my business! We all know that Grey-Sloan is a gossip mill!" I yell, becoming even more upset. Alex just glances at me, and he is also very upset. "Sorry. Can we please go Seattle Pres?"_

 _"If that's what you want, then yes."_

 _"Thank you." I barley whisper._

 _I flinch a little when more pain comes over me. Alex notices it. "You are going to be fine Mer."_

 _"I've already lost to much blood for the baby to survive."_

 _We pull into the emergency area, seeing as it was the closest and easiest to get to. He parks as close as he can get, and comes around to help me out. He is basically holding me up and walking for me, as I just can't._

 _Once we are through the doors, several doctors coming flying our way and one with a gurney. "Ma'am, how were you injured?" One of them asked, and I just nodded my head no._

 _"Ma'am I'm going to put you on this gurney and exam your injury okay?" Another tells me._

 _I just lay back on the gurney, wanting to fall asleep and wake up from this dream. I hear Alex say something to them. I only caught some of it. "She isn't injured."_

 _"Then why is she bleeding?" One of the doctors snap back like he was an idiot and didn't know I was bleeding._

 _"Well if you would listen, I was going to tell you that she is pregnant, and very obviously having a miscarriage. If there is any way to..." That's all I hear him say before I just lose consciousness._

 _I awake a few moments later to Alex shaking me awake. I am now in a room, hooked up to a bunch of wires and have an IV in._

 _"Alex, I don't think I'll survive this." I barley whisper._

 _"Meredith, you'll survive. I don't know how, but you always do." Alex says to try to comfort me._

 _"Ma'am, this is going to be uncomfortable but I need to see if there is a heartbeat, and this way is more reliable than a regular ultrasound." I nod my head, now noticing I was in the stirrups. I wince a little as she starts, but keep my eyes locked in the monitor. Alex gives my hand a really tight squeeze as we wait to see what she says._

 _"I've stopped the bleeding."_

 _"Okay, so that's good, right?" I ask._

 _"I'm sorry ma'am, there is nothing we can do at this point."_

 _I put a hand over my face as the tears threaten to spill. I look to Alex for help._

 _"I'm going to get your regular OB, and give you some time to process." She states before leaving the two of us alone._

 _We sit in silence for a while, just listening to the beat of my heart over the monitor._

 _I break the silence. "How am I supposed to tell Nathan now?"_

 _"Honestly Mer, I don't know. Do you even have to?" He asks._

 _"I don't think so. Alex, I don't want anyone to know." I say softly._

 _"Whatever you want Mer."_

 _"Ms. Grey, just take it easy for the next few days. You went through a miscarriage, and I would suggest you take a couple days off and rest." My OB said._

 _"I'll call the hospital and get us the next two days off. I'm not leaving you alone for this." Alex said in a comforting way._

 _It had been a few hours since I got here, I was going home. I couldn't wait to get out of here, seeing as the whole thing was bringing up flashbacks of my first miscarriage. I shuddered at the thought, remembering how horrible that one was._

 _I finished up signing some papers, and Alex helped me to the car. "So, we have two days off. Are we gonna sit and cry, watch movies, or drink the whole time?"_

 _I let out a little laugh at him. Figures he would be the one to make me laugh in a situation like this._

 _"Umm, no drinking. How about lots of ice cream and other junk food and movies?" Anything to get my mind off what happened today would be great._

 _"Sounds great. We'll have to stop and get some ice cream."_

 _We pulled up to the nearby Publix, and I stayed in the car while he ran in and got our junk food. I pulled out my phone, deciding now was the best time to tell Nathan about the whole thing. If I didn't do it now, I wouldn't do it all. I dialed his number, but he never answered. So, I never told him._

"You had a miscarriage?" He asks softly, and reaches out to touch my arm.

"Yeah, I-uh, I did." A tear fell down my cheek, but Nathan wiped it away.

"Meredith, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, really." I whisper.

"No, no it's not. Come here." Next thing I know, his muscular arms are wrapped securely around me. My head is resting on his chest, and I feel his chin resting on the top of my head. I've missed his warm embrace. Oh, how I have missed it.

* * *

 **Finally a chapter ending a good note! But there is till more drama to come :)**

 **I was wondering how long you guys want me to keep this story going? I have an end in mind where they may or may not end up together, but I just want to know how much longer should I keep this going?**

 **\+ You guys can always send me prompts for other stories if would like, and I might write them :)**


	12. That's A Punch In The Face

**Wow, it has been forever since I updated! Between Hurricane Irma knocking out my power for a week, my professors deciding to give me so much work, my birthday, I haven't had time to write! Fortunately, during that week without power, I had plenty of time to think about ideas for this story, and I don't plan on ending it anytime soon :)**

* * *

We stood there for several minutes, in each other's arms. I only moved to place a soft kiss on her hairline, taking in her intoxicating scent. "Meredith, I'm so sorry."

"Nathan, really, it's not your fault." She whispers, but I can feel her tears soaking up my scrub top where she is resting her head.

"Shhhh, just let the tears out." I try to soothe her. I gently move us over to the bottom bunk. She sits next to me, and rests her head on my shoulder. I loosely wrap my arm around her, not wanting to push her.

"Well I guess I still have a hostile uterus." She says, breaking the silence.

"Uh what?" I ask, and pull away so I can see her face.

"A hostile uterus. I thought I have told you about it before." She says softly, and from the look on her face it's obvious that it brings up painful memories.

"Hostile? What is that supposed to mean?" I ask, just trying to understand.

"I, uh, have had a miscarriage before. Derek and I went to the OB, and she told us that my uterus was hostile, and it made it not only harder to get pregnant but more likely to miscarry. After I had Bailey and Ellis, I just assumed the hostileness went away." She bit her lip but didn't look away from me.

"Hostileness? I don't think that's a word Mer." I'm not able to hold in the laughter.

"Shut up!" She starts to laugh along with me, and I just enjoy the moment between us before we have to go back to reality.

A piece of her hair falls in her face, and I gently push it behind her ear. "Seriously though Mer. Is there anything you need or anything I can help with?"

"I'm fine." She assures me for like the tenth time.

"Okay, if there is anything you need, just let me know."

She smiles for a moment, but it quickly fades. "Um, so..." She trails off.

"So, what?"

"What do you want to do about the hospital?" She asks.

"The hospital?"

"Yeah, all the rumors going around about us. I say we just ignore them, because I'm used to it but I don't know about you."

I scoff and smile at her. "You don't think I can handle a few rumors?"

"Let's see how that goes. You won't last very long."

"Really? I survived all the rumors when I first got here, remember those?"

She didn't answer right away. "Whatever. I still don't think you'll last five minutes."

"Wanna bet?"

"Sure."

"If I win, I want to go out to eat at an actual restaurant, just as friends." I smiled, knowing I was going to win.

"Well we aren't going out to eat as "friends", seeing as you won't win." She puts emphasis on the friend's part, and gets up to leave.

"I will too win."

"Will not!" She said before disappearing out the door.

I let out a sigh, glad she is back to her normal self. I reach for my lab coat and put it on before heading to the nurse's station.

I grab a tablet, and just start looking over one of my patient's chart to see if anything has changed since I had last checked. With everything the same, I just put it back and see Owen coming my way, looking pretty upset.

"Riggs, can I have a word with you?" He didn't sound to happy.

"Yeah sure mate." Is all I respond before following him a little down the hall so the nurses weren't listening in. "What's up?"

"What's up?" Now he sounded even more pissed.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"I heard what you did to Meredith."

"Oh. That's what this is about." Meredith did say there were rumors going around, but did he know the truth or hear the rumor?

"Yeah." He huffs.

"So..." I trail off.

"I thought I warned you not to hurt her, and that she has been through way too much for you to pull your crap on her. And what do you think Megan will think when she hears about what you did to her, huh?" Owen fires off.

"Mate, I didn't hurt her-" Owen quickly cut me off.

"Really? I heard that you yelled at her about her getting rid of the baby. That's her choice, you should respect it, not make her feel worse about an already hard decision!"

"Owen- "

"I don't want to hear it. I heard how upset she was after you stormed away. She really has fallen for you, and you are going to go and blow it all away over something that probably was an impossible decision for her?" He raised his voice, and I could feel many eyes on us.

"Owen, listen to me."

"No! Stay away from my sister and Meredith. I will kill you if I find out you are near either of them."

I decided in that moment to argue like a child, yet did I know that I would come to regret it. "You can't tell me what to do."

Next thing I know there is a fist coming at my face, then I'm on the ground bleeding.

"What happened?" I can barely hear Meredith ask a few moments later.

I feel her hand on my face, and a light shining in my eye.

"I was defending you because he hurt you!" I hear Owen yell.

"Seriously Owen?" I blink several times since my vision had black spots and was blurry. "Nathan, are you okay?" She asks softly, touching my already swollen eye.

"You were right. I didn't last five minutes." I got a smile out of her before she helped me into an empty room and in a chair.

Owen brings ice, and immediately put it on my face. He stands the awkwardly and looks sorry.

"Owen." I say, getting his attention, but Mer stops me before I say anything more.

"I think what Nathan was going to tell you is that you heard a rumor about us, and it's not true. So, you better apologize for giving him a black eye." She said in her stern, attending voice.

"Riggs, I'm sorry. Well what did happen then?" Owen replied, looking between us.

"I was pregnant, he found out, and I told him I was no longer pregnant. He assumed, and started yelling at me. That's what happened." She said, biting her bottom lip. I couldn't help but stare at her and wonder how she was still standing. I've just heard stories of what she's been through, and seen the many, many different scars.

"You miscarried?" Owen whispered.

She just nodded her head, and you could see the pity in his face. "I'm sorry Mer, you could have told me."

"I'm fine." Her typical response, that I'm starting to believe isn't true.

"Riggs, sorry about your eye. Feeling any better?" Owen asked me.

"I'm good mate. I understand where you were coming from, but next time could you get the full story before going around punching people?" I got a laugh out of both Owen and Mer.

"I will. I gotta run, bye guys." Owen said before leaving.

Mer came up to my side and removed the ice from my face to recheck my eye. "You don't have to check it a thousand times, it's just a black eye."

"I'd rather be safe than sorry." She got the light out and checked my pupils yet again.

"The more I get to know you, the darker you seem."

"I'm dark and twisty."

"I'm not going to ask."

"Good, because I'm not going to tell." She could be so stubborn at times. "Does it hurt at all?"

"A little, but if you kissed it, it would make it better." I said jokingly. I didn't expect her soft lips to brush my cheek, just below my swollen eye. Sending shivers down my spine.

"Better?" She mocked.

"Much better." I smirked, getting a smile out of her before she turned to leave. I put the ice back on my face until I felt like it should be fine.

It had been awhile with the ice pack on, and my face was beginning to feel numb. I walked to attending's lounge to get me some well-deserved coffee. I hear two people enter the room, talking and laughing.

"Hey Riggs." Arizona says as she comes to my side. I turn to face her, and she jumps back a little, now seeing my black eye. "Whoah, what happened?"

"Who did that?" I hear Keps say from the couch.

"It's a long story."

"Do tell." Arizona says, now checking my eye.

"It's not important." I insist.

"Was it Owen again?" Keps asked, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"It was Owen!" Arizona squeals. "Tell us details. Did you get a punch in or did you let him beat you up again?"

"Okay, he didn't beat me up. It was one punch, because of that stupid rumor going around the hospital. He was protecting his sister and Meredith."

"Ohhhh." They both say in unison.

"Yeah. It's all good now, and I just want to go home."

"Then go, you should just go relax. Sounds like you had a rough day." Arizona says quietly.

I grab my stuff, and say bye to them, who seemed to have gone back to their previous conversation. I pull my keys out of my bag, ready to go home to my apartment. I walk past the nurse's station, and get many questioning glances from the nurses sitting there. I take a deep breath and just keep walking, until I run into Owen on the elevator.

I can see the pity on his face the minute I enter the elevator. "Seriously, it's okay. I know you hadn't heard the right things, and I understand why you did it."

"I know, but I just feel bad. I'm sorry." Owen quips.

"It's fine, really."

"Amelia and I were thinking about having dinners to introduce Megan to all of our friends, so she can start to fit in more. Obviously you can come to everyone to help share stories and stuff. We wanted to do one friend at a time, so we don't overwhelm her. This might be awkward but we were thinking to start with Meredith since she is Amelia's sister, and my friend for almost 10 years now. What do you think?" He said all in one breath.

"Of course I would come. Anything to make Megan feel normal."

"Good. I'm going to invite Meredith whenever I see her. Hopefully we can have the dinner tomorrow." Owen said, sounding relieved that I had agreed to them.

"Can I invite Meredith? It will give me an excuse to talk to her without feeling like an idiot." I ask, just really wanting to talk to Meredith again, and to make sure if she would even be okay with me being there.

"Uh sure, just don't forget. Tomorrow night at 8." Owen said as he exited the elevator.

As I'm getting off the elevator, I run into Meredith. Literally.

"Uh sorry." She quips as she picks up the paper she dropped. "Oh, hey Nathan. You heading home?"

"Yeah, it's been a long day."

"Can you see out of that eye? 'Cause I can drive you if you can't." She asked.

"Well, I can somewhat see. Better safe than sorry, right?" I say.

"Yeah. I was just about to head home."

"I'll have to show you the way to my apartment, it's not too far." I follow her out to her car, and get in the passenger seat.

"It's uh, nice to actually use your car for the right reasons this time." I joke, glancing back into the back seat.

"Shut up." Is all she says as we pull out of the hospital parking lot.

It's not until we are in my apartment parking lot that I decide to bring up dinner. "So, Owen and Amelia are having a dinner for Megan to start meeting their friends, so she can start fit in more with everyone. I'm going to be there. They want to do it one friend at a time so we don't overwhelm her, and they want to start off with you since you are Amelia's sister and Owens friend for so long. I-I don't have to be there if you think it will be awkward."

"Of course I will go. When is it?" She smiles with that smile that makes my heart melt.

"Tomorrow at 8."

"I'll be there."

"Bye Meredith."

"Bye Nathan."

* * *

 **Who is ready for another awkward dinner? No promises for it to be a normal dinner!**

 **The season 14 premiere was so good, if you haven't watched it, you should. I am still so shocked by the ending! Ugh I can't wait for next weeks episode!**


	13. Dinner Time

**Sorry it's been so long! My life is really hectic atm, but I knew I needed to update this. Hopefully you like this chapter!**

* * *

The dinner was supposed to happen two nights ago, but the was a multiple car pileup and then everyone was just too tired yesterday to want to do anything.

So, here I am getting ready for a dinner I know is going to be weird. Maggie's got the night off, so she is watching the kids for me. I told her I would text her if I needed an excuse to leave. I dress causally, jeans and a red v-neck. I add a touch of curls to my hair, since I never get the opportunity to do anything with my hair anymore. I give each of the kids a kiss goodnight before heading out the door.

The drive to Owen and Amelia's place is quick, but the whole time I thought about how this dinner was going to be a disaster. I pull in the driveway behind Owen's car, noticing that Nathan's car isn't here and the dinner was supposed to start ten minutes ago. As I'm grabbing my purse, Nathan pulls up behind me.

"Nathan, don't park behind me, I might have to leave early." I say, not wanting to lie but hopefully get him to move his car.

"Why?" He gets out of his car and walks toward me, giving me a questioning glance.

"Uh, I think Bailey is coming down with the flu." I lie.

"Give me your keys and go inside, it's a little chilly out."

"I'm fine." I cross my arms.

"Meredith, you've got goose bumps. I'll move your car." He says, holding out his hand.

"Fine." I hand him my keys and head for the door while he moves my car. I knock on the door, and I am greeted by a nervous looking Amelia.

"Hey Mer, you made it."

"Yeah, the kids didn't want me to leave, and it's hard to say no to those faces."

"Well come on in. Dinner isn't quite ready yet so you are fine."

I glance back at Nathan, who is now done moving my car before walking inside. The air inside is already tense, and I have a feeling I might make it worse. I walk into the kitchen to greet Owen, who is currently trying to finish cooking.

"Hey Meredith, glad you could make it. Food will be ready soon, but for now you can grab a glass of wine and sit there at the table."

"Okay." I grab a wine glass, and pour me some. I take a sip, taking in the taste of something I don't drink very often. I sit at the table, and a few moments later Nathan comes in, grabbing a beer before sitting across from me. Megan came in seconds later, looking way better than she did when I first saw her.

"Hi, I'm Meredith." I extend my hand, she gives it a shake before smiling at me.

"Hi Meredith. I don't have to introduce myself since I'm sure you know who I am and all. That's the whole reason Owen wants to have these stupid dinners, so I can meet his friends. Not like I'm going to be staying here." Megan says before sitting down. Nathan raises his eyebrows at her, but she doesn't seem to notice.

"She is staying here Meredith, don't listen to her." Owen shouts from the kitchen.

"Brothers are annoying." Megan simply says.

It is mostly silent as dinner is served and everyone begins eating. Until Megan's curiosity gets the best of her.

"So Meredith, are you married?"

I swallow hard, knowing that this conversation is already going somewhere I don't want it to. "No. I'm a widow."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Have you dated anyone since?"

"One or two guys, but neither of them worked out. I'm just trying to enjoy the single life." I got a glare from Nathan, warning me to watch it.

"That sucks. Onto a better topic, how do you know Amelia?" Amelia and I just give each this look, unsure of what to say.

"Meredith is my sister." Amelia says before taking a big bite of food.

"You guys are sisters? You look nothing alike!"

"Sister in laws. Meredith was married to my brother Derek." Amelia spoke softly. Megan's face immediately changed, seeing the tension between us.

"Wow, I thought that would be an easier topic to talk about. Sorry."

"No, you are fine really. Its been three years now." I see Nathan move in his seat, obviously uncomfortable with this conversation.

"Let's try another topic then. Meredith, how are you and Owen friends?"

"We have know each other for a really long time." I answer blatantly.

"Come on, give me more than that." Megan says, rolling her eyes.

"Fine. I had married Meredith's best friend." Owen says, getting annoyed with the conversation. Amelia blushes a little, and it's obvious she feels really awkward.

"Is everyone here somehow related by sex?" Megan says, getting frustrated since the conversation is going no where. Nathan and I glance at each other for a moment, before looking back at Megan.

"Sorta seems like that huh?" I laugh.

"It really does. And this is only the first dinner! Tell me Meredith, are they all going to be this interesting?" Megan says full of curiosity.

"Probably. It just depends who is here."

"Then I won't mind these these dinners to much." Megan says and shoves a forkful of food in her mouth.

"Megan, don't forget to take you anxiety meds." I hear Owen say as he gets up to grab the wine and another beer.

"I know, I know. I want to get back to talking, since the point of this is to get to know Meredith right?"

"Yes." We all day at once.

"So, how do you know Nathan?"

I bit my lip, not sure what to say. I glance over at Nathan and he looks scared as to what I'm going to say. "Quite a few cases together, and my sister had liked him."

"Amelia?" She quickly fires back, and I see out of the corner of my eye a very red Nathan.

"No, no, not me. Meredith's other sister, Maggie." Amelia quickly stated.

"Oh. Did nothing happen there?" Megan gently asks Nathan.

"I-I wasn't ready to date yet. I had tried, but they never worked out. So why bother?"

"You could have dated. I would understand if you had, Nathan. Ten years is a long time for someone to be gone." Megan says.

"I actually did date one person that it felt right with." Nathan said, and Amelia immediately gave me a look. The tension in the room was pretty high.

"What happened?" Megan asked. I just watched them talk as if it was nothing. I'm really scared that he'll accidentally spill something and she will hate me. My hands start to shake as I anticipate what he is going to say.

"You came back." Those three words meant a lot. You could see Megan now tearing up.

"Oh." There was a few moments of silence and awkward glances. "H-How long had you two been together?"

"Not long at all. I had chased her for months, and she kept telling me no. I eventually got her."

"Excuse me, I gotta use the ladies room." I say, getting any excuse to get away from this table. I go around the corner to where they can't see me but I can still hear them.

"Do you love her?" Megan asks quietly.

"Megan, I love you."

"You didn't answer my question." Megan says, staying firm.

"I am in love with her. Or I was. That all changed when you came back Meg."

My mouth drops open. I hear Amelia get up and say so excuse to leave the table. I dart quickly into the bathroom, but not fast enough.

"How much did you hear?" She asks.

"That he did love me until Megan came back. He never told me that." I say, running my hands through my hair.

"I think I'm going to pick out a movie for all of us to watch and relax."

"That's a good idea." I reply.

"Come out when you aren't so red." She says before walking out the door. I quickly look to the mirror and realize how red I actually am. I straighten myself up before walking out to the living room.

"Owen is in the kitchen finishing up cleaning up." Amelia says from her spot on the couch. I look over to the other couch only to see Megan sitting there.

I walk to the kitchen slowly, and hear Nathan and Owen talking. "Why would you tell her that?" Owen said in a hushed whisper.

"Sorry Mate, I don't want to lie to her. She can tell when I'm lying and I think that would have made things worse."

"Alright fine. Just don't tell her anymore. And don't tell Meredith. I don't want you hurting her."

I use that as my cue to walk in, and they both stare at me for a moment.

"Need any help?"

"If you could grab the last of the plates from the table that would be great." Owen replies.

I walk to the dinning room, grab the last of the plates and walk back to the kitchen. Of course, only Nathan is in there. He quickly turns around to take the dishes from me. His hand brushes mine, sending shivers down my spine. I shiver, shake it of and help him finish up the dishes.

After we finish, Nathan heads to the living room and I grab a bottle of water. Once I get to the living room, I can tell it's going to be interesting. Amelia and Owen are cuddling on the smaller couch, taking up the whole thing. Megan and Nathan are sitting next to each other on the bigger couch. There's a space next to him, but I don't want to sit there.

Megan notices me trying to find a place to sit, and tells me to sit next Nathan. I sigh, and do it anyways. Our hands once again brush each other's as I sit down. We all are watching the movie Amelia decided to put on, but I just wonder what's going on in Nathan's head.

Not long into the movie, I decide to get another glass of wine. I quietly get up and go to the kitchen. I pour me a glass, and softly walk back toward the room.

Next thing I know I am falling, and my wine glass is also. I must have forgotten about the step up. Nothing had really prepared me for what was about to go down.

My wine glass shatters, and I feel a pain in my hand. I don't get a chance to look at it before I hear Megan screaming.

"MEREDITH!" Owen yells, I look to see Megan looking scared as hell, getting up to run. She has a blanket wrapped around her, and neglects to take it off. I watch from the floor as Megan tries to get up, falls and hits her head right on the side of the coffee table. She loses consciousness and all hell breaks lose.

* * *

 **Okay so I have a couple questions. Should I continue this story even though merthan is over? (I cried when I found out Martin was actually leaving :/) Or should I wrap up the current storylines? Or keep it going as long as I can?**


	14. Always Runnin'

Thank you guys for all the reviews, each and one of them made my day!

* * *

The few minutes after I fell was chaos. Everyone in the room rushed over to Megan, their doctor instincts kicking in. I couldn't see much from my spot on the floor, but I could see everyone around her. I didn't want to get up. It was my fault she got scared, I should have been more careful. I blink a few times, trying to awake from this nightmare. Amelia moves to grab her phone, and I can see Megan now, and she very obviously unconscious. I hear Amelia briefly talk to who I would assume is 911, and take her position back at Megan's side.

When the paramedics arrived, I was still on the floor where I fell, just leaned up against the wall. A gurney was brought in, and Megan was placed on it and was rushed out. Owen and Nathan went with the ambulance leaving Amelia with me.

"Meredith, are you bleeding?" She says softly before rushing over to me. She roughly grabs my arm to examine my hand. "The cut looks to be about 2 inches long, not too deep, no major arteries or veins but you are definitely still going to need stitches." She quickly walks to the kitchen and brings back a towel to wrap my hand in for the moment.

"Oww." I wince as she gently wraps the towel around my hand.

"We are going to go the hospital and get you stitched up so you'll stop bleeding all over the place and to check up on Megan. Okay?"

"Is Megan gonna be okay? I could tell she was unconscious but…" I trailed off.

She watched me for a moment before saying anything. "She definitely hit her head pretty hard. There is a small lac that's going to need a stitch or two. I told them she will need a CT to rule out the possibility of a bleed. I suggest keeping a close eye on her, but nothing is for sure till we see her scans." She must have noticed the horror on my face, especially since I know I caused this. "Meredith, she is gonna be fine. Let's get to the hospital to prove that and get you stitched up."

Amelia watches carefully as we head to my car, and she decides it's the better idea for her to drive, since my hand has a cut and all. As soon as we are both in and heading toward the hospital, she decides to talk. So much for a silent car ride. "Meredith, this wasn't your fault. I know you think it is, but she has awful PTSD and most noises scare her. You just scared her a little, and she got up and tripped. Anyone could have tripped and her head like she did. It happens, it's life."

"I am the reason she got up so-"

Amelia was quick to cut me off. "Meredith, accidents happen okay? It is part of life. It was not your fault, and Nathan and Owen know that. Right now, we shouldn't focus on why or how she fell, but how to help her get better. Okay?"

"Okay." I say as we pull into the hospital parking lot. Amelia comes around to help me out and into the ER, and that's when I really notice the pain. Obviously, the adrenaline has worn off. I sit on one of the gurneys while Amelia goes to get a suture kit. As soon as she is back I ask her to hand me my phone so I call Maggie.

"Hey Maggie, how are the kids?" I say, trying not wince as Amelia puts the anesthetic in.

"Good, they are in their rooms playing. Do you need an excuse to leave? Its almost been two hours."

I bite my lip wondering how to reveal this to her. Or even if I should. Megan is going to be fine, either way. "Uh yeah, about that. I'm at the hospital."

"You ditched the dinner to go work?" I hear her try to suppress her laughter, only casing me to laugh.

"No, I didn't ditch dinner." I say, my tone getting very serious. "Megan fell and hit her head, she is getting a CT as we speak. I fell also, and Amelia is stitching up my hand."

"What? Are you okay? How is this cut? How many stitches are you gonna need? How did Megan fall and is she okay? Do I need to come to hospital?" She fired the questions at me, full of concern.

"Maggie, I'm fine. Megan is in CT right now, so we will know shortly. You don't need to come in, just give each of the kids a kiss for me. I'll be home as soon as we know how Megan is."

"Okay, okay. Call me in and hour and let me know if you have heard anything. If you don't call me, I swear Meredith I will come done there."

"I will let you know. Bye."

"Bye."

I sigh, just wanting to go home to my bed and some tequila. I'm supposed to have the day off tomorrow anyways, and I was going to sleep in and take the kids to the park.

"Let me guess, Maggie is crazy worried and wants to come down here to make sure you are okay herself?" Amelia asked with a grin.

"Yep. She said to call her in an hour or she will come and find out herself."

"Figures. Well I'm done stitching you up, and I'm sure you know how long to leave them in and ect. Let's go see how Megan's scans are, she should be done soon."

I nod as I jump off the gurney and follow her to the elevator, and Alex slips in also.

"Mer, Amelia, I thought you guys had a dinner to go to tonight. You bailing? Cause I wouldn't mind a little help on this case I got."

"I-uh, don't see how I would be of help." I whisphered looking down at my now wrapped hand, seeing as he obviously hadn't noticed.

"Wilson went home, so I just want someone to talk to. Plus, you avoided my question about the dinner. Was it that bad?" Amelia shared a look just as he turned around and noticed my hand. "Meredith, what the hell happened? Was it Nathan? I will kill him!"

Amelia raised an eyebrow at him and gave me a look, which basically meant you are explaining what happened. "Chill, I fell with a wine glass in my hand. It happens. I'm fine as always. We are going to see how Megan is doing."

"Megan?" He asked as we all exited the elevator to head toward the CT room.

"Yes. She got scared when she heard the glass shatter, so she got up and tripped. She hit her head and lost consciousness, so she is getting a CT."

"Oh. So much for a good dinner, even though you had called it, it sounds like a disaster." Alex said as he went the opposite way.

I take a deep breath before entering the CT room. Amelia and I enter to see Owen and Nathan standing near the computer pointing at something. As I get closer, Owen moves so we can see it.

"That is a huge subdural hematoma. She is definitely going to need surgery Owen." Amelia says softly, looking between their faces. "I can do it. Only if you want me to."

Nathan doesn't say anything, just runs a hand over his face. He turns around and glares at me before adding his input to the conversation. "Amelia is good. If she says she can do it, then have her do it. We only want the best for Megan, she has been through enough already."

"True. Amelia, go ahead and do the surgery. I'm going to go with Megan down to pre-op, okay?" Owen said as he walked toward the door, not before dropping a kiss on Amelia's head. Amelia followed him out, leaving Nathan and I alone.

"Nathan, are you okay?" I ask softly, knowing this couldn't be easy for him either.

"Am I okay?' He huffed.

"I'm just asking Nathan. She is just starting to get better, and this happens. I know this can't be easy on you. Its not easy on any loved one."

"And what would you know about this huh? You have never been in a situation like this." He snapped.

"Maybe I haven't. But I been in situations where someone I loved needed surgery. When my husband got shot, he needed surgery. My best friend operated on him at gun point. That's a way different situation, but I remember being scared to death that he was going to die on that table. My mother needed a few surgeries before she died, and I had to decide if she would want the surgery, since she was no longer lucid at the point. We really had a love hate relationship, but still, she was my mother. All I'm saying is that it's not easy being the loved one in the waiting room, or even the one trying to make the best decision for a loved one. If you need to talk, I'm always here. I'm pretty sure I've told you I've been through a lot. Just ask." I said before walking away, but not giving a chance to respond. I need some coffee for sure.

As I'm getting my coffee, I run into Alex again. He notices me struggling to get my coffee and helps me out. "So, is Megan alright?"

"She has the ginormous subdural hematoma." Alex raises his eyebrows. "I am serious, that thing is huge! Amelia is going to operate on it."

"Is she allowed to? Megan is her sister in law, since she is married to Owen."

"I have no idea, but from the sounds of it, Owen is pretty confident in his wife's skills."

"Of course he would be confident in her skills, I mean they are married if you know what I mean." Alex said with a wink.

I elbowed him. "Shut up! Not like that, you know what I meant." I couldn't help but laugh though.

"Yeah, I do know. Page me when there is news, or if you need me. You are kinda crippled now." He teased.

"Am not!"

"Really? Says the one who was struggling to make a cup of coffee just a few minutes ago."

"Shut up. I could have done it by myself."

"Mhm." He smiled as he walked away.

I sigh, knowing it was going to be a long night. I find myself looking at the OR board, which is pretty empty s ince its late at night, and only emergencies are supposed to be scheduled for late at night. I see Megan's name on, along with Amelia's. I look and see no general surgeries that I could jump on, so I decide to go to the scrub room Amelia should be in right now.

I walk in to her with her hands on her hip, looking up and her chest up. "Amelia?" I purposely drag out the "A" in her name, as I'm confused as what is going on. "Are you okay?"

She lets out a breath before turning to face me. "I got this. I was just doing the superhero pose, its supposed to make you feel more confident before something big, so all my big surgeries I do it. It really does work."

"Oh. I didn't know that. That's cool. Anyways, I was just checking."

"Well, uh, thanks for checking. I'm good. I could use a fruit smoothie though?" She asked, lessening the tension.

"Seriously?" I ask, laughing at her.

"Yeah, if you wouldn't mind. I was also wondering if you would come in and get periodic updates for Owen. He is really worried, and I don't want an intern doing it."

"Yeah, of course I can do that. So, you guys are doing better I see? Cuddling on the couch tonight and little kisses on the head?"

"It's nice. Better than spot we were in where we could barely be in a room together."

"I had those fights with Derek. It always was great when we returned to normal. I miss those little fights. They may suck, but you might miss them one day."

"I know." Amelia sighed, before putting her mask on. "Can you go get my fruit smoothie now?"

"I'm going, I'm going."

* * *

About an hour into the surgery, while we were waiting in the waiting area, a concerned Maggie came around the corner.

"Meredith, you didn't call!" I cringed, remembering that I was supposed to call her and let her know what was going on.

"Sorry, I must have forgotten." I put a fake smile on my face, hoping it looks believable

"Uh huh. I'm sure you did." She said putting a hand on her hip.

"I really did. Plus, I am exhausted, so that probably isn't helping." I faked a yawn to look more convincing.

"Whatever. So, I assume since you guys are waiting out here that Megan is in surgery."

"Yep. She has this huge subdural hematoma, and Amelia is operating."

"Oh. How is she doing?"

"I am actually supposed to go get an update here in a minute, do you just want to that for me since you are up? And maybe get them coffees?" I pointed toward Nathan and Owen who were a few seats down.

Owen was listening to the conversation and decided to jump in. "An update would be great. I can get us all coffees since I want to walk around a bit. You want one Maggie?"

"Sure." They both left, again leaving me alone in a room with Nathan. He gets up and sit in the chair next to mine.

"I'm sorry."

"For?" I ask unsure what he is talking about.

"About your mom and Derek, what you told me earlier. I was just upset, and you were just trying to comfort me and I was rude. So, I'm sorry."

"Oh, well uh, thank you."

"You're welcome, Meredith"

We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes. I shivered, as I didn't have a jacket and the hospital is always cold. Nathan noticed, and almost immediately started to take off his jacket.

"Nathan, that's not necessary. I am fine."

"You are shivering, and you have goosebumps. You are cold. I am giving you my jacket Meredith." He stated before wrapping his jacket around me.

"Thank you." I whisper.

* * *

I awake in an unfamiliar place, and rub my face with my hands before opening my eyes. Once I do. I quickly sit up looking wide eyed at Nathan. I had fallen asleep on his shoulder, and he was resting his head on mine. He had obviously started to fall asleep, he looked exhausted.

"Meredith, you just fell asleep on my shoulder. It's nothing." He says calmly, clearly seeing panic on my face.

"I fell asleep on your shoulder." I repeated.

"Yes…"

I also realized I was still wrapped in his jacket. It smelt like him, and I didn't want to give it up, but I took it off and handed it back to him anyways.

"Meredith, it's fine. It's clear that you are exhausted, you should go home."

"I'm here to support yo-Owen." I smile, hoping he didn't catch my slip up.

"I know, but I can call you when Megan gets out surgery."

"I'll stay, where is Owen?"

"Bathroom."

"Maggie?"

"Went for an update since you fell asleep on the job."

"Oh."

"She should be back soon." He said as Owen got back.

We all sat silently for several minutes before Maggie and an exhausted Amelia in her surgical stuff appeared. I bit my lip, wondering how long I had actually been asleep. Both Nathan and Owen stood when Amelia got closer.

"I got the bleed, but it was way worse than the scan showed. We won't know anything till she wakes up." I sigh at the phrase that is said when they truly won't know till the patient awakes, but they usually know or have a gut feeling about what could be wrong.

"So, you don't know if she is going to be okay or not?" Nathan asked, sounding mad.

"We won't know till she wakes up."

Nathan whips around to look at me before stepping closer. "You. You did this to her! We won't know till she wakes up whether or not she will be okay or not, and that's all your fault! You are the reason we are here in the first place!" He yelled.

"Nathan, it's not the time or the place." Owen whispered.

"You did this to her! It's all her fault! She is the reason Megan had to come to the hospital, and have another surgery! Brain surgery at that! I want her gone!" He raised his voice a little higher.

I could only bite my lip for so long before the tears came anyways. I decided within in seconds of him saying he wanted me gone to run. As far away from them as I could get.

* * *

People tend to say things they don't mean when they are upset :(

Anyways, I'm going to bring in Meredith winning the harper avery, because she deserved it so much. It obviously won't be Megan she operates on but I've got an idea of what I'm going to do :)

Hope you guys enjoyed the holidays :)


	15. So Many Feelings

**I'm back guys! This semester has kicked my butt. About halfway through my laptop crashed and I lost all of my files, including my half of this chapter. Then I just didn't have the motivation to write, but I finally got it back :) Finals are next week so hopefully I will be back to updating this story more often :)**

 **I decided to change up points of views for this chapter, hopefully you'll enjoy!**

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 **Maggie's POV**

"I got the bleed, but it was way worse than the scan showed. We won't know anything till she wakes up." Amelia stayed softly. I hear Meredith sigh, and I feel her. It's a long enough wait through surgery, and to wait for the patient to wake up to know for sure they did it correctly? It's hard.

"So, you don't know if she is going to be okay or not?" Nathan asked, sounding mad.

"We won't know till she wakes up." Amelia repeats.

Nathan turns around to Meredith and steps toward her. "You. You did this to her! We won't know till she wakes up whether or not she will be okay or not, and that's all your fault! You are the reason we are here in the first place!" He yelled.

"Nathan, it's not the time or the place." Owen whispered.

"You did this to her! It's all her fault! She is the reason Megan had to come to the hospital, and have another surgery! Brain surgery at that! I want her gone!" He raised his voice a little higher.

I could see Meredith biting her lip and fighting back tears. That last part he said was obviously all she could stand, as she darted out of the room, leaving all of us in shock.

I blink a few times, trying to process everything that just happened. Without even thinking about it, I grab my purse and swing it at him, hitting him hard in the shoulder.

"Ow! What was that for? And do you have bricks or something like that in there?" He says, grabbing his arm.

"For being a complete ass, and no I don't, but I wish I did." I snap back.

"Whatever, I'm going to sit by Megan's bedside."

"No, no you aren't." Owen steps in, now recovered from the shock of what just went down.

"What do you mean no?" Nathan asks.

"I warned you."

"Warned me?" Nathan repeats.

"I warned you about Meredith. Not to hurt her. And guess what you just did? You hurt her. She ran away crying for heaven's sake! I won't let you see Megan till I know Meredith is okay. Maybe even longer, depends." Owen fires at Nathan.

"You can't do that."

"Watch me."

"She's was my fiancé, that's not fair."

"Hints the 'was'." Owen fires a low blow, but is seems to work.

"Fine. Whatever. I will see her soon. You can't keep me from seeing her forever."

"No I can't, but you know I'm gonna try like hell." Owen says with a smirk.

Nathan grabs his jacket from the chair forcefully and quickly makes his way out, leaving Owen, Amelia, and I alone.

"Amelia, Owen, you guys should sit with Megan and make sure someone is there when she wakes up. I'm going to try to find Meredith, she couldn't have gone far." I say, hoping it will be easy to find Meredith.

"Alright, I'll call you with any news about Megan." Amelia said.

"Okay, and I'll call you when I find Mer."

"Bye." I watched as she guided Owen through the doors, and toward Megan's room. I sigh, not even knowing where to begin to look for Meredith.

I start by looking in nearby on call rooms. She often goes there when she's upset or just to get a break from the madness that is the hospital.

I knock softly before entering, and see a lump on the bottom bunk, completely under the covers and facing the other way.

"Meredith?" I whisper. When I get no response, I just repeat myself. After the second time of no answer, I lightly shake the lump, hoping to get a response.

The lump jumps up, startled with his eyes wide. "Maggie?" he asks, turning his head slightly to left.

"You're not Meredith." I let out a grunt.

"Obviously."

"Well I didn't know that before when you were wrapped up in the blanket and facing the wall." I inform him.

"Whatever, I'm a resident who works to much and needs some sleep, so it'd be nice if you'd leave."

"Well, since you are a resident, you have to do what I tell you."

"Well what would that be?" He slid to the edge of the bed, stretched and put his shoes back on.

"I need you to find Doctor Grey. Something happened, and she isn't answering her pages. I'm going to run to her house, but I want you to search every room in this hospital."

"Do I at least get to know what happened?" He asks, as he slips into his lab coat.

"That's none of your business." I snap. I sigh, knowing that it was rude to snap on him for no reason. "Just page me if you find her. For helping me, I'll let you in on a surgery of your choice."

"That's a deal." He sticks out his hand to shake on, but I just look at it and try not to laugh. "I guess we aren't shaking on it." He shoves his hand in his lab coat, as he pushes past me and into the hall.

I plop down on the bed, and try calling her again. After several rings and no answer, I hang up. I sit in the silence, trying to figure out how I'm going to find her. About a minute or two later I pull out my phone again and begin tracking her, since she shares her location with me. It's not long before I'm in the parking lot, heading back to the house.

I park behind Meredith's car, and softly open the front door. I hear the kids' laughter coming from the living room.

"Damnit!" Meredith yells, and I turn toward the kitchen.

"Mer?"

"Maggie, I uh, hi." I try to read her expression but fail. I can see the dark circles under her eyes, her hair is pulled back in a messy bun and she is holding a spatula in her not injured hand.

"Are you-"I stop when my eyes spots what looks like an omelet on the stove.

"I'm trying to cook the kids brunch, but it's hard when you can only hold one thing." She chuckles, showing me her other hand, wrapped in a bandage.

"Here, I got it. You go make you some coffee and sit down. You look terrible." I grab the spatula and begin working to fix the omelet she was cooking.

She sits down with thud, and lets out a breath. "So I look how I feel huh?"

I quickly glance at her to know that she isn't joking. "Meredith-"

"I don't want a lecture. I know what happened wasn't my fault, but his words really felt like they had some truth to them."

"Meredith, all he said was bad things. How could they have any truth to them?" I flip the omelet, revealing a burnt side that Meredith had done. I grab a plate, put the omelet on it and place it in front on Meredith. "Eat. I don't want to know the last time you ate."

"I ate last night, at the dinner remember?"

"Well I didn't know if you had gotten to dinner before everything happened. And I really want to know what you meant when you said his words had some truth to them. You can talk to me you know?" I say, now sitting beside her.

"If it wasn't for me, she wouldn't be in the hospital right now. I know it was an accident but still, I caused it. I feel terrible that my little fall caused so much pain for so many people. I can't imagine what he is going through. Losing her for ten years, for her to start to get better then she gets injured again? He has got to be struggling with his feelings. I know I am." She took a bite out of the omelet, and just looked at me, waiting for me to respond.

"You are struggling with your feelings?" I ask.

"At of all that, that's what you decide to ask me?" She scoffs.

"Meredith, I want you to talk to me. Maybe I can help."

We lock eye contact for a moment, before she turns away and sniffles. "How can you help with my feelings? The fact that I think I'm falling in love with a guy who has a fiancée who just came back from the dead? Or that I'm struggling to suppress those feelings that I never thought I would feel again?" A watch as a tear falls slowly down her cheek.

"Meredith, it's okay to have feelings again. It's a part of life. And love is never perfect now is it?" I grab her hand and hold onto it.

"No it's not. It just never seems to be at right time."

"Is there a perfect time for love?" This gets to her. She looks up from the table.

"You're right. Why didn't I meet you sooner, you are full of good advice I could have used." She wiped her face with the back of her hand. "Thank you, for helping me."

"I wish I could have met you sooner, and it is what sisters are for, am I right?"

"Yeah. Could you finish making the kids brunch seeing as I'm injured and can't?" She gives me a half smile.

"Of course. So, what happened at dinner last night?" I walk back over to the stove, and start working on making the kids brunch.

"A lot of awkwardness. Like, a ton. Every conversation she tried to start just made it worse. She had asked how I know Owen, which is through Cristina. If you didn't know, they were married. She asked how I knew Amelia, and I said she was my sister, then it went onto more awkwardness as the night went on."

"So, that dinner definitely wasn't worth it." I move to the fridge to get more cheese.

"Well there was one thing."

"One thing?" I ask, intrigued.

"It was Nathan." She said plainly.

"Nathan," I paused, wondering if it was just more awkward conversation with Megan or was there something more. "What happened with him?"

"Well, I had left the room, because of something that was said. But I didn't leave the room completely, I just stood around the corner and listened to their conversation."

"Go on." I give her a quick nod, wanting her to continue.

"He said he loved me." She stated.

I whip around to look at her. She was no longer looking in my direction, but looking down at the plate, pushing what is left of the omelet around. "He said that?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you have to give me more details than that. What did you do? What happened after that?" I question, eager to know more.

"I ran to the bathroom. I didn't know what to do or say. Everyone thought I was in a bathroom anyways, so I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to hear that."

"Ohh. So that's why you are struggling with your feelings."

"Yeah, I guess so. I just didn't realize he had such strong feelings for me."

"Just because he has those strong feelings, doesn't mean yours have to be that strong. If you aren't ready to say 'I love you' yet, then that's fine, Meredith." I say, even though I haven't been in a really serious relationship, so I don't completely understand where she is coming from.

"But that's the thing. My feelings are strong. I just keep trying to push them away because he has a fiancée."

"Meredith..." I trail off.

"I know. It's an impossible situation to figure out what to do. Well, not anymore at least."

"Not anymore?" I ask, unsure what she was talking about.

"Remember in the waiting room? There was definitely hate in his eyes, not love."

"Meredith, he was mad. Just because he got mad, doesn't mean his feelings for you are gone. He probably regrets what he said. It was all in the heat of the moment."

"So you think that even though he is mad at me, that he still loves me?" She asks.

"I remember when I first got here and you and Derek were always at odds. You were mad that he took the job at DC, but you still loved him, correct?"

"Yes, but-"

"But nothing. This is a different situation, but same concept. His feelings are still there. You should talk to him about it when he cools down some." I finish up the plates of food, and place them on the table.

"Okay." Is all she says, before eating her last bite of omelet. "Zola, Bailey, Ellis, it's breakfast time."

"I can keep an eye on the kids. You should shower and get some sleep."

"You wouldn't mind cleaning up the kitchen would you? I don't think I can do that either." She said as she stood up.

"Yeah that's fine. Let me guess, you are gonna do this to me all week huh?"

"The surgeon said I couldn't do anything till I get the stitches out." She shrugged. "And you know you have listen to a surgeon." She added with a wink before turning to leave.

I watched as the kids ran right into her, almost knocking her over. She squatted down and hugged all three of them before preceding to whisper something in Bailey and Zola's ear. The two of them and Mer looked over at me and started giggling. I felt like Ellis, as she had a frown on her from not knowing what was going on.

Meredith stood up, not before giving them all a kiss, and headed upstairs. Bailey and Zola stood staring at me and giggling.

"What are you guys giggling about?" I ask with a smile, and I put my hands on my hip.

"Aunt Maggie, did you make eggs for breakfast?" Bailey asked softly.

"Yes, I did. Now you all get over here and eat."

Bailey and Zola giggled harder as they walked over to sit down.

"So what did mommy tell you that was so funny huh?" I ask, curious as to what they were laughing at. Then again, it's probably something silly since they are still little.

"Aunt Maggie, you have egg in your hair." Zola stated, and Bailey started laughing.

I reached into my hair, and pulled out a little piece of egg. I couldn't help but start laughing with them.

* * *

 **Nathan's POV**

I lift my wrist to look at my watch again. Still only afternoon. I pull my blanket up further to cover my face.

I know I can have a terrible temper, but I never thought I would let it out on Meredith. I realize now that she didn't deserve that. Now she was somewhere, upset. Somehow, within a few of hours, I've seem to have lost both of the women I love.

I grab the bottle next to me, open it, and take a big swig. I swallow roughly, not used to the taste. I flip around the bottle of Jack Daniels, looking for the alcohol concentration. When I don't find it right away, I give up, putting the bottle down.

I think back to the previous night. I had openly admitted I loved Meredith. She wasn't in the room when I had said it, but I had been wanting to say it for a while. I was waiting for the right time, and for Meredith to be ready, but then Megan came back, and that all changed. Now I probably couldn't tell her anyways. She thinks I'm pissed at her.

I once again check my watch, desperately wanting it to be night. That way, I could go to Meredith's while everyone was sleeping, so we could have a serious conversation. But only five minutes had passed since I checked the last time. I throw my head back and let out a groan. This day is taking too long. I just want to talk to her and clear things up. I grab the bottle again, taking a big gulp and force the liquid down my throat. I shiver as it goes down.

I check my watch again, becoming very impatient. This time, it had only been a minute since I last checked it. I decide that I cannot wait till later to see Meredith, that I will go see her now. It's around the kids nap time, so hopefully they won't be a problem.

I grab my keys and phone, and head to my car. It's only a few minutes before I'm pulling into Meredith's driveway. I notice only Meredith's car is here, and everyone else's who is usually here is not. That betters my chances of talking to her alone. I reach her door, and take a deep breath before knocking. I knock, not to hard just in case the kids are sleeping, but loud enough for her to hear. After a minute or two, I'm about to leave when I hear her say "Hang on a minute!"

I rock onto my heels, knowing she was coming. What would I say to her first? I should definitely start with 'I'm sorry'.

"Maggie, did you forget your key or something?" I hear her yell before opening the door in just a towel, water still dripping down her face. "You're not Maggie."

"No, I'm not. I just want to talk." I say softly.

"Talk? You want to talk after what happened earlier?"

* * *

 **Cliffhanger, as usual! Do you guys think they will talk it out?**

 **As always, please review :)**


	16. Kisses and More Kisses

**Thank you to all my reviewers, you guys made my day and inspired me to write more :)**

 **This is one of my longest chapters, so enjoy!**

* * *

I sigh, relaxing in the hot tub. It was so nice of Maggie to take the kids to the park and give me some time to relax.

I'm just about to drift off to sleep in the warm bubbly water when I hear a knock on the door. I grunt, knowing that I have to get it since no one else is in the house. I'm not expecting anyone, so it's probably just Maggie forgetting something. I get out of the tub and wrap a big fluffy towel around my body, and make my way downstairs while leaving a trail of water.

"Maggie, did you forget your keys?" I yell as I reach the door. I swig it wide open to reveal not Maggie, but Nathan. I swallow roughly. "You're not Maggie."

"No, I'm not. I just want to talk." He says softly. I can feel the water running down face and my body, and I let out a shiver.

"Talk? You want to talk after what happened earlier?" I fire at him, still upset over earlier.

"Yes."

"Well I don't want to." I feel like a little child when they argue, but I really don't want to talk to him.

"Meredith, I want to apologize. And talk about what happened earlier, and how to I can make it right."

Feeling exposed, I pull my towel up some, covering more of my chest, just for it to reveal more of my thighs. I have no answer for him. I don't want to talk about it, but seems really sincere about it. Open the door wider, allowing him room to walk in. "I'll, uh, be right back. I'm gonna get dressed."

"Well I've seen it before." He smiled, and I turn toward the stairs.

"Doesn't mean you'll see it again." I say, not to sternly hoping it comes off as funny. Especially since he may actually not, that is if he stays with Megan.

I walk to the bathroom and reach into the still warm tub and pull the plug. I watch for a moment as the hot relaxing bath I was in just a few minutes ago disappears, and I'm faced with my reality. Nathan, in my house, wanting to talk. Even though I don't want to talk to him.

I walk back to my bedroom to throw on some clothes. I grab my comfy bra and put it on, and I pull on a white V-neck and some leggings. I look in the mirror at my hair, and decide to leave it down to air dry. I also don't feel like brushing it, so I leave it messy like it was. Using my fingers, I at least part it, so it looks like I tried something with it. I take a quick look at my phone to make sure Maggie hadn't called, and throw it back on the bed before heading back downstairs.

I slow down on the last few steps, looking at Nathan's profile as he stares at something on the wall. I step down to the last step and it squeaks, causing him to look at me. I don't say anything but sit next to him and put my hands in my lap.

He is the one to break the silence. "I uh, know you hurt your hand, but I never asked if you got stitches, surgical glue, or a band aid."

"Stitches, I don't remember how many exactly. Amelia stitched me up. And I'm sure you know they have to stay in for at least a week, which means no surgeries for a week. I might actually die of boredom."

"Oh yeah, that sucks. You could do consults."

I flip my hand around, looking at the wrap around my hand. "Yeah, I guess so. I hate doing consults and not being able to touch the patients. I guess I could have Wilson do it, and use it as a teaching moment."

He laughs. "Well it is a teaching hospital you know."

"Shut up." I say, laughing.

"So, on a more serious note." He starts, and I stop laughing and freeze in place. I'm not ready for this conversation. I'd rather continue our playful banter we always do. "Are you a klutz or are you just accident prone, or both?"

I let out a breath, not expecting that. I was definitely expecting the relationship and 'I'm sorry' talk. "Well, I am most definitely accident prone. I swear everything bad happens because of me, but that's a darker topic that I don't really want to talk about. A klutz on the other hand, well kinda. I was that kid that always fell up the stairs."

"You were that kid that fell up the stairs?" He tried to hide a smile.

"Yeah, I was. I fell down the stairs too but everyone saw me fall up the stairs. I completely missed the step and face planted. My friend who was walking with me stopped and just started cracking up. I started laughing too, because it really was funny. It's funny because it happened again about a month later, but I was carrying mac and cheese and got it all over me. That time it wasn't funny to me, but it was to everyone else." I giggled, remembering my high school self.

"Oh goodness." Nathan laughed. "Have you at least gotten better about not falling?"

"Actually I had. I hadn't tripped in a while, until last night."

"That's good. Better than falling upstairs." He smiled.

"So, I know you came here to talk to me, not specifically about my clumsy younger self. So, let's talk." I say, losing my smile.

"I want to apologize. Truly apologize for this morning. It was in the heat of the moment; I really didn't mean what I said. I just want you to know that I'm very, very sorry. I have an awful temper, and that's something I'm always trying to work on. I hope you accept my apology and understand that I didn't mean it."

I bite my bottom lip, unsure what to say. I notice his hand is just lying on his thigh, and I gently put my injured hand over his. Not holding it, but just touching it. I look up to see his icy blue eye staring at me. "I forgive you. Apology accepted."

He half smiles, and puts his other hand over softly over my injured one, without pushing down or adding weight. Our eyes are still locked, and he whispers "Thank you."

"You're welcome." I whisper back. My eyes travel down to his lips, and I run my tongue over my lips. He raises an eyebrow, but I act like I don't notice.

I smile, and I find myself inching forward. We are a few inches apart, when he moves his hand that was on top of mine to my hair. I know it's a bad idea to be doing this, as it always makes things worse, but I find myself doing it anyways.

My free hand finds the side of his face, and my lips part slightly. Seconds later, my lips catch his. It's soft. Slow. It's like we are just learning how to kiss. I feel his hand readjust in my hair, but it's calming. I open my mouth a little more than...

A bang as the front door causes us split. His hand that was in hair my falls down to my hip, but cannot be seen by anyone but us. My hand that was on his face now sits on my thigh. Neither of us bothered to move our other hands, the ones on his thigh. I lick my lips again, and try to pull myself back together.

"Meredith, I've called you like ten times. The kids are fine, it's just that Amelia called to give us an update about Megan. She's awake-"Maggie stops mid-sentence when she walks in the room, noticing us both right away. The two old kids run past her upstairs, not even noticing us and Ellis is on her hip.

"Megan's awake?" Nathan asks, his accent slipping out really heavily.

"Yeah she is. She woke up a little bit ago..." Maggie trailed off, bouncing Ellis from one hip to the other.

I bite my lip, unsure what to do or say in this situation. I don't move at all; I just stay frozen in place.

"That's uh, that's good." Nathan says, moving away from me. I shiver from the loss of contact, considering he always is warm and I'm always freezing.

Everyone still stays in the same place, staring at one another trying to figure out who should talk or move next.

"Yeah it's really good." Maggie whispers.

Nathan clears his throat before getting up. "I uh, should get going. I need to get home and get a shower. Bye." He stands and casually leaves, shutting the door softly, leaving Maggie and I alone.

"Meredith, what was that?" Maggie says as soon as the door shuts.

"Huh?" I was half listening to her, and just caught her say my name. I was trying to figure out what had just happened. And what it meant.

"What was that? With you and Nathan? Sitting awfully close? You guys looked like a deer in headlights."

"He came over to apologize."

"That didn't look like an apology, more of a persuasion." She stated, putting her free hand on her hip.

"He had already apologized before that."

"And was that him making sure that you are forgiving him or what?" She asks again.

"Maggie, I made the move. I scooted closer to him." I furrow my eyebrows at her. What gives her the right to think that Nathan would do that? Yeah he isn't perfect but he is definitely not like that. Most of our relationship was me making the moves.

"Oh. Oh. I'm sorry Mer, I just thought..."

"I know what you thought." I blatantly replied.

"Meredith, I'm just trying to protect you, I promise."

"I know, I know. It's just weird having sisters who want to protect me when for the longest time nobody protected me. I'm used to handling stuff myself. I definitely had that situation under control." I sigh, unsure of really what it all meant in the first place.

"Okay. I just don't want you to get hurt again."

"I know. Thank you for watching out for me." I half smile. "So tell me again what happened with Megan."

She puts Ellis down, who walks over to me and sits in my lap. "She woke up about an hour ago. That's really all that I've got. She's followed basic commands, but is still very groggy. They are going to just watch her for now, before trying to do anything else. It was a big operation and of course with the trauma she's had, it's not going to be easy."

"Yeah, it definitely won't be easy." I repeat, still trying process what happened earlier. I wrap my arms tightly around my youngest and snuggle her. She doesn't understand what's going on most of the time, and that's how I've been feeling lately. Lost.

"They didn't want Nathan to know just yet, till they figure out more. That was my fault, I just wasn't expecting you to have anyone over. I told you get cleaned up and take a nap. You still look exhausted.

"Well I wasn't expecting him either."

"I figured, because you probably would have told me, right?" She asks.

"Yeah, I would have. It was just weird. Anyways, I think it's Ellis's nap time." I point to the half-asleep toddler in my arms. "I'm gonna take her upstairs so we can both get some sleep. Let me know when you are heading to the hospital."

"It won't be till later, so you've got some time to sleep." She smiles as I pick Ellis up, who is now completely out, with her little thumb in her mouth.

"Okay, wake me if you need me." I whisper before heading up the stairs. I peak in on my other two children playing happily together before heading toward my room.

I softly close the door behind me, before laying Ellis down. I put her on Derek's side, and smile at how much she resembles her Dad. She's got his curls, eyes, and smile. There is also a little bit of me in her that I can see. The blonde hair, which I'm sure will get darker as she gets older, and the little nose. She is also very small, but maybe she just hasn't hit a big growth spurt yet, but I'm not worried.

And to think that I could have had another little one who resembles me running around. My hand falls to my lower abdomen. I can still vividly remember the pain I went through that night. I wonder if it just wasn't meant to be, or my body not being able to handle another pregnancy, or none of that altogether. Was I even ready to take a step like that with Nathan? Granted we haven't known each other too long but we've learned a lot about each other, and we understood each other's pain and grief.

I shake it all off, giving Ellis a kiss before heading to my side of the bed. I pull back the covers before sliding onto the bed. I pull the covers up to my chin before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Before opening my eyes, I reach out to the other side of the bed to see if my daughter is still sleeping. When I feel nothing, that's when I open my eyes to find the bed empty. I stretch a little before kicking the covers off of me. I reach for my phone on the night stand to see the time. I blink a few times adjusting to the bright light. It's 6:42 PM. I slept for a good four to five hours.

I head downstairs to find Maggie and the kids eating pizza. "Hi guys."

"Morning sleepyhead." Zozo smiles.

"Good morning silly goose." I giggle as I walk over to her to give her a kiss. I sit next to her and grab the last slice of pizza.

"So, I was thinking that we could run to the hospital to see Megan." Maggie spoke up after a couple minutes of silence.

"Okay, that's fine by me. Do you need me to call the sitter?" I ask.

"No, I already called her and she'll be here at seven. I was planning on waking you up in a few minutes anyways."

"Oh okay." I finish off the last bite of my crust. "I'm gonna go get ready."

"Okay, I'm going to clean up the kitchen." She says as I make my way toward the stairs.

I run up the stairs into my room. I stop for a moment to look at mine and Derek's post it note. It's still on the case, untouched. I put my hand on it and take a deep breath. Derek would tell me that I will make it through this, whether or not Nathan and I end up together. He would want me to move on, kind of like Megan had expected that Nathan would have moved on. I sigh and begin getting ready. I trade my leggings for jeans, and brush through my hair leaving it wavy. I look in my mirror for a moment before heading back downstairs.

The kids are now in living room, playing with some toys. I walk to the kitchen to find the sitter and Maggie. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah let me finish cleaning this last dish."

"Okay." I thank the sitter for coming, and make my way into the hall to grab my purse and keys.

I head out to the car, and turn on the ignition. I pull out my phone to check it while I wait on Maggie. I instead find myself calling Nathan.

"Hello?" I say softly, unsure of why I really called him.

"Meredith?" He asks.

"Yeah it's me."

"What's up?"

"I was wondering about earlier. I know I was the one who made the move but I really don't know what it meant. And I hate not knowing what it meant. Do you have any ideas?" I ramble.

"I don't know either, but it felt good. I've missed it." He says, his accent becoming more noticeable.

"You've missed it?" I ask, not knowing he felt that way.

"Yeah I have." There are several seconds of silence before he speaks up again. "Even though it felt good, I still have strong feelings for Megan. I don't want to hurt you."

"I know, I know."

"Okay. Have you heard anything about Megan?"

"Uh, not since earlier. I'm actually about to head to the hospital now." I say.

"Do you, do you think Owen will let me see her now?"

"Maybe, but you never know with Owen."

"I might come. Worth a shot, right?" He asks.

"Yeah, worth a shot." I repeat.

"Alright well I'm going to get a shower before heading to the hospital."

"Okay, see ya later."

"Bye Meredith." I put down my phone and just stare at it. Not how I expected that phone call to go. Nathan going to the hospital is either going to be a really bad thing or a good thing, no in between. I jump when Maggie opens the passenger door.

"Alright, let's go." She says, and we are on our way to the hospital.

The whole car ride is silent until we are pulling into the parking lot. "So, do you think she's gotten better?"

"I don't know. She strong, that's for sure, so hopefully. She's been through too much to not make it through this." We get out of the car and walk to the main hospital doors.

"That's true. I just hope she gets better, for Owens sake."

"Me too." I say as we enter the elevators. "Should we update Nathan?"

"If you want to, but Owen doesn't want him around so I would ask Owen first."

"That's fair, I guess." The elevator doors slide open, and we both head toward the nurse's station to find out her room number. "Megan Hunt's room number please?"

"Room 2028." The nurse didn't even look up.

"Thank you." We walk in that direction, but stop before going in when we see Owen come out of the room.

"How is she doing?" Maggie asks.

"Better. She is awake, following commands, and talking a little. She hasn't eaten yet but I think they said they are going try tomorrow morning to get her to eat." Owen smiled, looking into her room.

"That's good. Is now a good time to see her?" I ask.

"Actually it is a good time-" He trailed off, and lost the smile on his face. "What is he doing here?"

Maggie and I both whipped around to see Nathan waking toward us. "Uh I don't know." Maggie replied innocently.

"Hey mate." Nathan said as he reached us.

"You are not allowed to see her." Owen replies sternly.

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I said so." Owen raised an eyebrow, and looks like he is ready to punch Nathan.

"Well I don't care what the hell you think. I will see her if I want-"

I do the only thing I can think of to shut him up. To save home from getting punched by Owen. Just to protect him. For the second time today, my lips find his. He starts to pull away, but my hands find the back of his head, where his hair is still wet, and pull him down to me. I let myself enjoy it for a few seconds before pulling away.

"What-what was that for?" He looks confused, as does Owen. Maggie has her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.

"To shut you up. Before you said anything stupid that could get you in trouble. You still want to see Megan right?" I swallow roughly, noticing how many people were now around us watching, waiting for the next move.

"Yeah, I do. Thank you." He whispers loud enough for only me to hear.

Owen has hit fists all balled up ready to punch someone. I stand in front of Nathan, not wanting him to get punched again. "Owen, no. Just let him see Megan."

"Fine. I want to be there to make sure you don't hurt her."

"See, that's a compromise." I say, trying to stay positive.

We all file into her room, where Amelia is sitting on the chair next to Megan, with wide eyes. I assume it is that Owen let Nathan in the room, because Megan also has the wide eyed look. It is quiet for a moment before anyone says anything.

"Meg, how are you feeling?" Nathan asks, standing at the side of her bed.

"Not well."

"Well, what is wrong? We will try to fix it Megan." I say softly.

"What is wrong? I just found out who the slut is that you've been with while I was gone." I hear the jealousy in her voice.

It takes me a couple second to get that it was me. All the eyes in the room are now trained on me, and I can feel my cheeks turning hot red. I bite my lip as I turn to leave, not wanting to be there any longer.

* * *

 **A cliffhanger, as usual ;)**

 **So I've got some ideas for some new stories, so keep an eye out 'cause I plan on starting those soon! (Merder stories!)**


	17. The Coffee Shop

**Thank you to all my reviewers from the last chapter!**

 **I wanted to wait to post this till my one year since I started this story, but I decided I couldn't wait as I have already started the next part (Which I will try to get up on the one year, no promises) + this is one of my longest chapters & quickest updates, so make sure you read the part before this!**

 **Anyways, enough about me, enjoy!**

* * *

 **Nathan's POV**

We all file into Megan's room. Amelia is sitting in the chair next to her bed. Amelia and Megan's both have the same wide eyed look, and I figure it is because of me. Several seconds go by without anyone saying anything.

"Meg, how are you feeling?" I ask while moving to the side of her bed.

"Not well."

"Well, what's wrong? We will try to fix it, Megan." Meredith says softly. Meredith stands at the foot of her bed, watching her intently.

"What is wrong? I just found out who the slut is that you've been with while I was gone." Her eyes don't leave me as she speaks and I can clearly hear the jealousy in her voice.

My eyes immediately look to Meredith. Everyone does. Her cheeks start to turn pink and she bites her bottom lip before running out of the room.

"Megan, what the hell was that for?" I feel my temper coming out.

"What was what for?"

"Calling Meredith a slut, that's uncalled for." I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself.

"Well, she is, is she not?" All I could hear was the sarcasm in her voice.

"Meredith is NOT a slut." I say raising my voice. I glance to Owen to see that I'm about to cross the line with him but Amelia looks ready to defend Meredith. "We will finish this conversation later."

I push past Owen and out into the hall where Meredith and Maggie are. Maggie has an arm wrapped around Meredith and they are leaning against the wall. Meredith seems fine, but I know she puts up a tough front.

"Meredith." I reach out to touch her but she flinches away.

"Sorry." She whispers, barely audible.

"Sorry? What have you got to be sorry for?" I ask, unsure what she means.

"For being here."

"Why would you be sorry for that?"

"Because I'm pretty sure I got you in more trouble with Owen." She admits. She didn't directly get me in trouble, it's my temper that gets me in trouble.

"Meredith," I stop myself before calling her a pet name. "Mer, my temper gets me in trouble."

Her eyes finally leave the floor and they find mine. I desperately try to read them, try to figure out what is going on behind those green eyes, but I get nothing.

"Nathan, she saw us kiss. We kissed in front of that window, you know that one, that leads to her room. She saw it." Meredith takes a couple steps toward me, and swiftly turns back to Maggie. Once she reached Maggie, which was only a few steps away, she turned back to me. She repeated this as she talked. "There is no denying that. Why would I have any reason to kiss you unless we were involved somehow? Can I blame her for calling me that? No because you and I aren't together. We're idiots. I shouldn't have kissed you. We shouldn't be kissing at all in the first place. God, we are stupid. Stupid to think that the kissing is okay, especially when you a fiancée, whether or not you have decided to stay with her." Meredith rambled.

I tug her arm when she nears me again, and pull her toward me. My hand slides under her chin, and pushes it upwards, forcing her to look at me. "Mer, she was going to find out one way or another, but she had no right to call you that. Yes, we aren't together, but I'm not with her either. You need to calm down okay? She will realize how amazing of a person you are and regret saying that. Don't ever put yourself down over what one person says."

I watch as she nibbles on her bottom lip. I glance over to Maggie, who is watching us intently. Meredith takes a baby step away from me, but my hands are still holding her, keeping her from running.

"Don't listen to her Meredith. She just found out who her fiancée was with while she was trapped in a hole for ten years. I bet she is a little upset. Give her some time, she'll come around." Maggie chimes in.

"Okay." Meredith says, avoiding my eyes. She stares at something behind me, while I can't help but stare at her.

"Okay is all I get?" I ask.

"Let's give her some time to cool off. Then we will tell her our story, the whole thing."

"The whole thing?" I raise my eyebrows at the thought.

"Minus the details she doesn't need to know." Her eyes finally find mine again. "You know what details I mean."

"Oh, like the steamy night in the backseat of your car where you couldn't get enough of me?" I smile.

"Ewww." Maggie squeals, covering her ears like a child.

She sighs, but smiles. "Especially those details."

"Anything else we shouldn't mention? Probably not the plane or the day after huh?" I wink at her, and Maggie's face scrunches up.

"I don't want to hear about my sister's sex life!" She scoffs.

"Those too. No sex details. If she's asks, we have slept together, but nothing more." Her voice drops real low and her eyes are now on the floor. "And nothing about the pregnancy and miscarriage. That would be way too much for her to handle."

"Of course." I slide my hands up and down her forearms in attempt to comfort her. I feel the goosebumps pop up along her skin and she shivers, taking a step away from me while crossing her arms.

She is now facing the wall, not looking either me or Maggie. Maggie mouths something about getting food and points to Meredith, who completely isn't paying attention and is currently in her own little world.

"Meredith, how about we go get some coffee or something?" She doesn't respond, nor moves so I ask again, this time I walk over to her and put my hand on her back, careful not to let slide down too low. No matter how much I want to, I resist the urge, not wanting to upset her more. "Meredith, how about we go get some coffee?"

"Coffee sounds good."

With my hand on her back, we make our way to the elevator. Once the elevator doors shut, she rests her head on my shoulder. I enjoy the moment, knowing once those doors open she separate from me.

"Can we go somewhere else and get coffee? I'm so tired of hospital coffee, but it's fine if you don't really want to leave, I can drink the hospital coffee."

"If that's what you want, then yes. I hate hospital coffee too. I'm pretty sure we all just tolerate it." We stay unmoving, but my hand slides around to her side and pulls her a little closer for the last couple seconds of the elevator ride.

She sighs softly. "Are you sure you are okay with leaving?" She moves her head so that she is now able to see my face.

"I told you already, it's fine." I lean down and kiss her forehead, and she sort of smiles. The elevator dings, and as expected she jumps apart from me.

"Okay, so where are we going?" She asks, letting herself walk a little closer as we head toward the exit.

"Um, just a little coffee shop down the road, nothing extravagant."

"There's a coffee shop down the road and I don't know about it?" She raises an eyebrow at me.

"Yes, there is. It is newer, and I'm friends with the owner."

Her face looks completely skeptical. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"Well you'll be believing in a few minutes then." I wink at her, and her face looks more confused than ever. "Okay, so, my car or yours?"

"Um, I don't feel like driving, so yours. Plus, every time you get in mine it just brings up some interesting memories."

"Interesting? That's what you use to describe it? Those memories are hot, and unforgettable." I grin, and she elbows me.

"Shut up and just take me to get some coffee. I really would rather have so tequila but we will more than likely end up coming back to the hospital tonight."

"How about I show you this coffee place, then we come back and get you some tequila at Joe's? We can come back to the hospital tomorrow; it's getting late anyways." I walk around to the passenger side of the car with her, and open the door for her.

She just shakes her head and tries to hide a small smile, but I can still see it. "That's fine by me."

"Alright, let's go."

The ride is relatively short, and we stayed quiet the whole ride. It wasn't till I was pulling into the parking lot that Meredith said anything.

"Umm so, is this an actual place or are you messing with me? I see like one light on and there is literally no one here."

"Shhh. Enough questions, just follow me." I turn off the ignition, and get out of the car. I wait a moment for Meredith to follow. She sits in the car for about a minute with her arms crossed before deciding to get out.

"This is creepy. If you get me killed I'm coming back to haunt you." I watch as she keeps checking behind her.

"You are gonna be fine, I promise." We walk around back, and I knock on the door. We stand there for a minute before anyone answers.

"Hey Nathan, come on in." Travis says, opening the door wider and stepping back to let us in.

Meredith doesn't budge though. I walk back to her and my hand finds her lower back and nudges her toward the door. Again, I'm tempted to slide my hand down further but I resist and take my hand off her back the moment she's through the door. "Creepy." She whispers.

Travis takes us to the main part of the building, where the coffee shop is going to be. I knew Meredith didn't know about it yet because it had yet to open. The walls were half painted, and all the furniture was still either wrapped in plastic or the boxes they came in, besides a few bean bags and bar stools. He had set up a little area with bar stools where you can go up and get more coffee, as well as plans for plenty of comfy places all over. The coffee bar was the only area done so far, and that's where we sit when I come have coffee with him. I lead Meredith over and help her get up on a bar stool.

"It's set to open in a couple weeks, if we can get everything done by then. I hate painting, and my wife sucks at it, so it's been slowing coming along. I've been letting her do the decorations and plan how we are setting up the various couches. Nathan stops by often to get coffee, since he loves my coffee so much. We've been friends for years, and he is the one who convinced me I should open a coffee shop, and here I am. Anyways, would you like a coffee?" Travis explained to Meredith about this place. I watched as she looked around while he made her coffee.

"Nathan." She waits till I'm facing her before she continues. "We should help him finish up. If it's as good as you say it is, it will be packed in here. Plus, I can't do any surgeries for a week, and my other hand is completely fine."

I'm taken aback by what she says. She always is helping people, no matter what. "That's a wonderful idea. We will talk to him about it when he is finished with our coffees."

"I'm full of amazing ideas you know."

"I do know." It's one of those rare moment with her, when I get a genuine smile, and I can tell she's happy. She always seems happier whenever she's helping someone. I wish she'd smile more, since she has that gorgeous smile that just takes your breath away. I have this goal of making her smile more, but I feel like it will be easier to do whenever the whole Megan thing is figured out.

"Coffees are done." Travis says, placing our coffees in front of us.

I move mine closer to me, but I don't take a drink yet. I watch Meredith take a sip of hers, and her sigh afterwards. "Damn, that is some good ass coffee."

"Thank you. So, how do you know Nathan? You gotta be a close friend for him to bring you here before it's even open." Travis said as I shook my head furiously at him.

I watch as she nervously rubs her thighs. "I uh, we are just friends. Worked together quite a few times. I actually just had an injury to one of my hands so I won't be working for like a week." She shows him her bandaged hand. "My other hand is just fine if you want some help, I don't mind painting."

"Oh I would love that! Thank you so much!" Travis looked delighted to not have to paint as much.

"You're welcome. Anything I can do to help. This place will be packed when it opens, I can definitely tell you that."

"I hope so."

"I know so." There it is again, her incredibly gorgeous smile. Her smile brings a smile to my face.

We both finish up our coffee, thank Travis and set a time to help tomorrow. I lead her back to my Range Rover, and open the passenger door once again. Now we are heading to Joe's for Meredith to get some tequila.

"Thank you for showing me that coffee place, his coffee is amazing. I can't wait for it to open; I'll be at that grand opening for sure!"

"You're welcome. I will be there whenever it opens too, trust me." I say.

"I figured you would."

"Yeah." I decide to ask her the question that has been bothering me since earlier. I just worry she'll act fine, or shut me. My right hand finds her thigh, while the other is on the steering wheel.

She furrows her brows at my hand. "I don't want to be rude but, uh, your hand?"

"Meredith, I want to talk to you."

It's dead silent, and I hear her inhale sharply. She wraps her arms around her small figure, like she's protecting herself. "About what?"

"I get the feeling that you still aren't okay after the miscarriage. You won't talk about it, and whenever I bring it up you shut me out. I'm just want to know if you are okay, you can tell me if you aren't." I rip off the bandage, just letting how I feel out.

"Nathan, I'm fine." She asserts but keeps her eyes trained out the window.

"I don't know that I believe you. Meredith, I know what you went through was horrible, and I can't completely understand it, but just talk to me."

As the silence drags on, I realize she may just keep shutting me out. We are almost to Joe's now, and I know once we go in there the topic will be dropped. I park the car and turn off the ignition once again. I start to reach for the door handle when she finally speaks.

"It's hard. It took me so long to get over my first miscarriage. I was just about okay with it when I found out that I am likely to miscarry again. It took me months. I don't think I was truly okay with it until had Zola in my arms. But still, the thought of another miscarriage terrified me. After two pregnancies, I thought I was alright. I hadn't had a miscarriage since the first one, so I thought it was alright. Holding that positive pregnancy test in my hand, I just thought about the future. What it would be like with another little one running around. Where we would be. The miscarriage tore those happy future thoughts from me. It just hurts to think about what could have been, and no, I don't like to talk about it. It was hard enough going through it, and I don't like reliving it. So, maybe I'm not completely fine, but I'm getting there." With that, she leaves the car and heads into Joe's, leaving me to think about her words.

She had thought about a future with us. She has mentioned that. I inhale and exhale deeply, trying not to over think about it. She said she is getting better and that she doesn't want to talk about it, so I should probably leave her alone for now. It would be best.

So I head into the bar. I immediately see her blonde tresses and take a seat in the stool next to her.

"Tequila please." She tells the bartender.

"I'll have a beer." I add, and the bartender nods before going to make our drinks.

"You paying?" She asks.

"Yeah, I wouldn't make you pay."

"Oh okay, cause I'm pretty sure I left my wallet in your car."

"That's fine. I still have to take you home afterwards anyways." Or to the hospital, whatever she wants.

"Thanks for this. For showing me the coffee shop and taking me to get some well needed tequila." She says right as our drinks arrive. She throws her head back and takes the whole shot of tequila in one swallow. "Excuse me, can I get another?"

"You're welcome and you must really like that stuff, huh?"

"Yeah, it's my go to drink." She licks off any remaining on her lips.

"A tough one for sure." She nods. "So, you ready to do some painting tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yeah, since I can't do much else." She replies, never looking in my direction. The bartender sets down another shot of tequila, and like the last it's gone in seconds. "Another one, please."

I sip on my beer, knowing at the rate she's going I'm definitely driving. So when the bartender comes back with her shot, I ask for some ice water. Once again, she takes the shot like a champ, and asks for another. She repeats this a few more times, and in no time it's obvious that she is drunk.

"I think, I think I need another shot sir." She tells me, and I cannot help but laugh.

"I think that's enough for tonight, okay?" I smile, handing her the ice water.

"I said tequila, not water. You can't tell me I've had enough!" She drunkenly slams her hand on the bar, getting the attention of many. "Ow, that was my injured hand." She wines.

"Alright, I think it's time to go." I say standing up.

"I want one shot. Pleaseeeeeee?" She asks in such a childish way, and I let her have just one more. She takes the shot quickly, shivering after she took it.

"Time to go." I say, grabbing her arm and helping her to her feet.

She doesn't move though. "The room is spinning; I don't think I can walk." She hiccups.

"I've got you." I slide my hand around her waist, and hold her firmly. We take baby steps out the bar and to the car, making sure she doesn't fall. I help her into the car and buckle her seat belt before getting in the car myself.

I stare at the drunken woman next to me. I can't take her home like this, not to a house with kids. So, I start driving to my apartment, and I get the feeling I'll regret this in the morning.

She leans over the middle console and rests her head on my shoulder. Her hand falls uncomfortably in my lap, and I can't help but inhale sharply.

That causes her to lift her head up. "Wha, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing."

She moves closer to the side of my face, and her breath on my ear tickles a little, but I try my best to ignore it. "You are really tense. I can help with that." She whispers seductively.

"No, I'm fine, really." I squeeze the steering wheel tightly, trying to stop the blood from flowing down south.

"Mhmm, I beg to differ." She whispers, kissing my neck.

"Meredith, stop. You're drunk." I grunt.

She pulls back, looking dumbfounded. "So?"

"So, that's exactly why we shouldn't do anything." I say, keeping my eyes on the road.

"We? You don't have to do any of the work. You are driving you know." I glance over and see her lick her lips, and I know exactly what she is implying.

"Meredith, I need to focus on driving." I give any reason to stop her.

"Have you never done it before?" She asks, sounding shocked.

"Meredith I have, I just don't want to right now."

"Something tells me otherwise." She points to my lap, which has become really obvious.

"Meredith..."

"Shh." She puts a finger to my lips. "I've got you." She adds before giving me a quick kiss.

Now I am pulling into my apartment's parking lot, and I sigh of relief that I can get out of this. Normally, I wouldn't mind but she is very drunk.

Her hands fumble with my belt as I park, and as soon as I do I stop her. "Come on, we are at my apartment. Let's go inside."

"Ooh, I like the idea of that."

I swallow roughly, realizing this might be harder than I originally thought. I help her out of the car, and up the stairs. She tries to kiss me about as many times as she almost falls, but I resist.

Once we are through my door, she immediately takes off her shirt. "Come on, let's do it."

I take deep breaths, and try to remember that she is very drunk. "Uh, let's go to the bathroom."

"Ohh, some steamy sex?" She asks as I lead her to the bathroom, but once we get there she throws up in the toilet.

I rub her back, and get something to wipe her face with. "Not so hot, huh?" She manages to say, and I can't help but laugh.

"Not really." I laugh, wiping her face again. "You think you are done?"

"Yeah, I think so."

With that, I help her up and to my bedroom. I sit her on the foot of the bed while I grab some clothes. I take off her jeans, and throw them aside. Next I take off her bra, and I try to keep myself from looking to much before sliding my t-shirt over her head. I help her under the covers before I strip down to just my boxers, and slide onto the other side of the bed.

She rolls into me, her face against my chest, and I can't help but wrap an arm around her. I just about to drift off to sleep when she speaks.

"I love you Nathan."

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 **As usual, a bit of a cliff hanger. But the question is, will Meredith remember that in the morning?**

 **As you can probably tell, I have had a lot of inspo lately, and I hope that continues as I start my summer classes. If they become to much, I will have to back away from this story for a bit, but I think I can handle it :)**

 **As always, _please review :)_ **

**_P.S: Those new stories I mentioned, I started working on them too!_**


	18. I Didn't Mean It

**A/N :** **So it been a year since I started this story, a year! I can't believe how far it came. I remember writing the first chapter after the season 13 finale, just because I couldn't get the idea of what would happen if Nathan was in an accident out of my head! I definitely didn't plan on continuing the story, I thought I would just write a chapter or two. But here I am, a year later, on chapter 18 and starting more stories.**

 **Here comes the sappy part of the authors note: This story has changed me. It made me realize how much I enjoy writing. It has also helped me improve as a writer, in many ways. I really don't know where I would be if I hadn't started this story, and I have you guys to thank for that. Thanks for sticking with me through all plot twists, and me just being flat out mean to the characters. I hope you continue to enjoy this story as much as I have. :)**

 **P.S. I have started another story, and I have a few more in mind that I will start shortly!**

 ***I did notice that on my phone it says I started this story on the 29th, but on my laptop it says the the 28th so I decided just to post it today :)**

* * *

I hadn't even opened my eyes yet, but I can feel my head pounding. Definitely need some Advil.

I notice I am cuddling something warm, so I doubt it's my pillow. I open my eyes to see his chest, rising and falling in a steady pattern. Immediately I jump up out of the bed and back myself into the wall, but at the same time I have woken Nathan.

He jumps out of the bed, and stands in front of me, facing the doorway, with a knife in his hands. After a few seconds, he relaxes, and turns to face me. "You scared the hell out of me, I thought someone had broken in or something."

"I'm, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, really." He smiles, and tosses the knife onto the dresser. "That's one hell of a way to wake me up though."

Now I notice that I am in one of his t-shirts, and my underwear, and he is just wearing his boxers. I take a moment to let my eyes travel up and down his toned body, but quickly find his eyes again.

"So, do you like what you see, or do you just randomly eyeball guys who are half naked?"

A million things are going through my mind at once. More specifically, trying to piece together what happened last night. I can't help but notice how close he is standing, and how I'm up against the wall. I swallow roughly, and hope he doesn't notice.

"Meredith, are you okay?"

"Just confused, I don't remember much from last night."

"Babe-" He stops mid-sentence, but not fast enough to stop himself from saying that. His eye widens, and he bites his lower lip. "I, I didn't, I didn't mean to say that, it just slipped out." He steps away from me.

"It's okay, really." I don't move from the wall, and he just scratches the back of his head. That's when I notice a little pink mark on his neck, and I cringe a little, knowing that had to have been me. "Can I get some Advil? And maybe some coffee?"

"Yeah, let's go to the kitchen and I can make you breakfast if you'd like."

I nod, and follow him into the kitchen, and take a seat at the table while he gets the Advil and starts on the coffee. I just watch as he moves around the kitchen, until there is coffees sitting in front of both of us.

I take a sip, but my eyes never leave him. "I'm afraid to ask, but what happened last night?"

"Meredith, I didn't let anything happen, I promise." He assures me, but I don't feel convinced. He gets up to start on breakfast, so now his back is to me.

"So was something going to happen?" I ask.

"No." He responds blankly.

"But there's a hickey on your neck. I know for damn sure Megan didn't give that to you and I was with you last night so I would assume it was me unless something happened at the bar that I don't remember?"

He lets out a little bit of a chuckle. "Well, you were right about the Megan part, but that hickey was most definitely you. I didn't even think to look for one, but it's funny that you think I'd get a hickey from some random girl at the bar, while I had you with me."

I clear my throat. "So, I gave you that hickey? And you swear nothing else happened?"

"I swear." He turns to face me. "Do you want to know how it happened at least?"

"Uh, yes, because I have trouble believing nothing happened."

He laughs a little before turning back to the stove. "Meredith, I was driving us here because I didn't want to let you go home like that with a house full of kids. You decided that you wanted to give me road head." I cringe at his words. "While you were trying to convince me, you were kissing on my neck. I didn't think you would have left a hickey, but then again I was trying to focus on the road and not you."

"That's a bit relieving." I sigh, but can't help but laugh at my drunk self for offering that. "Anything else?"

"Not much." He sets a plate of pancakes and bacon in front of me, and sits across from me with his own plate.

"By not much you mean..." I trail off, hoping he would tell me the rest.

"You took off your shirt the minute you got into my apartment. It was hot, really," I can't help but smile at the hot comment. "But restrained myself from doing anything since I knew you were drunk. Then the puking started, and you were exhausted. So, I helped you into one of my t-shirts, and put you to bed."

I watch him for a moment, and pick up on the fact that he won't look at me. That's when I get the feeling that he isn't telling me everything. "Nathan, what else happened?"

"Nothing, that was it." He stares at his plate.

"You are lying." I stand, getting frustrated. "Tell me what else happened."

"Meredith..." He trailed off.

"Nathan, tell me right now or I won't talk to you ever again." I slam my hand down on the table, getting frustrated.

He stands, and his eyes finally find mine. He grabs ahold of my hand, and I just furrow my eyebrows. "Meredith, before you went to sleep..." He pauses, and breaks eye contact.

"Spit it out already." It can't be that big of a deal, if we had sex, it's fine. If we kissed, it's fine, it's not like it's going to change our current relationship.

"Meredith, you said you loved me."

I inhale sharply, and pull my hand from his. "I was drunk; it didn't mean anything." I cross my arms across my chest.

"Meredith, you wouldn't have said it if you weren't feeling that way." He speaks softly, as if that will calm me down.

"Nathan, I don't feel that way about you." I fire back.

"What if I feel that way about you?" He asks gently, and I already know he feels this way. I overheard him at that dinner when he told Owen, I've just wondered when he would actually tell me, and I guess that time is now.

"So? I don't feel the same way." I fold my arms across my chest. "Just because you feel that way doesn't mean I should."

"Meredith, do you have any feelings for me? Or is it just the sex? Are you really that cold hearted?" He raises his voice.

That one stings a little. "I'm not cold hearted, you are just an ass." I hiss back.

"I'm the ass? That's big coming from the person who hated me for months because of what one person said." He fumed.

"Yeah, you are the ass. You should have taken me home last night, and I wish I had never slept with you that night in my car. Maybe I would have some normalcy in my life if I hadn't." I watch as he balls his fists, and squeezes them to control his anger.

He lets of huff of air. "I wish I hadn't fallen for you. Out of everyone, I fall for the cold hearted bitch that doesn't have feelings. My luck. I'm definitely going back to Megan, at least she'd admit that she had feelings for me."

I bite my bottom lip, and fight back the tears. He wasn't wrong, ever since Derek died, I haven't been able to let anyone else in, in that's all my fault. "I'm sorry." I mumble, my eyes finding the ground.

"Meredith, you don't get it." He softens. "I am in love with you. I have fallen for you; damn it I fell hard. I love you."

My eyes slowly wonder back up to find his. The icy blue eyes are unreadable. "So, you are going back to Megan?" I say softly.

"Meredith." He says, reaching out to me but I just jerk back away from him.

"That's what you said did you not? You said it to hurt me, and well you did. Maybe I'm just not read to admit my feelings yet, or I don't know how but I do have feelings for you. But since you are going back to Megan, I guess I can just continue to ignore them like the cold hearted bitch I am." I find myself staring back at the ground again, unsure of what to say or do.

"Meredith, I didn't mean it."

"Then why the hell did you say it? You wouldn't have said it if you hadn't thought about it before." I bite the inside of my lip, hoping he doesn't realize what I just said is the same thing he said about me.

"Because... because..." He runs a hand furiously through his hair. "It's what I used to think about you, before I got to know you."

"And now the truth comes out." I laugh sarcastically. "So that night when I jumped you, what did you think of the cold hearted bitch jumping you? And pulling you into her car for sex? What did you think of that night?"

"I thought you just wanted sex. You were so angry that day, and I figured you used sex to channel that anger." He sits back down, resting his head in his hands.

I stay standing, unmoving. "So when I was trying to protect Maggie's feelings, was I still cold hearted then?" I raise an eyebrow, waiting on this answer.

"That's when I realized that you did have a heart. I watched as you pushed me away, to protect her. Then you told me about your other sister, and I knew once I got close you'd be protective of me too. And that's when it clicked why you were protective over Owen. Anyone you are close to, you try to protect will all of your might, whether you realize it or not. You're afraid of losing them, like you did your sister and husband." He finally looks up at me, and I don't see any more anger in his features.

"So I'm not a cold hearted bitch then, am I?" I ask, putting a hand on my hip.

"No, you're not. I thought you were for the longest time, but once I got to know you I realized how loving and sweet natured you are. You are just hard to get to know, that's all." He stands back up and stares into my eyes. "I have a temper Meredith, so I tend to say things I don't mean when I'm mad, but I'm serous when I say I am in love with you."

"But you love Megan too." I add, breaking the eye contact.

"Meredith..." He trails off.

"Exactly why we can't be more than friends till you figure out who you want to be with. I don't do love triangles, okay?"

"Okay. As long as we are friends." He gives in.

"Okay, that's good." I sigh, finally relaxing from the heat of the argument.

"Meredith, I don't think I can just be friends with you." I look at him quizzically before he stands up and walks towards me. Next thing I know, his lips are on mine and I'm up against a wall.

I don't kiss him back right away, or at least not until my back is against the wall. I give into my strong feelings for him. One of my hands tangle in his hair, and the other is on the side of his face, keeping him from leaving. I never touched my breakfast that he made, but he tastes like a mix of coffee and pancakes. Sweet, and I can't seem to get enough.

He has one hand on my hip pulling me close and the other tangled in my hair. He moves to my jawline, and traces it with soft kisses. Slowly, and teasingly he moves down to my neck, and back up to my lips.

He pulls away, but rests his forehead against mine. "I just can't stay away from you." He says breathlessly while caressing my cheek. "That's why we can't be just friends."

"But we have been for weeks."

"Meredith, I don't think you understand how badly I've wanted to kiss you every time I see you." His lips brush mine quickly. "It's just so complicated with Megan, I know it's best not to do what we are doing right now."

"Oh." I run my hands through his hair again, trying to figure out what to say. I giggle, and he just gives me a questioning glance. "You do realize, like two minutes ago we were fighting, and now we are making out?"

"Now we a just talking, but we can be making out if you want to?" He jokes.

"I mean, I would love too but I doubt we could keep it PG." I smile, happy that we aren't arguing anymore.

"True, true." He moves away from the wall, letting me free.

"What time is it?" I ask, as a scan the room for a clock.

"I have no idea, why?"

"I was thinking we should visit Megan today before we go help your friend." I stand on my tippy toes and kiss his check, before heading back to where I sat at the table before. "You go get dressed, while I actually eat some of this breakfast. I'll throw on my clothes from yesterday, but we are stopping by my house so I can get some clean ones."

"Bossy."

* * *

"Okay, so I grabbed my makeup bag in case you wanted to cover up that hickey before we see Megan." I slide into the passenger seat of his car, feeling better that I had freshened up.

"Uh, yeah, that probably would be a good idea."

"I though so." I open my makeup bag, and look for the various thing I might need. I pull out concealer and some foundation. "Alright, so I don't have my setting spray, so try not to touch your neck to much or the makeup might rub off."

"Okay, how long will this take?" He glances over at me.

I shrug my shoulders. "Just a couple minutes. You can start driving; I do my own makeup while driving sometimes."

"Isn't that a little dangerous?" He asks, pulling out of the driveway.

"Well, I don't really wear makeup anymore except for special occasions, and I was pretty skilled at it." I open my stick concealer, and lightly apply it over the hickey. "Most times I just put concealer under my eyes to cover the dark circles, but honestly, I'd rather sleep in the extra few minutes than do my makeup."

"You would look gorgeous either way."

I pull away to laugh at him, but then continue what I was doing. "Whatever you say."

I attempt to blend it with the rest of his neck, but if you look close enough, you can see the lighter strip of skin. He turns to look at me once he reaches a stoplight, and our faces are inches apart. My eyes fall to his lips, and he inches a little closer. I can feel his breath on face, but then someone honking their horn behind us causes us to split. I sit back in my seat, facing out the window.

The rest of the ride is silent. We walk into the hospital together, but continue stay quiet. It's not until we are in the elevator that I decide to speak up.

"So, what are we telling Megan? I don't think we should both go in there. I'm fine with staying in the waiting room or something, plus my car is here. I could just meet you at the coffee shop later." I ramble.

"If that's what you want to do, then that's what we will do." He stays facing the doors, and doesn't turn to look at me, so I do the same.

"Okay."

"Okay." The elevator doors open, and we head down the hall to her room. I stop before the door and windows, so she won't see me.

"If Amelia is in there, can you tell her to come to the waiting room? I've got something to ask her." I ask, avoiding eye contact with him.

"I can do that, yeah."

"Thank you." I mumble, before turning to head to the family waiting area.

I take a seat in one of the comfier chairs while I wait for Amelia. It doesn't take long for to round the corner and take a seat next to me.

"Nathan said you wanted to see me, what's up?"

I glance at her stomach, and she just looks a little chubby. "How's have you been feeling?"

"Pretty good." She puts a hand on her lower abdomen. "The morning sickness is slowly starting to wear down, thank goodness."

"That's good."

"Is that all you wanted to see me about?" She asks, with an eyebrow raised.

I shake my head. "No, remember at the dinner when Nathan said he loved me?"

"Yeah, why?"

"He actually said it to me this morning."

Her eyes widen. "He did? What did you say back?"

"That I didn't feel the same way." I say softly, now avoiding eye contact with her.

"Meredith! Okay, well what prompted him to say it?" She questions, and tries to get me to look at her.

"I guess I drunkenly said 'I love you' to home last night. I don't remember doing it or even why I would say that."

"Well, you wouldn't have said it if you didn't feel that way, right?"

"I don't feel that way!" I raise my voice a little, and get some stares from people around the room.

"Mhm. Sure." She crosses her arms across her chest. "Just keep lying to yourself."

"Why did I want to talk to you again?" I ask, unsure why I picked Amelia for this conversation.

"Uh, because I'm awesome, that's why." She boasted.

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that." We both laugh.

"Meredith?" This causes us both to stop laughing and to look Nathan's way.

"Yeah?"

"Megan wants to see you. She wants to talk to you alone."

* * *

 **Ooooh, what does Megan want to talk to Meredith about?**

 ***There might be a longer break between this chapter and the next, as my summer classes have started, and they are my priority, but I'll get it out as soon as I can! + I just started another story, so I will try to alternate between the two!**


	19. The Paint Fight

**Thank you guys for all the lovely reviews, each and everyone of them make me smile :)**

 **Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

I am sitting beside Amelia, anxiously waiting for Meredith to come out of Megan's room. When I went in there, Megan said she wanted to talk to Meredith alone, but not what she wanted to talk about. I tapped my foot rapidly, hoping Megan wouldn't say anything rude like she did last time.

Several minutes passed by in silence. "Did Megan say what she wanted to talk to Meredith about?"

"She didn't say." I reply without even looking Amelia's way.

"Oh. Uh, on a different note, Meredith told me about her being drunk and saying 'I love you', and you saying it this morning."

"Some days she seems like she is happy with me, then there are the days where everything I say is wrong. I just don't get her sometimes." I sigh, and run my hand over my face.

Amelia turns to face me. "It's like that with Meredith. She's very hard to get close too. We just recently got close and stopped fighting all the time. It takes time, and she does not like to open up to just anyone."

I nod my head. "Yeah, I've noticed. I wish I could take back time saying I love you this morning."

Amelia stifles a laugh. "That won't have mattered."

"Why not?" I ask, now turning to face her.

"The uh, dinner the other night. She heard you tell Owen that you loved her."

I raise my eyebrows. "She did? I thought she went to the bathroom."

"She actually just went around the corner to get out of the room. Then you said it, and she heard it. That's when she went to the bathroom."

"She never said anything about it, not even this morning." She already knew how I felt. I just wish she felt the same way. My feelings for her are so strong, and it's making it hard to even think about picking between her and Megan.

"I don't know Nathan." She shrugged. "She probably just didn't know how to bring it up."

I rest my face in my palm, already ready to go to bed and it's barely afternoon. "True."

"For all it's worth though, I know she has fallen for you. Her feelings for you are strong. Maybe it's love, maybe it's not. Whatever it is, she'll tell you when she is ready." Amelia place her hand on mine in a comforting way. "She will be ready eventually, and I think it will be soon."

"I just wish there was an easy way to decide who to be with. I love them both, but it's different for both of them. Meredith wants me to have my miracle dream, but I think she is my new dream."

Amelia pulls back her hand abruptly and covers her mouth. She nods quickly before dodging toward the bathroom, leaving me alone.

I take a moment to glance around the waiting room at all the hopeful families and can't help but wonder if I had seemed as crazy and sleep deprived as them when Megan had her surgery. I'm sure I was, even though most of that night is a blur to me now. I vaguely remember falling asleep with Meredith on my shoulder, but I don't know if I had made that up in the blur of the night. I do remember yelling at Meredith, very vividly. I just wish there was a way to redo the night, and fix everything that went wrong. Maybe everything would be easier if I could.

Meredith rounding the corner brings me out of my thoughts. "What happened? How did it go?"

"It went fine." She stated as she got closer, before putting a hand on her hip. "You ready to go to your friend's to help paint?"

I turn my head to the side, trying to see if I could read her body language, since she is being her stubborn self. "Uh, yeah. Let's go then."

She pulls her purse onto her shoulder and turns to leave in a swift moment, leaving me to wonder what they talked about in that room. In my peripheral vision I see Amelia emerge from the bathroom, with her hair tied up and a place face.

"I'm going to go find Owen." She says while walking past me.

"Okay." I say to no one, before following Meredith down the hall.

It only takes a moment for me to catch up to her, and I place my hand on her back. She flinches away, and I just let my hand drop to my side. "Uh, how was the talk with Megan?"

"It was good." She doesn't look in my direction at all and just presses the first floor button on the elevator.

"Good? That's all I get?" I ask, shoving my hands in my pockets.

She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and continues to look forward. "Yep."

"Well, can I at least know what you were talking about?" I get the feeling that she is going to be stubborn and not tell me.

She turns her head toward me and shakes her head. "No." She turns back toward the elevator doors. "It was a private conversation."

I scoff. "Really Meredith?"

"Yep." She says before exiting the elevator, leaving me more confused then I was earlier. I shake it off before jogging to catch up with her again.

"Can you at least tell me if it was about me?" I pry.

She stops walking abruptly. "No Nathan, I can't. It was a private conversation between Megan and I, you were not part of it. Stop asking." She turns swiftly, her sweet smelling hair flying right in front of my face.

I walk a few paces behind her, not wanting to upset her more than I already had. Once we reach the car, I decide to speak up. "I'm not going to ask again, okay? I got it, you won't tell me. Can we at least be able to talk to each other while we go help my friend?"

I unlock the doors, and we both get in and put on our seat belts. "I can do that."

"Good." I say as I reverse out of the parking spot.

The serval minutes of silence is slowly starting to drive me crazy, but I have no idea what to start talking about. This morning, her and Megan's talk, and her personal life is pretty much off limits. She hasn't been working so I can't even ask her about a case. It's probably best just to stick to talking about helping my friend. "You ready to get painting?"

"I guess." She responds blatantly, and keeps her eyes focused out the window.

"You guess? You need a little more enthusiasm than that." I glance in her direction, hoping she'll look my way. I'm disappointed when she doesn't, but I'm not totally surprised. I've noticed when something is bothering her she tends to push it away, but I intend to get to the bottom of it.

"Yeah, I'm just tired Nathan. I want to get through the rest of the day and snuggle in bed with my kids." She sighs.

"Well do you want me to take you home now? I can if you really want to."

"No, it's fine. We made a promise to your friend that we would help, and I'm going to back out of this promise."

I turn down the street that coffee shop is on. "Okay."

Once again, the car is filled with silence except for the hum of the engine. Thankfully, it's only like a minute or two until I'm pulling into the parking space, and we are both heading inside.

Travis greets us both, and heads back to get us both coffees, leaving Meredith and I to figure out where to start. "Is there a certain wall or spot you want to start on?"

"This one is fine." She points to the white wall to right of us.

"Sounds good to me." I grab the roller, paint and smaller brushes from one of the tables in the center of the room and bring them over to where Meredith is standing.

She pulls her hair back into a ponytail quickly before reaching down to grab the roller. "I want the roller."

"That's fine, I use the brushes and go around the edges." I pour some of the paint into the little plastic container for the roller.

Meredith pushes up her sleeves before reaching down to get some paint on the roller, then onto the wall.

Just then Travis appears with our coffees, placing them onto the table near us. Meredith drops the roller, and paint splashes all around.

"Meredith!" I say, wiping the drop of paint from my face.

"There is plastic over everything, stop being a big baby." She giggles, now taking a sip of her coffee.

"I'm not a big baby!" I retort, grabbing my own coffee.

"Yelling over a drop of paint? That sounds like a baby to me." She smiles behind her coffee.

"I'm not a baby." I repeat.

"Let me guess, you are a big, bad man?" She giggles sarcastically while flexing her own tiny muscles.

"Exactly." I grin, putting up my own arms, showing off my much bigger muscles.

She spits out her coffee while laughing. "Okay, you're not a baby. You just act like one."

"I can't win with you, can I?" She shakes her head as she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

"So, are you guys a thing or what?" Travis asks, emerging from the coffee bar with his own coffee.

Meredith chokes on her coffee while shaking her head no. "Uh, no we aren't mate. Just friends."

"Y'all just seem really friendly. You don't have to lie to me."

I swallow nervously, ready to tell him the truth. "We were a thing for a few months, but now we are just friends." Well, at least some of the truth.

"That's nice to see that you guys are still friends. That's really rare for ex's."

I glance at Meredith who has her eyes trained to the floor. "Well, it is really confusing, and it sucks most of the time."

"Well, make it not confusing then." Travis takes another sip of his coffee.

"I wish I could mate." Now my eyes find the floor. "Megan was found alive not that long ago, and that's why we broke up. It's was more complicated than just getting back together."

"Oh, I'm sorry mate, I didn't know she was found. How is she?"

"So-so. She was getting better, but then she had another setback, but her PTSD is pretty bad. It's a work in progress." I sigh.

"Oh, well hopefully she gets better soon." He slurps up the rest of his coffee. "I'm going to go clean of the coffee maker, you guys feel free to continue painting."

He leaves Meredith and I alone again. "I'm sorry about that. I never know how to tell people about Megan, or us, it's just all a big mess."

She nods. "I understand. It is confusing, and it's alright to not know."

"Thanks. You ready to get painting?"

"Yeah." She leans down to pick up the roller, and starts on a white section of the wall. I grab my brush, and start near the corner.

I quickly finish the corner, and take a step to the side to do along the ceiling, and I end up stepping on Meredith's foot.

"Ow! Watch it!" She shoves me, and I stumble back catching myself on the wall with my arm.

"Sorry, sorry, I was just trying to move that way," I gesture toward the non-painted area. "And I didn't think you were going to be right up next to me already." I take a moment to admire how quickly she had already painted most of the wall.

"It's fine." She suppresses her laughter.

"What is so funny?" I glance around again, looking for what I'd missed.

"Your arm," She points to my arm on the wall. "You put your arm on wet paint."

"Oh shit!" I yank my arm away, to find my sleeve covered in paint from my wrist to my elbow. "Probably wasn't the smartest idea to wear long sleeves, huh?"

"Nope." She laughs, before continuing painting.

"It's not that funny." I cross my arms.

She covers her mouth in attempt to stop laughing, but ends up laughing anyways. "It really is. Especially since you got more paint all over you."

"What?" I look down, and can very obviously see where I had laid my arm across my chest when I crossed them. "Damn it!"

"Well, I thought I was a mess but I guess you proved me wrong Riggs." She leans down to pick up one of the smaller brushes, and dips into the paint. "To bad that your whole outfit got paint all over it." She smirks.

My eyes immediately glance down to see that it's just my shirt that has paint on it, and that I have no idea what she is talking about. "What do you-"

I don't even get the chance to finish my sentence before she slings the paintbrush, and paint comes flying my way. "See what I mean?" She puts a hand on her hip.

"Meredith Grey, you started a war!" I grab my paintbrush, get some paint on it and sling it at her. She moves out of the way, and it instead goes all over the plastic.

"I think I just won because you suck." She laughs.

"Oh really?" I rush toward her, swiftly pick her up and put her over my shoulder. "No, I definitely won."

I can feel her hands on my back trying to push off of me. "Nathan, put me down right now!"

She kicks her legs, and I wrap my arm around them to stop them. "Not to you admit that I won."

"No! Just put me down!"

"Nope!" I just hope that Travis doesn't walk in right now, because there is no way I'm explaining what is happening right now.

"Remember I own a big chunk of the hospital, so technically I'm your boss and you have to do what I say, and I say put me down!" She thrashes a little bit in my arms.

"Fine! Only because I want to put you down." I walk over to one of the covered bean bag chairs, and throw her down onto it. She sinks in slightly, and crosses her arms.

"Whatever, you cheated." She lets out a huff of air.

"You never said there was any rules."

She kicks at me, and immediately looks scared. "I'm sorry, I forgot you still had a brace on, you just have been walking so well and I'm sure it's almost time to get it off but I just forgot about it. I'm sorry I really didn't mean to." She rambled.

"It's fine, and it doesn't much hurt anymore. And you're right, I do get it off soon, thankfully. It's fine, really."

Her face relaxes a little. "Oh okay, good. I thought I had hurt you."

"No, truly, you are fine." I smile, hoping to convince her further.

"Okay. Will you help me up?" She half smiles and holds out a hand.

I reach out to and grab her soft hand, and yank her up in one pull. She stumbles forward, leaving us inches apart. Her other hand, the injured one, catches herself on my chest, and I don't let go of the other one. I lean in to kiss her, but she turns and I end up kissing her cheek.

"Nathan, we can't do this. You know this." She steps away, and crosses her arms.

"We were literally kissing this morning." I argue.

"Well, I'm tired of my feelings being messed with while you try to pick between the two of us!" She yells, and turns to face away from me.

"You could have told me if it was getting harder on you." I step closer to her, but she just takes another step away.

"Just never mind Nathan. We almost finished that wall, so I'm going to go home to my kids. You finish up the parts you didn't, and I'm going to call an Uber."

"Okay, bye." I say softly, watching her pull out her phone.

"Bye." She says before she heads out the door.

* * *

 **You guys should know by now that I'm not one to give away things right away! You will find out what Meredith and Megan talked about eventually, but for right now, it's my little secret! *Queue the evil laugh***

 **Grey's Season 14 is now on Netflix, and I started re watching it, and I still wish Merthan got a proper goodbye. You guys know if I were to separate them in this story, that I would at least give them a proper goodbye, not just a "thank you" text, they deserve better than that. Anyways, that's the end of my rant and as always, please review!**


	20. Avoiding and Matchmaking

**So I wanted to update this weeks ago, but life seriously got in the way! Between the holiday, and my stepdad getting in an accident it has been hard to find inspiration but here is another chapter!**

 **Anyways, enjoy as always!**

* * *

My eyes hover over the surgical board, searching for his name. I find his name next to a valve replacement in OR two for this afternoon. I sigh, knowing that I will more than likely bump into him sometime today. Being off work for the week made it easy to avoid him, but now that I'm working again, it's going to be a little difficult.

I sip my coffee while watching the nurses write more stuff on the board. My name is written next to bowl resection at 3 this afternoon. Amelia has got an aneurysm clipping, and Alex's name doesn't end up on the board, or at least not yet.

First days back are always tough, but it feels especially tough today. Bailey had a nightmare last night, and crawled into bed with me. I love that boy to death but he is a crazy sleeper. He punched and kicked me most of the night, causing me to lose my much needed sleep. Then there is also the problem of Nathan, and the avoiding. I already know that will be an interesting conversation whenever we do see each other.

My thoughts are interrupted by my pager. I pull it off my waist to find the Chief paging me. I work my way to her office, hoping she isn't brushing patients off on me today, because I just want an easy day. That's all a girl can ask for on her first day back.

I knock twice before entering. "You paged?"

"Yes I did Grey. Come in." She motions me to come in, and I sit in the chair in front of her desk.

"I am in trouble?" I blurt without thinking. What on Earth could I be in trouble for? I haven't been to the hospital in a week. I laugh internally at my stupidity.

Bailey raises an eyebrow at me. "No, you're not." She hands me a file folder. "I've got a case coming in, and I think it's best you take care of this one."

I stare at the file in my hands, not bothering to open it. It's been awhile since I've held a completely paper chart. "I, uh, don't see why not."

"Great. She will be here shortly, and she is a very important, may I stress very important." She smiles.

I glance down at my hand, which is still wrapped. I'm supposed to be getting my stitches removed by Maggie in like 10 minutes. "How soon does she need an operation? My hand is still under question. No pain, healing nicely just not sure how well it will do while operating. I already have a surgery scheduled today and I think one is enough."

"The sooner the better. Well, what are you waiting for? Open the file."

I eyeball her suspiciously, but flip open the file to read the name. Rachel Jonas. The name doesn't sound familiar. "So who's this Rachel, and why is she so important?"

The Chief just nodded. "Keep reading."

I scan the pages, looking for anything significant. That's when I see it. She has an unhealed injury to her abdominal area from an explosion, and she was found being held captive in a hole, probably the same one Megan was in. "Why me?"

"Meredith, you're talented, that's why. They thought it's best to bring her here, with Megan. They spent years together down there, and they understand each other. When we broke the news to Megan, she asked for you to work on her friend. Said she wasn't completely okay with your choice in a boyfriend," I cringe a little and she continues. "But thinks that you would be best at saving her friend's life."

I blinked a few times, making sure I wasn't dreaming. "She's never seen me operate."

Bailey nods in agreement. "This is true, but I don't have the time. I'm still in over my head in paperwork from the hospital fire. It's been awhile but still, there is paperwork everywhere. Webber, he is still pissy about Minnick and won't really talk to me. So that leaves you, and everyone in that room praised your skills. She also recognized the name, your mother." I scoff. Of course, it always comes back to my mother. "Anyways, Rachel should be here by this evening. You know the drill, go over what details we have, and just wait till she gets her."

I stand up with the files in my hand. "Thank you for the opportunity, and I whenever she gets here, I let you know the plan of action."

She nods absentmindedly as I turn to leave, not before she adds one last thing. "Just let me know if it's too much for you to handle or need help or anything. Also remember that she will more than likely have PTSD just like Megan does."

"I know. It's not going to be an easy one, but I can handle it." I smile before turning to leave.

Megan had told me last week that she wants to try with Nathan, and that why I had avoided him. I am respecting her wishes. She also said that she needed people around her who understood her, so hopefully it will be good for the both Rachel and Megan to be brought back together again, as well as her and Nathan. It will be for the best.

I find my way to the nurse's station where Maggie was supposed to meet me so that she could take out my stitches. I glance at the time, then around me. She was supposed to meet me here a couple minutes ago. I look around again, and see Nathan coming right towards me. I grab the nearest tablet and pretend to be busy.

He slides by me, picking up a different tablet. He clears his throat, getting the attention of some of the nurses around, but I pretend like I didn't hear it at all.

"Doctor Grey, I didn't know you were coming back today." I can feel his eyes on me. "It's great to finally see you again, isn't it?"

"Yeah." I mumble.

"So, you still have wrap on your hand. I'm assuming you still have the stitches in then?"

"Yeah," I don't bother looking up, even though I can feel his eyes on me. "Maggie was supposed to take them out a few minutes ago but I don't know where she is."

My eyes stay on the tablet, but I watch him out of the corner of my eye put his tablet down and step forward. "Meredith, I can take them out for you. I saw your name on the board and I know that you are gonna need them out if you want to do that surgery."

I bit my lip, and force myself to look at him. "That would be great, actually, but I'm still waiting on Maggie."

"Meredith, I can do it. Wouldn't you rather have it done and over with?"

"I would but-"

"But nothing." He interrupts. "I can do it, Meredith. I am a very capable surgeon with very skilled hands." He smirks.

My mouth drops open just little, and I close my lips into a fine line. "You're inappropriate!"

He puts his hands up. "Hey, you were the one that took it that way. I was talking purely about my surgical skill."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Mhm. Okay Mr. Confident."

"Do you want me to take out your stitches or not?" He sighs.

"Fine, let's go." I abandon the tablet at the nurse's station and head to grab the stuff needed with Nathan following me. I lead him into the attending's lounge and take a seat on one of the couches, and hand him the stuff.

"So, you've been avoiding me." He snaps on his gloves.

I place my hand on the plastic paper in front of him. "No I haven't."

"Meredith, I'm sorry but you are a terrible liar. You can't even look at me when you say it." He locks eyes with me, testing me.

"Bet I can."

"Do it then."

"I haven't been avoiding you." I smile, seeing as I succeed.

"Ha! You smiled!" He bursts out.

"I smiled afterwards so it doesn't matter." I retort.

"Still, you are lying." His tone gets more serious, and he starts to unwrap the wrap around my hand. "Just tell me."

"It's just better for us if we are friends, nothing else. Okay?" I think back to my conversation with Megan.

" _Megan?" I called as I entered her room._

" _Meredith." She responded softly from her spot in the chair next to the bed._

" _You wanted to talk?" I ask, getting straight to the point._

" _You can sit." She nods to the bed. I slide over to her side and sit at the door of the bed. "Meredith-"_

 _I'm quick to interrupt her. "Look, about the other day, I understand you were upset and you have every right to be-"_

" _Meredith," She is the one interrupting this time. "That's partly what I wanted to talk you about to say. I wanted to apologize, and you are right. I was angry and said something in the heat of the moment."_

" _Well, I accept your apology." I give her a soft smile._

" _Good." She sighs._

" _You said that is partly what you wanted to talk about, what's the other part?"_

 _She sighs softly. "I would like to try with Nathan."_

" _Oh." Is all I can muster._

" _Yeah. I want to try. I want people around me who understand me, and he is one of those people you know?"_

" _Makes sense." I nod._

" _May I ask how long you guys were together for?"_

" _Not very long actually. A couple months maybe? It hadn't been very long. He chased me for months before I finally gave in."_

" _He chased you?" She asked._

" _I uh, kept turning him down, but he was persistent." I fold my hands in my lap, and look at them to avoid looking at her._

" _I can see why. You're very pretty, and if you are a surgeon, you are obviously smart." My eyes find hers now._

" _Thank you. Megan, you're beautiful too, you know." I add with a smile._

" _Thank you." She half smiles. "Don't tell him I want to try. You can push him in that general direction, but I want to see if the spark is still there without him forcing himself. You know what I mean?"_

" _It makes complete sense. He is gonna kill us when he finds out we are conspiring against him." I laugh._

" _He'll get over it." She pauses. "Eventually."_

 _This causes us to both erupt into laughter. "I gotta go Megan, but it was nice talking to you. I'll keep what you said in mind." I wink at her, before turning to leave._

 _As I walk out of that room, I know that Megan and I's idea are going to be different. For me, the easiest thing to do will be to avoid him. So that's what I'll do when I get the opportunity._

That opportunity came quicker than originally thought, when we were messing around in the coffee shop.

"Okay." Is all he responded with. He now focuses on my hand, and removing my stitches. One by one, he removes them gently.

One that last one, he moves a certain way and I can't help by wince. "Ow."

"Are you okay?"

"Fine, that last one just hurt a little." I smile through the pain.

"Well, it looks good to go." He takes his gloves off, and puts them on the tray with the rest of the stuff.

"Good." I pull my hand back into my lap.

"Well, I should probably go check on my patients." He stands to leave.

I don't want him to leave quite yet so I think of anything to get him to stay a little longer. "Did you, do you know that someone Megan knows is being transferred here?"

He spins back around to face me, with look of curiosity on his face. "No, I didn't. Who?"

"Someone named Rachel, who was stuck with Megan."

He crosses his arms across his chest, and leans his weight to one side. "Does Megan know that she is coming?"

"Yeah, Doctor Bailey said she did." I nod.

He takes a seat next to me again. "What if her being here causes Megan PTSD?"

I can see the worry in his eyes. I know that he still cares very deeply for her, and they definitely deserve their chance to reconnect. "Maybe. Bailey said it might be good for the both of them to have some familiarity around while they both recover."

He shrugs. "I mean I guess. Do you know what is wrong with the girl?"

"Bailey actually gave me a file on her. Her injury, it's pretty bad. She has a humongous abdominal wound that never healed, so she just has this big hole in her abdomen." I shake my head knowing this won't easy. "Bailey is giving me the case, but it's going to be a rough recovery from what I see, and that's only what I know. I haven't even seen her yet, or gotten labs or anything else. I definitely want to help, but it's just a lot."

"Meredith," He puts his hand on my knee, but quickly pulls it away. "You can handle it. You are an amazing surgeon."

I scoff. "Of course I know that."

"Well, you didn't sound to confident a second ago." He puts a hand on his hip.

"I- I was, I was just rambling!"

"Mhm."

I roll my eyes. "Whatever."

He gets up again. "I really do have to check on my patients now. Let me know when she gets here."

"I will." I smile. "Megan might need you, or it would just be great for you to be there for her."

He opens the door. "I will try to be there, no guarantees."

"Nathan," I call before he is out the door, and he turns to face me again. "Be there for her. It would be good for you both."

"Okay." He nods before leaving.

I can just hope I nudged him toward Megan. Megan deserves whatever she wants after what she went through, and if that's Nathan, I'm going to help her. My good deed for the day. More like for the week, but still.

* * *

I pull the ferry boat scrub cap off my head before collapsing onto the attending's lounge couch. I fold the scrub cap in my hands, reminiscing about Derek. Nathan's miracle dream came true, and he deserves more than anything to live it out. I rub my thumb over the soft fabric, right over the ferry boat. I would give anything to have Derek back. Nathan better not mess his chance up, or I'm definitely going to get furious with him.

I shove the scrub cap into my lab coat pocket, done reminiscing for the day. No point in dwelling on the past, right?

I glance at my watch and see that Rachel should be here very, very soon. My bowl obstruction was exhausting, and I would rather just go home and snuggle my kids. I lay back, trying to relax before she gets here.

That doesn't last long when Maggie comes flying through the door, probably waking up all of Seattle.

"Maggie, was that entrance necessary?" I snap.

"Meredith! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, really." She moves to the coffee machine. "I've been looking for you actually."

"You have?" I ask as I pull my hair from the French braids.

"I was supposed to remove your stitches this morning-" She turns, stopping abruptly. "Oh, you had them removed."

"Yeah, I waited for a little, but Nathan offered to remove them." I shake my hair lose, and it falls on my shoulder in light waves.

"Nathan huh? How was that, since you have been, you know, avoiding him?" She raises an eyebrow before sitting beside me.

"It was fine. He actually asked about the avoiding."

She sips her coffee. "Really?"

"I just told him it's best if we are just friends."

"And he said?" She asks.

"He just said okay." I shrug.

"Doesn't sound like he's happy with that."

I shake my head. "Probably not, but he has Megan."

My pager buzzes, I can't help but let out a groan. I really just need to sleep. It's Bailey, so Rachel must be here. "I gotta go."

"See ya." She calls to me.

I don't bother responding. I find my way to the room where Bailey paged me. I enter the patient room to see a dark haired woman sitting up, and talking.

"Rachel, this is Doctor Grey." Bailey introduces me.

I love to the side of the bed, shaking her hand. "I'm Rachel."

"Hi Rachel. Can I examine you really fast?"

She nods, and I check basics first. Listening to her heart and breathing. I pull up her gown to see exactly what was described. I big hole in her abdomen. I pull her gown back down, and grab the tablet from the table.

"Okay Rachel, we are going to get some scans and blood work. We will come up with a plan of action tomorrow morning once we know more, sound good?" I smile, quickly updating her chart.

"Sounds good. I just want this hole gone."

"I don't blame you. Someone will be by soon to take you down for some scans."

"Okay. Thank you Doctor Grey." She smiles for the first time since I entered the room.

"Just doing my job." I add before leaving.

She seems positive, and optimistic. It's exactly what Nathan and Megan need to see that they should be together. Rachel is the perfect person to help get them back together. No need to avoid Nathan anymore.

* * *

 **So Meredith avoided Nathan, and is now playing matchmaker, what next?**

 **Anyways, always feel free to leave a review :)**


	21. The Plan

**As always, thanks for the reviews! This update took a little longer than I had wanted it to, but I've been crazy busy lately! But I got myself into a system that I try to write 200 words whenever I have free time, and that seemed to work for this chapter. Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

I pour my favorite warm liquid into a cup in the attending's lounge and take a sip. Coffee is perfect for mornings like this, when it's a little chilly out and it's early. My eyes find the clock on the wall, which reads seven o'clock. Nathan should be here any second, as we agreed to meet here at seven before heading to Rachel's room to talk to her. Not yet about her injuries, because I haven't reviewed the scans and labs enough to come up with a plan. We are going to see if she will tell us some about her time in that hole with Megan, to help Nathan better understand her since Megan won't talk about it.

I sigh, and step toward the couch to sit down. Nathan swings the door open slowly, holding to coffees.

"You got me coffee?" I tilt my head to the side.

"Yeah, I got it from the new coffee shop that still hasn't opened yet. I know you really liked it and I figured you would want some but I see you already have coffee so…" He trails off.

I push myself of the couch, leaving the coffee I just made on the table and I take a couple steps toward him. "I still want it! I would so much rather have that the hospital's coffee."

"Okay then." He hands me the coffee, and our hands momentarily touch. I swallow, trying to ignore the feeling I got when I touched him. Him and Megan are probably going to get back together, so I really just need to get over him.

"You ready to talk to her?" I ask, walking toward the door.

"I don't know honestly." He opens the door for me and follows behind me. "I'm a little afraid to hear about what they went through. I don't know if I can handle it, so I don't know how they did."

"Well would you rather know some of what she went through or just imagine? I bet your imagination will be way worse." We walk side by side, our steps in sync. "She's a strong woman Nathan, that's how she handled it."

"I just don't know what to expect."

"Try not to expect anything and just be there for her. She needs you." I smile at him, hoping that he gets what I was implying.

He stays silent for the rest of the walk, all that can be heard is the sound of our footsteps and some nurse chatter in the distance. This time I open the door, and follow him in.

"Hey Rachel, how are feeling?" I remove my stethoscope from around my neck and listen to her breathe for a few moments.

"Um, pretty okay I guess. This hospital staff is amazing, if it weren't for all the needles and that hospital smell, one might think it's a fancy hotel where you never leave your bed." She smiles.

I move to check her abdominal wound and see no change, but it still looks pretty darn nasty. "Well, I like to think we have some of the best hospital staff around, so that is good to hear. Now, any pain?"

"I've been pretty much pain free for a while Doctor Grey." I watch out of the corner of my eye as Nathan cringes a little. Megan's recovery hasn't been the easiest.

"That's good. How about when I press down here?" I put some pressure on her lower abdomen, and she winces. "I figured that would happen." I smile.

"Well then why did you do it then?" She questions as I recover her with her gown.

"Because I needed to know." I move to the foot of the bed, grabbing the tablet to add some notes.

"Whatever. So who is this guy and why is he so quiet? Am I dying?" She raises an eyebrow for a moment before laughing. "So, who is he Doctor Grey?"

"This is my colleague Doctor Nathan Riggs. He is a cardio surgeon." Nathan gives a slight smile, but continues to stare at the woman in the bed in front of him.

"Cardio is hearts right? Is there something wrong with my heart?" Her brows furrow and her breathing increases slightly.

"No Rachel, your heart is fine. Nathan and I, were wondering if you would talk a little about your time in the that hole. It's fine if you don't want to, really." I smile softly, and try to read her reaction, but there is none. Her face is blank and she is just staring back at us.

Nathan clears his throat. "You don't have to if you don't want to. We are just curious."

She sighs. "Not to be rude but, why would you care?"

"We care because of Megan." Nathan states plainly.

"Oh!" She relaxes. "You're are the Megan's fiancée. It makes a little bit more sense now why you want to talk. So, what do you want to know?"

I nudge Nathan when he doesn't answer right away, but he seems frozen. "He just wants to know more about what happened all those years, to better help understand Megan. He wants to get back with her, but she won't talk to him about it and I think it's eating him alive to know what happened." I hear him swallow roughly, and I glance over to see him giving me a glare.

"Well, there was a lot. You might want to sit; this could be awhile." She nods to the chair next her bed.

I find this is the perfect time to excuse myself. "I've got more patients to check up on, page me if you need me. We should have a plan of action soon for your abdomen. Hopefully by the end of today." I nod and smile, probably looking like a freak before grabbing my coffee and leaving.

I drop the tablet off at the nearest nurse's station, and make my way toward an elevator. I'm just getting on when my phone buzzes.

" _Since when I have said I want to get back with her? I haven't made the decision yet even though you just want to be friends, but thank you for getting me to talk to Rachel, I'll let you know how it goes."_

I smile, knowing he was going to say something about that. It's all part of my plan to get him and Megan together. So I quickly text back saying "You're welcome."

Once I reach the Peds floor, I begin my search for Alex. I need to tell someone my plan, just to make sure it isn't completely irrational and crazy. I watch as he walks into a patient's room, I wait at the nurse's station for him. I grab a tablet and pull up Rachel's scans to look over them while I wait. Her abdomen looks like a complete mess. Between all the scar tissue, and the various half fixed injuries to her organs, it won't be easy to close that wound. The only definite thing is that it will take multiple surgeries. I scan over her labs, which actually look pretty close to normal for the most part. With good labs, everything will be a little easier, as long as there are no surprises.

I jump when a hand lands on my shoulder, but I turn around to find it's only Alex. "Alex, don't scare me like that!" I elbow him in the ribs.

"I didn't mean to startle you, but you were deep in thought looking at those scans. Tough patient?" He hands the tablet he was holding to the nurse and leans against the counter next to me.

"It's Rachel, the one who was down in that hole with Megan." I slide over to the scan of her abdomen and turn the tablet towards him.

"Ouch, that is one nasty abdominal wound." He cringes.

"I know. I don't even know where to begin yet. She doesn't have enough tissue to cover the wound, and I also have to watch the scar tissue. Plus, there is the injuries to her abdominal organs that need to be addressed too." I sigh, laying the tablet down.

"I mean it will be a cool surgery though," He shrugs. "Something you haven't really done before and you probably won't see another injury like this."

"True. Can we talk about something else?" He nods, and I continue. "I want to give my brain sometime to try to process her injuries and I have a question to ask you."

"Can we head to get a cup of coffee? I haven't had one yet and I really need one." He smiles, and follow him to the attending's lounge. "So, what do you want to ask me?"

I match my strides to his, thinking about the best way to ask this without sounding totally crazy. "So, the patient Rachel-"

"I thought we weren't talking about her?" He cuts me off.

"Well, if you'd let me finish, I was going to say it's not about her injuries." I frown.

"Sorry Mer, continue."

"Well, she seems to be this happy and optimistic person."

He chuckles. "So, the opposite of you?"

I punch his shoulder lightly. "Would you just shut up and listen to me?"

He laughs, and I roll my eyes. "Fine, I'll listen."

"Good. So, she seems to be this happy person. I don't know if I told you or not, but Megan wants to try with Nathan, and I'm going to use Rachel to help get them together. I'm going to be like some sort of matchmaker, you know? Where they set people up together? That's what I'm trying to do. Is it impossible?" I sit on one of the couches as Alex fills his cup with coffee.

"Why doesn't Megan just tell Nathan that she wants to be with him?" He takes a sip of his coffee.

"Because she wants to see if he really wants her, she doesn't want him to be with her unless he really wants it. She just doesn't want him to feel obligated to be with her." I shrug. "Otherwise the relationship wouldn't be that great."

"That makes sense, but you being the one to try to get them together doesn't." He falls down onto the couch next to me.

"So tell me why it doesn't make sense." I turn myself to face him, being completely serious and he just busts out laughing.

"You Meredith?" He holds in his laughter. "You are very dark and twisty so I don't see that working out."

"So? I can use that to my advantage."

"And you were involved with him, don't you think that is going to mess with your head?" He asks, getting serious.

"So? They will probably last longer than we would."

"I don't care about that. I care about if you are okay or not, and this may make you go dark and twisty again." He states his opinion with concern.

"I'll be fine." I smile.

"As long as you are okay, then I'm okay with you trying to be a matchmaker. Am I allowed to place a bet on if it will work or not?"

"Nope." I push myself to my feet. "Because it will." I skipped to the door, and before I leave, I add one last thing. "Watch me."

* * *

 **Nathan POV**

I give a little wave before shutting Rachel's door behind me. I sigh and lean against the door. Meredith had told me to talk to Rachel to better understand Megan, but now I just have more questions. I will definitely be going back to talk to Rachel again. I told her to either tell me the easier stuff today or to sugarcoat it, because I'm not sure I can handle listening to what she went through until I mentally prepared myself, but soon I will find out everything I possibly can. Now I wanted to find Meredith and thank her again.

I check the attending's lounge first, as she goes there a lot to get coffee, but no Meredith there. I check the OR board and she isn't in a surgery right now, so she's either with a patient or eating lunch. Probably lunch, since it's almost 1 o'clock now. A low grumble comes from my stomach, so I might as well head to the cafeteria anyways.

I see her blonde hair at the front of the line, which is a surprise that it's down. She always has her hair in a little ponytail or braided back for surgery. She looks even more beautiful with it down, if that's possible.

I grab a tray with a sandwich on it and quickly pay for it before jogging to catch up to Meredith, and taking a seat next to her.

"Oh, hey Doctor Riggs."

"Meredith, we aren't working right now so call me Nathan."

"Riggs, I'll call you whatever I want to call you." She takes a bite of her sandwich.

I clear my throat. "Okay then." I'm not really sure what that is about, she is probably just in a mood or something. "I wanted to thank you again, for getting me to talk to Rachel."

"No problem," she pauses to take another bite of her sandwich. "I don't think that's what coworkers usually do, but oh well." She shrugs her shoulders.

"Coworkers?" I ask. She is definitely acting strange today.

"That's what we are, aren't we?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah, but…" I trail off, unsure of what to say.

"Well, did you learn anything about what happened with Megan?" She asks before taking another bite of her sandwich.

"Uh, a little bit, yeah." I nod.

"Well that's good, unless it was bad stuff. Was it bad stuff?"

I shake my head. "I asked her for mainly the easier stuff today, so I could have some time to mentally prepare for the rest of it."

"Hmm."

"Yeah." I take a sip of my drink while I study her features. She has a determined look in her eyes, but I don't know what for or why.

She interrupts my thoughts of her. "What's the most interesting thing you've learned so far?"

I let out a huff of air, remembering what Rachel and I talked about.

" _So, Nathan. It's nice to finally see the face of the person I've heard about. You already know this, but I would like to formally introduce myself." She sticks her hand out to me, and I grasp it lightly. "I'm Rachel, Megan's friend from the hole."_

" _Nathan, Megan's fiancée." I shake her hand quickly._

" _It's really is so nice to finally meet you."_

 _I sit in the chair by her bedside and scoot it a little closer. "You too."_

" _I bet you have a billion and one questions." I nod and she continues. "So, anything in particular you want to know about?"_

 _I swallow and find myself staring at the wall across from me. I know exactly what I want to ask, but I don't think I'm prepared for the answer. "Could we stick to good stuff today, or sugar coat it for me?"_

" _Of course, just let me know when you want me to stop sugar coating it, if you do at all." She smiles softly._

" _I will. So uh, first question. Did she talk about me?"_

 _She laughs a little. "Sweetie, I knew who you were once you mentioned Megan. How else would I have been able to guess that?"_

 _I let a little chuckle. "I guess that's true. So I guess my real question is, did she talk about me a lot? And was it good or bad things?"_

" _Oh sweetie, did she ever talk about you. It's all she talked about for months. About how when she was rescued or got free, how you guys were going to immediately get married. She talked about her dream wedding, and how she might even consider kids. She then went to describe you in detail, and imagine what your kids would look like. She talked about you a lot, at least in the beginning. I think as time went on, she talked about less and less because she was losing hope."_

"Nathan, are you okay?" Meredith asks, with a look of concern on her face. She shakes me again, but I stay unmoving. "Nathan."

I snap out of my daze I was in, and just stare into her eyes for a moment. "I'm good."

"You blanked for a couple minutes, are you sure you are okay?" Her hand doesn't leave my shoulder.

"She talked about me."

"What?"

"You asked what was the most interesting thing I learned so far. It was that she talked about me, for months and months on end, even though we had probably our biggest fight right before she disappeared. She talked about me, and I thought she wouldn't have."

"That's good, Nathan." Meredith rubs my arm to comfort me, but in the end it confuses me more. Megan talked about me, and even wanted me after I cheated on her, but here is the woman who I am in love with, comforting me about it. I have no idea what to do, that's what I know for sure.

* * *

 **I think it's just a little funny that I started this Meredith being a matchmaker storyline before S15, & in S15 Meredith hires a matchmaker, but it might just be funny to me, idk!**

 **As usually, review! Hopefully the next part will be up in a couple weeks :)**


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